Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Turning in my feminist membershipIt has recently becme apparent that am no longer aloud to call myself a feminist.
hat tip to Whoopie Goldberg for clarifying that it's okay if it's not "rape-rape"
For all these reasons and more the
Monday, September 28, 2009
Hind sight in 20/20, ohhh indeed it is....I wish I appreciated by Grandpa Z for what he was when he was alive.
Well, that's not entirely true. I appreciated him, and was fascinated by him- but tooo shy and scared to ask him questions. And was too much of an ADHD to concentrated long enough on his answers. And a teenager.
He taught me so much that I'm not sure he even knows he did.
My love for the simplicity of food I owe, in part, to him. He once brought us a lychee as a snack. I'll always remember the way his eyes were shining as we took them. He knew we'd love them. And we did. I still remember thinking how the lychee seed/pit was one of the most beautiful things ever. I still want to make a necklace out of them.
He was quiet, and I don't remember him saying more than 4 words. That or I just never paid attention.
But when he did speak he had a sense of humor rarely found today. I know that if he were still alive today we'd be laughing and smiling at each other.
I wish I would have stayed in the kitchen with him instead of running outside to play with everyone else.
If I didn't take for granted him being there I would've followed him everywhere. I'd follow him to the chicken coop, and as he gardened, and to the garage where he kept the Bocce game up on a shelf. I'd stay with him while he watched tennis, as waddled into the kitchen to check on whatever it was that was making the most delicious smell in the world.
And we'd sit and have a glass of buttermilk together.
And if he were alive today, he and Stephen have meaningful and grown up conversations about going to war. Maybe he'd show us all his World War II awesomeness.
Or he'd continue doing what he always did- not talk about it. That'd be ok too.
If he were still alive he'd bring me things from his garden- so excited and proud to share them- but in his own quiet way.
I'd give anything for a guava from his garden.
I wish I lost my shyness much earlier on in life.
But at least now I can make sure my kids know their grandparents better than I knew/know mine.
Fishing trips for them with my dad will be a must. So will baking Christmas cookies and Thanksgiving pies with my mom. Sitting on Stephen's dad's lap while he has a glass of red wine and watches the news. Being with Stephen's mom as she talks about Mom T and makes turkey soup.
I always got annoyed when my mom pushed us to be more social- I wish I took her advice.
My brain is stupidI've been writing a blog post in my head for like 2 days with out chance to sit down and actually blog it. Now that I have time actually putting it down in blog form isn't working.
Neither is my space bar. Stupid friggin laptop keyboard... grrr.....
yet another fascinating post brought to you by MEH!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
OMFG are you serious?! No really!I used to have my hair cut like this:
no that's not me, but I had my hair cut like that once
And I always loved that cut. It was cute on me and brought out my cheekbones and eyes.
Over time that cut grew out, and some crazy bitch ruined my hair when I wanted to get it cut like that again. She fucked it up so bad I had to cut my hair into a faux-hawk (which I loved too until it grew into that between stage).
Then I've been trying to grow it out ever since because Stephen has been wanting to see me with long hair 'cause he never has (except for videos and photos from when my hair was down to my butt).
But, unfortunately, the longer my hair grows the grosser and frizzier it gets. Even with trims and all.
I like my hair shorter and it looks better on me anyway.
So today I wanted to run down to this one salon close to our house.
I knew before going in there it was a big mistake. You know how sometimes you can just *tell* a salon is bad when you walk in? It's not one of those little places that surprise you- oh no, this was a place trying to be nice but it was just a step aside from Fantastic Sams.
So I go in and show the lady the photo above (I think it better to show a photo than to explain. Or so I thought.
She looked at it and said "okay!" and then asked if I wanted a shampoo or for her just to wet it down and cut. Since I aready washed my hair I said just wet and cut.
She barely wet it and went to town.
Tear jerking OMFG my hair! point 1. I have curly ass hair. I don't mean, pretty and nice curly hair like in commercials- I mean I have actual curly hair. Which mean if you comb through it with a small black comb when it's dry it's going to frizz out and break and you canNOT cut hair that's frizzed out and like that. Man, I swear I'm going to cry again.
But I didn't say anything. I don't know why! I think it's stupid that while I'm getting my hair cut by a "professional" hair stylist I say "can you wet my hair more please?" Does that make sense to anyone else?
So I let her do her thing. She got to a chunk of hair up top- like if you were going to pull my hair from the top- and goes "so what do you want me to do with this part?"
Um are you fucking KIDDING ME?!
You hold up a chunk of my frizzy ass hair- which YOU made frizzy- and ask me what I want to do with it?!
I am fucking flabbergasted! Why don't you cut it off, stick it up your ass, and get your stupid ass back to beauty school you moron.
She "finished" and handed me the mirror- NOTHING like the photo. A triangle of frizz if you will. So I go, "well umm, I wanted it more like the photo..." So she sighed an annoyed sigh and cut it the same way- just shorter. Which means it's now a fuck ton pouffier.
Stephen says it looks nice but he's always been a wonderful husband like that. :)
So next week I'm going to a salon suggested by Naturally Curly.com
So next time I want to cut my hair it will be only at one of those salons.
Until then I'm just gonna paint a box with pink sparkles and wear it.
ohhhh crapYesterday evening our neighbors across the street (not the crazy ones with Christmas decorations up until April) said their bolt on their backyard fence was broken off and heard someone jiggling the door to the house from the garage.
It was still light out.
So either someone was bold enough to try and break in their houes in broad day light; or it was some crazy old man who went into the wrong house.
If our neighborhoo does have a burglar then that's perfect! No seriously, cause I just watched the Surviving Disaster about home invasion.
I can't wait to practice what I learned! Then again the show they didn't have a toddler and a baby.... But if I ever get locked in a trunk, I'll know what to do. Or if I ever get zip ties put on me....
Man I love that show....
But back to my original thought... Shit we may have a burglar in our neighborhood.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
stupid FallDoes it look like I have time to spend more than 2 fucking hours a day raking and picking up leaves?
Stupid fucking trees....
Although yesterday when I was raking the backyard I was thinking that if I was part of the Duggar family we'd get this shit done in like 2 seconds.
I should make a Duggar family made of robot and bring them out when I needed them. Like for raking leaves and cleaning the crap I never have time to. Like the walls, the garage, and the basement, etc.
Of course then when the robot wars come I'll have a Duggar sized army of robots coming after me... Not good.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Nashville- yeeehaw!Stephen and I spent our 5th wedding anniversary in Nashville... with my parents... lol.
Yeah, we're smart. An entire wedding anniversary weekend sleeping in the same room as our 2 kids. Just tattoo moron on our foreheads now.
Anyhoo- here's some video and photos from our trip:
We stopped at Metropolis on the way to visit the giant Superman statue:
We went to the Melting Pot (just Stephen and I haha) for our anniversary:
We walked around Nashville
And stopped into Coyote Ugly
We went to the park and walked my sister Kathleen's dog- George:
And the rest of the time we hung out and goofed around with my crazy ass family.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Crap, what the hell was I going to blog about...?I thought about what I was going to blog about last night and now I can't remember.
That's what I get for going to bed after midnight. It wasn't my fault! There were all these orcs attacking us!
I'm sure the blog I was going to make wasn't all that important considering I can't remember what the hell it was about.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Our day filled with Kings, Queens, fair maidens, brave knights- and cheesecake on a stick!This years Ren Fst trip was by far the best.
Now the food at the Kansas City Ren Fest isn't as good as the one in Colorado. I don't know if they changed things everywhere or if Kansas City just said "ahhh fuck it," but in any case the food isn't as good.
And to me the Ren Fest is all about the food People walking around chomping on turkey legs (cause you know those birds are native to N. America- oh soooo Renaissancey!), and things on sticks. Everything tastes better on a stick! Cheesecake, steak, chicken, pickles, sausage.... mmmm
So as disapointed as I am that KC doesn't care about their quality of Ren Fest food- it was still the best one yet. All because the kids weren't whiney demons! That makes ANY situation just like with glittery gold dust!
They actually had a great time! Paul rode an elephant (twice) and loved it. He rode a pony and loved it. He hugged and kissed the crap out of some sheep.
side note- I'd like to thank Mickey Mouse Club House for helping my kids love elephants and sheep.
He was nice and polite to people. I'm almost certain he was possessed....
He even sat still and got his face painted! That, to us, was HUGE! I mean you always think of your child's first steps, and all that crap- but you never think about the first time they sit still and get their face painted.
Ok enough yapping, I'll let the pictures do all the talking:
Paul riding a pony. You can't tell in this photo but he was saying "neigh!" and "giddy up!"
omg! He was faaaaaaaaaabulous!
nap time at the ren fest
Hello lovely unicorn. I shall name you... Betwalda!
he apparently was very sorry for having slayed the dragon.
Paul seriously loves im some fountains
Paul meeting the princesses
Wooohooo! Those Ren Fest
...I still can't believe he got his face painted...
squee! A fairie!
My husband... the King...
-I'm just sooo lovely with my long golden locks
Paul sure does love those sheep....
don't tell me it's that way fairie bitch! It's this way!
Ye olde pickle stand
Friday, September 11, 2009
Bullets! Ka-Pew! ka-Pew!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Beatles Rock Band...SQUEEEE!!!!
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
Listen up assholesAs we all know (I say all, since if you read my tiny profile thing to the right there you'd know) my husband is a conservative.
He is not an extreme. He's middle of the road and leans to the right.
But of course according to some jerk-fuck douche bag assholes out there he thinks he's above everyone else of "lower class"
uhhh ok. I guess he took complete pity on me. Marrying someone who grew up in one of the poorest peice of crap destitute neighborhoods in Southern CA. Oh wait! I know! He did it to look good! You know to say he understands "the people." That's it. What these jerks don't know, but yet will assume, is that he didn't grow up with a silver spoon in his mouth. Fuck, he was lucky to have spoons. Ok assholes, you guessed it- conservative doesn't equal rich! And rich doesn't equal "holier than thou."
If anyone's "holier than thou" it's the people who think their shit smells like roses because they think they're more compassionate than you. What a joke.
And Stephen makes jokes... a lot. He will joke about anyone and everyone. Including himself.
So if you can't tell a joke when it's told; if you honestly think he's that much of a tool that he really can't stand certain people (including white republicans) than you are the dumbest fucking r-tard out there, and need to pull that giant stick out of your ass.
to clear things up for those not in the know- Stephen does not make racists jokes and such. And in fact gets extremely uncomfortable when people make insane racist jokes and such.
Or maybe it's that he completely shields me from how hereally is.
You know- his wife. The person he tells everything to. The person he's had 2 kids with. The person he goes to bed at night with. The person who's there when he wakes up every morning. The person who disagrees with him on most political opinions yet listens with open ears to him state his side and opinions. The one who is lucky enough to have him for a husband as he will listen to me vent whenever I have one of those "man republicans are getting on my nerves today!" days.
Maybe not what's wrong here is *him*- but you. You who jumped into assumptions about him that are not at all true.
What makes me the saddest is that he truly and honestly thought one of you was his "friend."
He thought that you were nice enough to have decent discussions with him- even on differing opinions.
Maybe you should've said something back then. Let us know where we stand.
Actually, that's not true. What hurts *the* most is that he spent over a year away from home in a war zone with you. He'd always write me and tell me what a great guy you were. How you and he would have great discussions about things and how it was equally respectful. You were an Army buddy and brother. But now we find you didn't like him this whole time. We find you thought these insane things about him all the while. That just hurts me, personally.
It saddens me that he never once made assumptions about you for being a Liberal, yet you're willing to throw away a friendship because of your assumptions about conservatives.
That's really sad and pathetic.
side note- this was a completely personal note. I tend to charge like a bull when it comes to defending my husband
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
How to lose weight AND money!....Eating healthy sucks.
Is it any wonder that people who shop at Walmart are usually ginormous? Because nearly everything there is a friggin dollar!
I mean, would you rather spend 2$ on 500 liters of Coke, or 500$ on half a banana?
We all know organic is better for you (yes it is Stephen! Hush!) but who in their right mind is going to pay nearly double the cost of "regular" fruits and veggies for organic ones?
I have 2 small kids still in diapers. I don't want them crapping all over the floor in a 1 room apartment just so we can eat organically.
Ok, before you ask- no we aren't scarfing down McDonalds chased by Little Debbies.
We eat fairly healthy- we're just not as healthy as we could be, and it's all due to the fact that I believe people who work in "healthier" food companies are more money-grubbing than most.
If they really wanted people to be healthy then they wouldn't sell the food at such high costs. I'm not one of the elite few who can afford not only to eat healthy, but sit in a mansion doing so.
I'm determined to eat healthier (see last post) but not at the risk of putting my family in debt.
So I'm doing simple things- cutting out soda, cutting back on sugar, etc.
Sunday, September 06, 2009
MILF training commense!My body is, to put it bluntly, pretty fucked up.
For a period in my life from just out of high school until I had kids I was battling an eating disorder.
I didn't think I was- I thought, like so many others, that if I was skinnier than you I was healthier than you.
I mean it makes sense- fat people were the ones eating nasty crap like McDonalds and wolfing down whole cakes in a single bite, right?
But the truth of the matter was that for all those years I was living off of tater tots, chocolate and soy burgers.
I felt good about myself- to the point of being a total snotty brat about it- because pants with an elastic waist were loose on me.
But my body was so out of wack it was ridiculous.
So when I got pregnant with Paul (3rd pregnancy, and the 1st that stuck) and started eating actual food (not living off of candy bars and such) my body completely flipped out.
So, here I am- Paul is nearly 3 and I've just recently bought Jillian Michael's metoblism book.
It all makes sense.
The trouble is having enough will power to stick to it. My body has lived on crap for so long that not letting into those cravings will be murder.
It's not going to be as bad as getting off heroin, I'm guessing, although you may need to tie me down to the bed so I don't dive head first into a mountain of Tootsie Rolls.
I'm still reading the book- so I'm just guessing that no chocolate is aloud. We'll see.
She couldn't be that cruel? Could she?
But I know that once I clean my body and get used to it being healthy after it not ever having been, things will change.
So I'm going to blog about my ups and downs and frustrations reaching my goal of being healthy.
Not skinny mind you- healthy.
My body as never been healthy- and at 30 years old I figured now is a good a time as any.
Tuesday night dorkery will the hardest. I mean, it's pretty much required that if you sit around a table and play D&D you have a soda in one hand and Cheetos in the other.
We shall see....
Saturday, September 05, 2009
If I were dying...I tend to think about death a lot. Not that I'm morbid or some sulky brat who thinks her life sucks.
But I think a funeral can be as beautiful as a wedding.
I'm always listening to songs and debating whether or not it would be the best one for *the* song at my funeral.
So far I've narrowed my choices down to Shine On by Jet, or Little Wonders by Rob Thomas. Then again I love When I Get Where I'm Going by Brad Paisley and Dolly Parton....
Anyway, back to my original thought.
I think that if I were dying from an illness I'm not sure I would tell anyone. Other than of course Stephen.
It isn't that I wouldn't appreciate the sympathy, but I'm not sure I would handle false sympathy well.
I wouldn't handle all the people who dislike me crawling out of the woodwork to suddenly be friend. As though they had to clear *their* conscience before I died.
I'm sure they would be sorry I had an illness or some such- I think most people would have a hint of compassion for that.
I guess I'd rather keep it to myself so I'd know who my real friends were, because when you're dying, everyone seems to be your friend.
But, seeing as how I'm the type of person who can't ever shut up about anything- I'd probably blog all about it.
No, I am not blogging about it right now. I don't have some illness. I'm not dying (not yet anyway).
I'll probably, hopefully, never have to write a blog like that. Hopefully I'll be blogging senile old ramblings from the nursing home (or the basement of one of my kids' houses).
There's a fine line between valuing your privacy and needing support. No matter how fake it is.
I usually want to stay on the privacy side, but the support side is glittery! How can I not run over there every now and then?
Thursday, September 03, 2009
tomorrow...I have my 5th surgery. Getting my wisdom teeth pulled...
I've been through 4 other surgeries (3 of which were child related) so you think I wouldn't be nervous. And it's not like I need to stay over night or anything. It's a quick in and out proceedure.
And I actually like surgeries. But I stillget nervous.
Maybe I'm nervous because I'm a SAHM- I uphold the kids' schedules and... well everything pertaining to "family" life.
And for one day Stephen has to be a SAHD, and also take care of me.
Not that he can't do it. Not that he isn't willing to. He's a great husband and father- we are a parenting unit and he always has my back, and I his.
I guess it's difficult for someone like me, who likes to know everything, to be able to sit back and let some one else take control.
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
Time for a red convertable and a 20 year old male underwear model!Ever since Stephen and I decided not to adopt something in me clicked and I went into a sort of mid-life crisis mode.
Ok, no it's nowhere near as bad as you think.
I mean, I'm not running out on my kids (I may joke that I'm going to lock them in closets and such but those are jus jkes:)). I'm not having an affair with some kid who just got out of high school. And I'm not having ridiculous surgeries to lift and pull things. Even though all of a sudden I have lines around my eyes. Where the fuck did those come from?!
BUT- I did start to get depressed that all my life I've always assumed I would do certain things.
Adopt a child.
Travel the globe.
Get up and drive to a state I've never been to.
Visit the biggest ball of twine.
But I've always been too scared and admittedly lazy to do anything like that.
And ever since we decided not to adopt I realized I haven't done anything else I wanted to do.
Not that I can't do most of that other stuff later.
I just wish I did it back then- while the ideas were still fresh and new. When I knew I was able to.
However, I'm looking forward to travelling with Stephen after the kids are grown and Stephen is retired. The kids (and grandkids) we'll love to get postcards from us from India, Morrocco, Italy... etc.
I just need to keep these goals in mind so I'm not laying on my death bed wishing I had ore time to do what I wanted.
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
If nothing else......post photos and video!