Thursday, August 27, 2009
Because I'm a sappy housewife who loves her husband
I'm sitting here in my cute, and new, little cotton dress (brown, blue and pink plaid) I bought at WalMart (ugh I know!) watching Alton Brown teach me how to slice, chop, and pare.I've spent most of the day with either one or both of my boys.
I'm tired, and most days my back hurts and though I have several pairs and deliciously gorgeous heels I choose to wear flip-flops on a daily basis.
I'm very much a feminist (debate that if you will, but SAHM moms can most definately be feminists) but that doesn't mean I can't sing my husband's praises every now and then.
I believe in giving credit where credit is due and that a marriage should be full of respect from both people.
So here we go.
I'm very lucky. He cares for me in a way that isnt shown every day. At least it's not seen by me every day. But after a day of cleaning toddler poop off the walls it's sometimes hard to.
He kisses my hand (and occasionally grabs my boobies) when he thinks I'm sleeping. Well- I was sleeping but I wake up too easily.
He knows when I'm going from irritated to angry and lets me squeeze his hand as hard as I can to help me equilize. And sends me to my room if I need a moment to myself to collect myself.
He spends hours searching for the perfect, authentic Italian restaurant in our city to take me to. And then takes me to see Harry Potter (who's also a huge crush- mmm wizards:))
He tries to buy me the perfect present each gift giving holiday. Like my beautiful dark brown leathery "cook book." Where I can write my recipes in- my own and those from my beautiful and wonderful family. Because he understands how important food is to me as well as keeping my family and the memories of my families' kitchen close to my heart. One day I'll give it to my kids- hopefully along with my desire and joy of feeding the people I love the most.
He doesn't think I'm crazy. Ok... so he does, but he thinks my "quirks" are cute and helps me to nuetralize the super crazy.
Let's face it- I could go on for hours at all he does.
Ok, sure- he's not perfect, and I do not always look at him with batting eyelashes. And he doesn't think of me every second of the day. God no!
But I'm feeling lovey dovey and if it weren't so late I'd bake him some peanutbutter cookies....
I guess we'll just have to cuddle on the couch instead.
This one's for te children... everyone sing!....
My biological clock is pounding in my ears.Yes- I have 2 kids, the youngest one is only 10 months old.
But he's just so big! His fangs are coming in! And Paul will be celebrating his 3rd birthday in less than 4 months.
So all day I've been all emotional about kid related issues.
Thinking about an aquintance who has the ingredients to become an Andrea Yates.
Stephen and I off and on since we met have had discussions about adoption. After much thought and discussion we agreed it wouldn't be right for us and our family.
It hurts, not only for the wanting to have another baby, but because there are children who need a home. But to adopt a child to "save" him/her- all adoption sites say- is a bad idea and actually ultimately selfish. I wouldn' adopt a child for the sole purpose to save him/her because that automatically puts a rift between the adopted child and the rest of the family- I think.
It's just hard because it's something I've thought about doing ever since I was little.
But I also wanted to be Dolly Parton and we all know that'll never happen!
So, I'm emotional today but I am happy and accepting of the life and family I have now. Everything happens for a reason. :)
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Search results
People search for the weirdest things... and then somehow come across my blog, lol.A few highlights:
Well- that's something. Usually I get a lot of weird sex position searaches
oh geez
I'm getting my wisdome teeth pulled, finally, in the beginning of September.I feel faint.
Ok, I'm really odd fr oh so many reasons- but I really like having surgeries. I like going under. I mean lots of people don't like it cause that's part of their life that they'll never know and remember.
I dunno- I like it. I like falling asleep at the drop of a hat and when I wake up something has been removed from my body.
I was super nervous the first time I went under. I had to get a dnc to remove a misarried baby from my womb- but then all of a sudden I woke up and they wee finished! TaDa! It was awesome!
Of course it helps to have doctors you trust. I mean if the gyno I had that treated me like a peice of meat who was going to do a surgery on me I'd be a little nervous.
But so far all 4 surgeries (2 totally under and 2 c-sections) I've had have been lovely.
Still- there's something about the dentist that just screams nervous.
Sigh- wish me luck- I'll be sure and take photos!
Monday, August 24, 2009
Stupid Twilight....
As several of you know most of my girlfriends read Twilight and just squeeled with delight over it and begged me to read it- say it was oh so lovely and wonderful.Let me just stop here and say I hate the vampire crowd and always have. Those girls I went to highschool with who dyed their hair black, wore all black, and wore black lipstick. They huddled in corners and whined about how depressing their life as a 15 year old was.
Even then I rolled my eyes. I hate whiners and those who display a false sense of despair.
So after forever and a day of resisting I finally bought it. I don't know how I managed to make it through the first few chapters without gouging my eyes out with a spoon. I wanted to punch Stephanie Meyer in the face- and hard.
But I'm the type of person who once I start watching a movie or reading a book I have to finish it. I just do.
So I realized one day that- though I was never a vampire type chick- I'd have to read this book as though I was 15 again.
And as that 15 year old little girl- I can honestly say I could have probably written this. Not that I'm grammatically smart by any means (obviously lol)- but truth be told I totally had those fantasies.
The boy you like saves you from death somehow. Saves you from being gang raped brutally. Gives you commands and all you can do is follow them....
I'm reading this book as the same girl who still squeels with delight every time Anne and Gilbert run into each other. I'm reading this as the same girl who once thought that if I could just go to a New Kids on the Block concert Jordan Knight will see me and instantly fall madly in love with me. I'm reading this as the same girl who still to this day smiles and giggles and in her mind says "ok!" whenever Dave Matthews sings "hike up your skirt a little more."
I refuse to say I like this book. Because it's true that I don't. It's sappy and annoying and makes me roll my eyes and want to gouge them out.
But the part of me that's the girly romantic who could focus on nothing but her husband's smile the day she met him and knew they were going to get married wants to say she likes this book.
Kind of.
Sort of.
I am going to get sooo much flack for this, haha
Friday, August 21, 2009
bullets- kapew!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Deleted- clickety click!
this post has beein deleted because I realized I was getting too into stuff that I promised I wouldn't.So, there you have it.
For the first time ever- I'm shutting my mouth. Shocking. Unbelievabley shocking
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
I'm pretty sure there's Youtube video of me yelling at Paul now
Muggy, hot ass heat and downtown anywhere does not mix. At all.I was going to take the boys to the Plaza to walk around and take photos o the bazzilions of fountains there.
Not only does my GPS not have any listings for "The Plaza" (because I don't know it's really called), but I don't know what street any of the shops are on. So Ifigured I'll just drive downtown and take some nice architectural photos since if you walk around downtown Kansas City and look up you'll see some gorgeous architecture.
I don't get much a chance to head down town (mainly because of laziness) so I packed up both kids, the camera, a bottle, the tripod, the double stroller, etc and headed out.
I parked near the Episcopal cathedral (or "the cathedral" as it's known to Stephen's family) and headed out.
Ok, stepping out of the car it was apparent we were going to die from melting.
Dry heat I can take- I can walk through the desert for a much longer time. But this muggy heat kills me. I figured we'd stop somewhere and grab some water, taking photos along the way, etc.
I used to refuse to drive and used to walk *every*where. Seriously- everywhere. But that was well over 5 years, and double the ass size ago.
I was all that annoyed yet- just more concerned for the boys, cause it is hoooooootttttttt out.
I find a little icecream shop- of course it's up like 10 stairs and this double stroller does NOT turn at all hardly. Getting it upstairs is pretty much impossible.
That annoys me. It's all downtown areas- they hate people in wheelchairs and kids in strollers. It almost makes me feel discriminated against.
So now I'm getting mad cause it's beyond hot and I need to get these boys some AC and water and I don't want to go into a regular, sit down restaurant, and I want to be able to not have to lug this stroller up a flight of stairs.
finally I find this little "Italian" place (I say that while rolling my eyes cause Italian restaurants are a dime a dozen).
We walk in and there are friggin stairs going up to the counter. Great. Ok so there are 2 stairs- no big deal, sort of.
I drag the stroller up the stairs and grab an apple juice and a water out of the fridge and wait in line to pay for this stuff while melting and wait for the idiot behind the counter to stop flirting with the chick in front of me so I can give my kids some water.
We go sit down and I pop a bottle in Teddy's mouth and give Paul his apple juice. Like any normal 3 year old he wants to tip the bottle up to drink and drink from the straw at the same time.
Sigh. Finally I take the straw away....
I'm trying to hold up Teddy's bottle while he's trying to wiggle around and see Paul who's behind him. Meanwhile Paul is trying to grab my phone and is thisclose to spilling his juice. So I firmly tell Paul "don't touch!" So of course he screeches and lunges for my phone- thus spilling his juice all over the damn floor.
OMFG.
And this is where the Youtube would begin.
"I TOLD you to NOT touch! See! This is what happens when you don't listen to mama and you touch stuff! Dang it Paul!"
And while the apple juice bottle is rolling on the floor, spilling out juice at it goes, Paul is screaming, and Teddy has dropped his bottle and is now pulling down the plastic red and white checkered table cloth. Which btw my camera and water bottle is on top of.
OMFG I'm going to beat these children I swear.
I throw everything in the stroller and head out- loudly commenting about how some people can't walk upstairs- leaving the huge puddle of apple juice on the floor.
But in my defense NO one came over to help- the people working there the whole time were sitting around with thumbs up their asses.
Oh I was livid!
Long story short- we left at 3:30 and got home at 5:30 and all we did was spill apple juice on the floor.
Sigh. So if you find Youtube video of this crazy bitchy mom just losing it and yelling at her poor sweet child... you don't have any kids obviously. Hahaha.
Just remember the words of Louis CK- "you horrible child what did you do to that poor woman?!" mwahaha.
Latest photo shoot-a-roo
This passed Saturday our friend Ron married his woman, Kathy in a sweet outdoor/home wedding.Here are a few photos of the day:
Monday, August 10, 2009
I'm going to throw up... per se.
I'm in the middle of reading way too many books. I'm finally reading Watchmen and love it so far. The only problem is that when reading Rorschach it reminds me of those idiot "I'm so deep and dark" college students. Rorschach is anything but that, but those college students who want to be that almost ruin him. Luckily I've zoned that out and am now reading it correctly.I'm also reading some more Knights of the Dinner Table comics. I love those- they crack me the fuck up. It's a good, light read I can put down and come back to at any time with no problems.
And... yesterday I decided to take the advice of every female I know- ok so 3 of them- and pick up Twilight.
It was by far one of the most degrading moments of my life. Walking upstairs to the teen section in a crowded Barnes and Noble and putting my hands on that- and then walking down stairs and across the store to the registers to buy it.
I thought, "ok, I'll give it a chance. I mean if all these girls like it maybe there's something to it."
I'm only on the 3rd page and I want to chuck it out the window.
I could go on and on- but I think South Park described these books perfectly.
I started this damn train wreck of a book and I'm going to finish it for the principle of it.
But my god this is like horrific high school poetry.
If you don't see me ever again I've puked myself from the inside out.
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
Obsolete!
Let me start off by saying that I'm a liberal married to a conservative. We have friends and family on both sides of things. Some towards the middle, some further out.I hate discussing politics and do not get involved. It makes me anxious and nervous and makes me want to say "can't we all just get along?"
Keep that in mind.
There's been lots of discussion about health care lately- not just in the news but around the circle of people I know.
And though part of me- the very socially liberal part of me- wants to say yes! Free health care for everyone! I believe we should make a few personal sacrifices if it helps the greater good of all.
That's why I never whine about taxes because who are we to say that this person should get money ad this person shouldn't for research and stuff.
Ok ok ok- I admitted it- I'm idealistic and that thought is just plain stupid. But it really is how I feel.
Stop laughing at me....
Ok back to healthcare.
So then last night before bed I did my normal routine- I peed, took my pills and rinsed my mouth with ACT.
My pills.
I think I've mentioned them quite a few times here. My crazy lady meds. The meds I take to help me balance things in my head so I can react to things more, uhh, normally. Help me not black out in anger- like I used to before the pills.
I don't take them because it's easier and cheaper than therapy- it's not like I pop a pill and am good! Wahoo! I have to work with them.
But I need them. These are a need for me.
Now, maybe I'm being paranoid, but as I was taking them last night it hit me that if we go to the new health care system- would I get them so easily? Would I still be aloud to take them?
I know it's retarded- but I got this vision in my head of that one Twilight Zone where the librarian is standing in a court of sorts and this guy is telling him he's "obsolete."
And now I'm paranoid that my need for the pills will one day be dubbed obsolete.
And then I'll go crazy because my body and is used to having the pills for one thing. And then I'll be on the news for beating someone to death cause they cut me off while getting on the freeway or something. And then I'll be sentanced to death.
And... ok so maybe that's a bit much.
I just really need to be able to take my pills.
Saturday, August 01, 2009
In THIS high school- I'm totally awesome
Thanks to the likes of Facebook I've gotten in contact people I kind of/sort of knew in high school.Back then certain people were nice to me because they kind of had to be. All the people I hung out with after school and such were from church.
You have an obligation as Christians to be nice to the, uh, less fortunate.
Oh sure, most of you say there's nothing wrong with that- and there is nothing wrong with it. Except for the fact back then these people couldn't hide their disgust for and bitchiness towards me.
It was forced kindness.
I knew it was from the way they rolled their eyes and crinkled their noses when I walked up to them.
They thought I was too stupid, immature and gullible to notice.
Naw, I noticed. But fake friends are better than no friends. Right? Maybe....
Ok, so I hardly washed my hair or brushed my teeth and did weird things (that I still don't consider weird).
Everywhere you go at that age has cliques.
I was in a clique by myself. The "say the wrong thing at the wrong time, stunk a bit, family was poor, had frizzy hair and holes in my clothes" clique.
The good news is that everyone has bad times in high school. It's a right of passage into adulthood.
Thankfully I learned that brushing my teeth every day is pretty important. I've learned to control my frizz (for the most part).
And I've found friends that laugh at my jokes and actually like me- dorky loser and all.
They don't pretend to think my weirdness is just my "uhh, uniqueness."
Because we've all be there. We'e all had people look at us like we're the slime of the Earth. And not totally awesome like they were.
I've come to realize in my adulthood that was always totally awesome. I've always been (kind of) funny and I've always been a good friend.
But thanks to maturitty and facebook I can find these old friends and actually be their friend.
Most everyone changes as they grow up, and I'm excited to be friends with these people again the way it always should've been.
