Monday, March 29, 2010
Eggs (and sperm) for sale!Ok since all these people keep asking me to have a kid for them since mine are so damn cute- for a limited time you can buy our junk!
5000$ (+ 3000$ for each additional egg) for a sperm and egg combo
10,000$ + hospital expenses if you want me to carry and deliver the baby.
As far as I'm concerned that is a frickin steal!
Please- cash only.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Oh My God! Technology orgasm!I'm watching the latest episode of Project Runway while finishing up my family ABC scrapbook.
Ok, let me just rewind.
When I was younger- in Jr. High- we got our first computer with Windows and CD-Rom. When I wasn't playing Carmen San Diego I was messing around with this program my dad got especially for me. It was basically a computer animation program. I got as far as making my initials move back and forth. I'll be honest, I didn't keep up with it because I have no patience. Man I need to get some. For serious.
Anyway- and while I was messing with the program my dad woul tell me about this kick ass thing where you can use a special pen to draw on a computer pad to put on the computer.
I've wanted one since. Want. I still do.
I'm artsy fartsy at my core. And I've been in love with computers- specifically the clickity clack of typing- since my first computer way back before Windows was available for th normal person. Ok, so it was supposed to a family computer- but I think we all know it was mine. MINE! Which is why Stephen and I have our computers now- I don't share my computer.
Ok, back to Project Runway- so they get to do the coolest thing- get to design/make their own fabric using their HP pads.
And they can use a mother fucking paint brush to paint on the computer!
Oh My God.
I need a cigarette after that awesomeness.
Of course I'm kicking myself so fucking hard for not sticking with it.
Then again it's never too late- maybe I'll pick it back up :)
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Because sometimes life doesn't turn out how you want it toI'm a planner and a scheduler. If I could know when I was going to die I'd probably want to- just so I can plan around it. When Paul and Teddy were born I put them on a strict sleeping and feeding schedule- they were sleeping through the night at 3 months (high five to me!).
But not everything turned out how I planned- especially with kids.
I grew up just assuming I'd breastfeed. That's the way it is, right?
Then I had a stubborn little boy who couldn't figure out how to latch on and my retarded boobs thought to themselves "We don't need to make more than a tablespoon of milk in 3 days!" so we switched him to the bottle.
I was upset about, of course- truth is I still am a bit. Don't get me wrong I'd much rather my kid eat something rather than putting him on the boob just to say I put him on the boob.
I always thought I'd squeeze a big ole baby out of my cooter. I didn't know about c-sections until my mom had to have one with her 8th and final kid (not final because of the c-section, final because, hell- 8 kids!).
But then that stubborn little boy had to be turned the wrong way and was determined to stay that way. And I'm "natural" on my own damn terms- so I waited to see if he'd turn on his own. Pfft- yeah right.
So we scheduled a c-section.
And do all these things make me feel like less of a mom? Hell no.
It's been the fad lately (I say lately... since the late 80s and early 90s) in "studies" and such to tell parents things like- if you go to your child each time they cry they'll be more trusting, and bond with you more.
I'm going to say something that will more than likely get me into major trouble- but fuck that, it's my blog!*
I think the parents who buy into that are completely unsure of not only their parenting skills but themselves.
Ok, sorry- it's just my opinion on the matter.
I love a good cuddle and a hug from my kids just as much as the next parent. But do I need that to make me feel better about myself? No.
Do my kids trust me, cuddle and love me, even though I didn't run to them at every sound? Yes. Can they play on their own without having to crawl up my ass every 2 seconds? Fuck yes!
Of course there are parents who think "why wouldn't you want to stop what you're doing to give your children your undivided attention!?"
Because I live in the real world and I know that my 3 year old will repeat the same damn sentance over and over and over and over and OVER again no matter if you respond and listen to him or not.
I have more than one child, a husband, and grown-up responcibilities- so did I set them up in their seats balancing their bottles on a stuffed animal so I could tend to other things? Yes.
And did it break our bond? No.
If there was one thing I wish people would know is that- sometimes things don't work out how you want, and that's ok. It's fine if you're not holding your baby all the time. You can and will still bond with them.
*this isn't saying your way is wrong and not to do it. I don't think my way is best. Just want people to know that if you don't run to them every2 seconds it's ok. And too- still my opinion, still my blog.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Either I'm mean or one of the few sane...But it drives me bat shit crazy when people (not specifically, just in general) forget the douchebaggery of one person just because they've died.
Oh sure, it's sad and all that when someone dies.
But what if that someone molested someone you know? Molested you? Was a filthy cheat and an asshole? Are we just supposed to forget?
Now, this isn't a contradiction for me- someone who's a pacifist (except while role-playing- die mother fucker!) and believes that every life is worth something. This is about people make douchebags who've died into some sort of hero. We can mourn the dead with out making them out to be better than they were.
Of course this doesn't apply to me- all the (2) people who hate me are stupid and ugly.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
If I were dorkier I'd .. I dunno...
As much as I love to play D&D and such, every time I get a chance to sit there and read the rules my mind goes blanks and I get tired. My poor friends are probably getting sick of me asking the same questions every 2 seconds. I am a dork- but I was a theater dork all through high school. I never felt smart enough to hang out with the science geeks (so I admired them from afar). Now I'm an appliance dork (oooh! New stoves and fridges!) Still, I wish that when sitting around the D&D table when everyone's yapping about... whatever the fuck they yap about... that I shared in their enthusiasm. Either that or gamed with someone who shared in my love of all things kitchen.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Literal fairytales...My mom called earlier tonight telling me my dad's dad (I guess I could say grandpa) had a 3rd stroke. He's fine- I mean as well as an 87 year old man could be after having a 3rd stroke. My mom said he looked somewhat "angelic."
He'd lost a lot of weight and his skin is baby butt smooth.
So that got me thinking and remembering. I have bits and peices of memories of him.
You knw, normal grandparent type stuff- him yelling at a 7 year old me to get out of the way of the TV cause the football game was on. Him saying things like "Oh for cryin' out loud!" Eating cheesecake, cheeseballs and Hershey Minis (he'd always share but we were never aloud to touch the Special Dark). How he once made
But one memory sticks out in my mind and I have no idea why. Probably because thinking back I'm pretty sure my parents told him to take us out and kill us. Haha!
How we got to tis place I'm not sure- but somehow we were at this huge place of scrap wood. I mean there was just huge pile of wood.
Not logs. Not 2x4s. A huge pile of different sizes of wood- all splintered. None of it usable- I mean unless you were a child. Ohhh the forts and houses we could make with it! There was a building and walked up soem stairs to go in the side door.
We waited outside not aloud to move or touch anything.
...and then we went back to his house where we had cheesecake and gingerale.
It seeed like they always had cheesecake and gingerale. And a giant pot of chili on the stove.
But what we were doing at a building next to a giant pile of wood I'll never know.
I like to think he either went there to rough someone up, ask about a job, or give someone money.
Or my parents sent him there to Hansel and Gretal us and leave us.
Most people think these things about their grandparents, right?
But he was- still is- a huge mystery and to be honest I've always been terrified of him. I dare you to enter in his line of sight while a football game is on! Seriously, try it- you'll realize later you've lost a limb.
But all these things make him somewhat endearing. Besides- I love a good mystery- so as unsure of him as I am, I'm fascinated and hold memories of him close.
Besides, everytime I eat Hershey Minis and cheeseballs I think of him.
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
If I got pregnant now....oh we'd love our new child if we got pregnant now.
But please dear God now is not the time.
Ok, yeah yeah, all my Christian friends and family will tell me that God has a plan, blah blah blah.
To what? Put us in debt?
If I got pregnant now we'd have yet another child born around November/December. I'm sorry but holiday babies are murder on the wallet.
No, we are not greedy misers (sp?) not having kids because of financial burden. But I think everyone can admit finances are stressful and it is the #1 reason why couples fight. I've always put my husband before my kids (I know, that makes me a bad mom...) and we're already stressed about finances- even though honestly we're better off than most people as the only debt we have is our mortgage.
But if we had another kid now we'd have to put the kids in daycare and I'd have to go work full time.
I don't mind the working. But we feel it's important for one of us to stay at home with the kids. And I don't have all the schooling I need to jump into a career. I'd go back into restaurant work- I mean don't get me wrong, I love working in restaurants. But that's not exactly stable money.
On the other hand... another baby. :)
I mean we were planning to have a third child at some point and is anytime the perfect time? Sometimes it has to be an accident for it to be the right time.
More than likely though we won't be having a third kid any time soon.
Monday, March 08, 2010
UhhuuI should really write a new blog but I can't think of anything to write about.
Saturday, March 06, 2010
Scalping babies- good or bad?I've been trying to write this blog for like a week now- but every time I thought about it I wasn't anywhere near a computer or had to put the kids to bed or something.
But, finally, I got my chance. So this may be a jumbled mess of a million different thoughts but hopefully some sense comes out of it.
Let's start by weeding out some people. Let just get mad at me or love me right up front.
I think women who get partial birth abortions are bitches and, to me quite possibley, worse than serial killers.
I don't fucking get it. Is it a level of selfishness so radical it's beyond human comprehenson? Why? Why the fuck would a woman go through 9 months of labor- feeling every movement, each knee, each elbow, every jolt to the ribs, every symptom of hunger, fatigue, backache... just everything only to kill the baby upon crowning?
Are parents who kill their 3 month old baby any worse than that? Yet we find those parents disgusting, and want them to pay for their actions. Yet no one wisks the mom away who killed her baby. There's no logic behind it. You're just a pathetic excuse for a human imo.
Which brings me to my next thought- I was as the Walmart vision center today (cause I get my eyes checked at super fancy doctor offices in Walmwart) and there was a stack of People Magazines. One issue yapped about the Duggars possibley having too many kids now that their newest, Josie, is a premie.
And next to it was another People Magazine telling a heroic tale of Celine Dion wanting a second child.
I cannot be the only one to see the crazy holes in all that.
If we stopped having kids because of the possibility something bad may happen to our children the human race would cease to exist. I'm sorry, but I'm not that selfish to think that I am the end all be all.
Oh don't get me wrong, I am definately not saying every human should have kids. Having kids does not make you more human, and it doesn't make you less. I'm saying don't let your fear hold you back.
Paul could get run over by a truck tomorrow- and as devastating as that would be I know I cherished every moment with him.
But before getting pregnant did I think "my child may one day be hit by a truck" and then not have him? Never. Well of course the bad thoughts pop into your head- all the what ifs that run through a parent's mind. The difference is what we do with those thoughts. Our reactions. I hope tha I teach my children to be aware and to be cautious but to never let my fear of something bad happening to them hold them back.
Now, I am not the type of mom to be defined by her kids. I am not "Paul's mom," I am not "Teddy's mom," I have a name damnit. My own name. But I would give every day of my life for one last with them.
I hate the notion that abortion is an acceptable form of birth control. If you can't handle the possibility of maybe getting pregnant while using birth control (as there's always that chance) then keep your fucking legs closed.
Now before you get all snippy and huffy and puffy- yeah yeah the rape issue. So many abortion rights activists bring this up.
That fucking sucks and I honestly don't know how I'd feel if I got pregnant by a douche bag who raped me.
Personally I believe it's not the baby's fault. And though concieved in horrible circumstances every life is worth something (mmm baby meat goes for a lot in certain countries...) I gues a lot of women feel scared to bond with someone who is half asshole douche bag monster rapist. I would be too. But there is adoption. And each person is their own, unique self. Maybe it's destiny or whatever that your meant to teach the baby to become something great.
What I don't understand is how one can have hope for a woman struggling to have a second child and yet not have hope for the family of a premature infant who happens to have 18 brothers and sisters.
It isn't fair and I think life should be much more respected than it is.
It's like Dr. Manhattan says (paraphrasing here)- we take life for granted because it's normal and every day. We forget what a miracle it is.
Friday, March 05, 2010
Ok, I guess I just did. lmao
*omg shut up, no I didn't. I'm pro-life, I wouldn't do that stupids
Thursday, March 04, 2010
I'm too lazy to write anything......so photos and videos it is!
Labels: Photos Videos
Monday, March 01, 2010
Man, you guys suckI guess the RFS Blog Awards are officially dead. It's ok. It was fun while it lasted :)
Ok, first off- I have an announcement:
AND Stephen and I got a new coffee maker. It totally rules my world! I love it too much. Way too fucking easy!
1st, turn on the machine
Next, chose a flavor