Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Damn you Twilight!
I hate these books.I hate that they're so whiney, and "oh boohoo my boyfriend left me."
I hate that I read a paragraph that I know I've seen in a TV show before- line for line.
I hate that even with all that I can't seem to stop thinking about it. I'm not really sure how that happened. It's not like what I usually do when I hate something and think about how much I loathe it all damn day.
I just started New Moon and Edward is gone- and my god this is so embarrassing to admit- but I was really upset when he left.
Even though her whole boohoo my boyfriend is gone I'm gonna be sick crap was predictable, annoying, and totally taken from Sense and Sensibility (which pissed me off more since I love Jane Austen).
Some how I got attached to Edward and didn't even realize it.
I hate that this book has me reliving certain situations and times I outgrew long ago.
I hate that this whole thing (oh yes vampires and all) reminds me of him. I was a tad older when he left. And I was a stupid little girl, and I was sick to my stomach about it. I hate being old, married with 2 kids, settled in a wonderful marriage, and having all those old feelings rush in. You know those ones where there's that slight ping of hope he'll walk through that door.
I hate being hopeful for that whiney brat Bella.
I think that may be part of the appeal of these books (keep in mind I've just started the 2nd one).
I'm completely happy in my marriage. Not that we don't have our problems of course.
But that excitement of when you first start dating someone is long gone. That excitment of knowing you're going to spend the rest of your life with someone but it's still new.
The excitement of newness gets replaced by the excitement of comfort. And I think these stupid Twilight books bring in that excitement of newness. And sparkles....
I like what I have with my husband- I like that comfort that only comes with time and accpetance.
But it's been a long time since I've even been aware when he "accidently" brushes against my boobs.
There's no chance of him ever leaving- so I have to / get to play out my fantansies of longing for him while he's away through a stupid book about teenager vampires.
Btw I totally do not get the sense that he's struggling not to eat her... umm I mean drink her blood. *cough*
DAMN IT Twilight! Quit making me get all romantical and crap!
Monday, November 23, 2009
Oh. My. God! I figured it out!
Mystery solved!I figured out why people love this idiotic Twilight book!
Ok, so I was determined to finish this
Finally I had about a 1/4 of the way left and somehow, some way, it got pretty interesting.
And I figured it out. It was pretty genius on the author's part.
The entire book I was hating Bella. I mean a loathing hatred. I had to stop reading just to exclaim "omg will you shut UP!?" (seriously, ask Stephen, lol).
And then it came time when she might die.
DIE a horrible death!
I couldn't put it down!
Then of course Edward had to save her annoying ass.
Damnit.
Everyone says New Moon is a better book, so against my better judgement I'm going to read it. Maybe she'll have her tongue ripped out in this book!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
All about balls
Let me just say that I am a moron. Trust me.I'll explain how later- but first lets get to the balls.
Last night was D&D night. The one night a week I try and hold my own at a gaming table with 6 guys and roll some dice.
I usually have a brash sense of humor and can usually say stuff to make the guys stare at me in disbelief that such a dainty and sweet lady could say such things.
cough
Well, last night our friend told me about these strap on balls a female can buy to wear around.
All last night at the table I tried to figure out why the hell anyone would buy those.
I can't understand why any female would want hairy sweaty balls shoved inbetween her legs. WANT!
I don't even understand how a man can stand them- if they had the choice I assume a man would get rid of his balls (not figuratively- you can still be strong manly ballsy men without them sticking to your leg).
So all night I tried to figure out why the hell women would want these.
And the guys tried to explain to me that it was like those idiotic truck balls. Which made everything more confusing.
It wasnt until I went to bed and laid down that it dawned on me. You don't wear these balls under your clothes- but dangle them for "decoration."
See? I'm a moron.
I was trying all night to figure out why a female wanted to walk around with balls betwixt her legs.
I still don't get why a female would want ball accesories dangling off her other than a joke and to embarrass her husband in public- but at least now I understand they're for decoration....
Sunday, November 15, 2009
You're ugly because you're ugly
Dear woman at church today:You are not ugly because of your mullet of frizz.
You are not ugly because of your 20 inch thick glasses from the 80s.
You are not ugly because of the hairs on your chinny-chin-chins (all 4 of them).
You are not ugly because you let a blind and lazy man dig through the trash and dress you.
You are not ugly because you're a mouth breather and have a constant look of "derrr" on your face.
Oh no. You are ugly because of your actions.
You are ugly because when a little toddler girl in the pew across the aisle from you started to be, well, a toddler you sneered at her with such hatred. Toddlers aren't known for being able to sit quietly for longer than 2 seconds- let alone an hour long mass. A mass filled with a bunch of old men and women yapping- while we sit on hard, wooden, pews. What child can sit quietly through that?
So when she started to be a child and you snapped your head toward her and gave her the stink eye- and gave her parents the stink eye- you then became the ugliest person in the room.
If you snap a look at a child because she was being a child- and you, for a moment, couldn't hear the priest talk about god's word... how then, I wonder, will you be able to hear God's word outside of church when all of life's distractions come in?
Friday, November 13, 2009
Teddy's 1st birthday and haircut
My baby is officially 1 year old. And his baby hair- the hair he was born with is cut off (and in an envelope).sniff
Labels: Photos Videos
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
I'm doing lots of bullets these days...
I like hving boys- every day is new and exciting. If only Stephen were 3 years old... it wouldn't be so weird when he humps the air in the kitchen. Hehe.
Labels: Bullets
Thursday, November 05, 2009
I think I need to go to Walmart tonight after the kids go to bed to relax.
Relax. At Walmart.
You heard me.
I'm choosing Walmart over my kids. Something is seriously wrong with me.
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
H1N1 flu shot fuckfest!
This morning one of our friends calls Stephen and tells him that they're doing the H1N1 flu shot at this one street and that the line wasn't that long so lets go!So I threw some clothes on the kids and in the car- got lost at first (becuase my super smart gps system couldn't figure out how to get around a closed road).
So we got there around 9am.
Lets start the fuckfest!
There was a sort of ong line- no biggie- but as I'm taking the kids to the back of the line I'm passing lots of people wih their kids, great, some preggo women, great, and a crap ton of stupid college-aged fucktards.
What. The. Fuck.
We can't really pull this vaccine out of our asses so you'd think healthy young people would get their selfish asses out of the way to let those who need it get it.
Ok, so the college aged girls might've been pregnant. I mean they could've been in that "I don't look pregnant just fat" stage.
(I can say that without bing bitchy cause I've been through that stage 4 times- 2 of which I got something to show for it!).
So we're waiting in line and this older woman behind starts making small talk and tells me that it didn't start until 10am.
Great.
It's cold- the wind is blowing cold ass air all of us- I have no bottles for Teddy, no snacks or toys for Paul and we need to wait in this parking lot for over an hour.
Ron and Kathy- I love you both to death. But I hope that once little Daniel has popped out of Kathy's tummy you might start thinking "normally." hehe.
Telling us it started at 10 would've been valuable information to have.
So we're waiting there... in the cold... and I'm thinking how much shorter the line could be if the selfish douchebags weren't in it, and Paul sitting on the floor playing with a matchbox car I scrounged up for him out of the stroller- I wanted him to scoot closer so he was trying to get up while holding a car and my keys and the older woman behind him rushes to his side and says "can you get up sweetheart?!" all worried like.
Seriously lady? It's because of idiots like you who make it so the teachers cant use red pens because it's "too harsh" (boo fucking hoo). So I say firmly "he's fine."
So since then she decided to glare at me and show me how to really handle kids by rushing over to her granddaughter and saying "are you okay? What's wrong? You'll be ok!" and picking her up everytime her granddaughter started to cry. Oh and the little girl would cry whenever she wasn't being held- so what happened? The woman would say "can you stand up please, my back hurts" the little girl would scream and the woman would pick her up and say "it ok! Are you ok?"
If I were meaner I'd turn to her and say "just let her fucking cry! Which one is in charge here!?!?"
Although 10 more minutes of that and I might just have. I can shut my mouth until my breaking point. Sometimes.
So then the workers bring me paper work and no clipboard- so I'm trying to fill it out on the floor with Paul yanking on me and pushing the stroller around and Teddy screaming with tear stained cheeks and snot stained nose. Fun.
The line starts moving- yay! But then another worker comes up to me and asks for my ID. She checks my zip code and her sheet and then tells me our zip code isn't on the list so we can get it.
I am going to fucking kill someone.
We're home now. Vaccine-less.
But at least now I have something to blog about!
Monday, November 02, 2009
Bam! You're dead
Fuck you Roman Polanski and the rapist sympathizers around you.
And now that I'm older and "the mom" it's way better- cause I get the excuse of "I need to get some stuff ready for dinner... and then go inside by myself salt and pepper some meat and have a quick peice of chocolate. Mwahaha
I look a little crazy here but it was FAH-reezing!
Labels: Bullets
