Friday, July 24, 2009
Bitch, please!I took Paul to an art class today at Gymboree- lots of fun, he loved it blah blah blah- but enough about him (heh!).
I was talking to another mom and how I got the boys on the same schedule, etc- and this OTHE mom/grandma (I don't know, she was old and looked too dried up to have kids) was making snarky comments about how kids usually just make their own schedules. So I chimed in with my belief that when a baby enters your family you don't change your entire family to adapt one infant- you help the infant adapt to your family.
Then that conversation led to how I was alone with Paul was Stephen was deployed. And the other, snarky dried up old bat asked "where was he again?" So I answered "he was deployed to Iraq."
And she goes "Oh, that would be hard... I guess."
Like she just said that but didn't mean it.
Bitch please! You honestly think raising an infant on your own while worrying if your husband's going to be blown to peices by a mordor isn't hard?
It's probably because cranky old cows like you would never be able to handle it and you're just jealous of my total awesomeness!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
I'm slow but better late than neverIt's a Love Fest!
So I complain a lot- but in thi post I'm supposed to say something nice and sweet and lovey dovey to 20 different people.
Letting the spirit of Paula Abdul run through my veins
1) You're a better person than you give yourself credit for.
2) I would be lost with out you
3) You're fucking hilarious
4) I wish I had your ability to see the good in everyone
5) Your smile and laugh is infectious and it's no wonder everyone who meets you loves you.
6) You're like a wonderful pinapple!
7) Thank you for your patience
8) You are amazingly talented and want to put a peice of your art in my home.
9) I am beyond happy that you recently found your strength and let yourself be happy.
10) You're strong in your convictions and I admire that
11) You are so friggin cute!
12) Your new found outlook on life is refreshing and wonderful
13) You're better looking than you give yourself credit for
14) You are the hottest female I've ever met.
15) You have the most beautiful smile of anyone- ever.
16) Thank you for being honest with me
17) you're comforting
18) I wish I had your bravery
19) You're totally my brother from another mother
20) There's not one second of one day that I'm not completely happy we met.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
I'm not pregnant, but if I were I'd be having a strokeSometimes you hit a rough patch in your financial life.
This week has been a tough one. This week Stephen and I sweated bullets hoping that one check didn't go through so another one could.
This news might be shocking to so many of you since my husband is a white conservative. I mean, why- you may ask- doesn't he go to the back yard and pull money from the white man tree of infinate money? I'll tell you why- he took a risk and married someone with Mexican and Cherokee blood. Our tree dried up long ago.
So there's a huge cloud of "we just need to make it until Friday" hanging over our heads right now.
On top of that- see, every time it's the worst time for us to have a kid is when I get knocked up. And when timing is good I miscarry.
My first pregnancy was perfect- we were still living on Fort Carson- I was surrounded by friends, and living in Military housing, and had an OB/GYN whom I adored (he's still the best dr I've ever had). But that turned out to be a blighted ovum and it tested our strength. Because of it though we came out to be a stronger couple.
The second pregnancy I would've had the baby before Stephen deployed. But that didn't pan out either. Probably because I was in the mind set of "I want to get pregnant now so you can be here for the birth!"
A few months later I got pegnant with Paul- he'd be born in the beginning of the deployment, and then I'd be raising an infant pretty much alone. Nowhere near Military housing and not near anyone who knew Georgia has an Army post. However my sister lived a few apartment buildings down from me- I can't tell you how thankful I was to have her close.
So these passed few days I started to feel a little queasy at odd times. I usually have a stomach like a rock- even when I think "omg I am sooo going to throw up" I don't.
I was washing dishes and feeling ill and seperately thinking about our financial worries. One thought led to another and then I thought about how it would be a terrible time to get pregnant. But seeing as how I always get knocked up at the worst times I quickly dug around under my bathroom sink and found the pregnancy test down there.
A very clear negative. Phew.
But in those moments before I knew all these thoughts just raced through my head.
I'm very much pro-life (a liberal who's pro-life!? I'm like Big Foot!) and would never even consider having an abortion.
But in that moment, for the briefest of moments, I did. I thought that if I did we wouldn't have as much a financial worry looming over our heads. Baby's are expensive- we don't have 50$ let alone 10,000$+ for just the delivery.
But I also know that if I did that- it would destroy me in a way I'd never be able to describe. And that would hang over our marriage like a huge storm cloud that would never go away.
We both know that if I were pregnant we'd deal with it. A child is always welcome. And though it's never the best time to be pregnant it always turns out so much better in the end. We have 2 awesome and smart boys and I wonder why I worried then.
But- I'm not pregnant- so I'll just enjoy the 2 I have right now.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Getting my gay on!I'm a member of one of those Meet-Up groups for ladies in my area.
Next event- Missie B's!
OMG- I can't even tell you how excited I am!
Stephen and I would always pass it when we drove to our friend Ron's house to get our D&D on. And I'd always say "OMG! we have GOT to go there one day! That looks like so much fun!"
And Stephen would pretend like he didn't hear me- I mean we all know how super manly Stephen is!
Shhh! Control your laughter!
It's a few weeks away so details and photos will come then!
OMG what am I going to wear?!.... what DO you wear to a gay club that has drag shows?
Sunday, July 19, 2009
a crap ton of photos and videosOur trip to Lake Okoboji:
Paul playing the piano with my dad:
Teddy crawling around:
Paul giving Minnie Mouse kisses:
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Same body, different brainLike every other female that ever walked the planet EVER there is crap about my own body that I don't like.
And some days I get upset and cry a huge bucketful of woe is me "I used o be skinnies."
And then there are other days when Stephen switches my crazy lady brain with that of a normal woman's while I sleep and I think to myself that I'm completely normal.
The majority of females my age don't look like some anorexic twig with fake ass boobs.
And why would I want that body? It's gross?
I can do this:
and it's perfectly ok.
I might not feel this way tomorrow, so I better enjoy this moment of self love while I can.
Monday, July 06, 2009
Oooh! Red Eye!I was going to make this long drawn out post about Fox News and how they're not as "fair and balanced" as they say they are becausefor decades upon decades reporting the "conservative" and "middle of America" side of things has been the norm and it's just recently in the grand scheme of things that the balance has shifted to more liberal views. So if Fox News is "balanced" by yapping the conservative side in this day and age when it's unpopular to do so- is that balanced, or is it a bunch of old fuddy duddies hrrmphing about people talking about gay rights on TV all the time.
And letting the conservative speak for hours on end then letting the liberal speak for a minute before saying "ok thanks! Time's up!" isn't really hearing both sides.
So shut up Fox News and stop pretending.
I was going to make a post about that but I'm tired and have a head ache.
Oh but I really like Red Eye. That's a great show. Hehe.
And with all that said- no, I'm not for one side being above the other, and crap like that. I really am for equality- I'm just saying you can't say you're balanced and then not be. It's stupid.
It almost makes me want to not let my kids watch the news- cause they're not going to get the news by watching it.
When there's a truly middle of the road balanced, no adgenda, news source, I'll be happy.
Thursday, July 02, 2009
I could put it all on Twitter...but I'll put it here I suppose...
We're taking them to Lake Okoboji- where Stephen's family has been going to every summer since, like, the beginning of his family.
It was either the dream or Stephen was butt raping me in my sleep again....
Although he has been crawling for about a month now.
I am just sick of carrying his lazy little baby butt around in that damn car seat.
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Hooray for BenGay!So I've been having trouble lately making some girl friends.
Ok, I have trouble making friends period. If they're into the same sort of crap I am- that's great, but we just don't click.
And then I try and find mommy friends but they're all boring and annoying (heh).
And all of my blogging bitches live in different states.
So most of the time I stuck here with the kids with no time for myself, etc.
So (my god I say "so" a lot) one night I go crying to Stephen because what SAHM doesn't work 24/7 and get to the point of blubbering crying? After that I decided to look again on MeetUp.com to find a group to hang out with.
When I'd looked before I was trying to find mommy groups. Bad idea.
I needed to find something for me not my kids with me tagging along. So I went to social groups and found a particular one.
I knew from the getgo they'd be awesome. So I joined and signed up for the middle of the week "Chat and Chew."
I got there and immedietly felt a connection and was like "awesome, I found some friends!"
About 15 or so of us showed up (but the group has 150+ members) and a few were my age, a few older. Some ladies widowed, some divorced, some never married, some married, etc.
The founder and one of her friends were 2 older ladies and you'd think I wouldn't really get along with them. I mean when I mentioned I played D&D I was met with blank stares. When I said we should have a Wii party one said she didn't want anything too "complicated." hehe.
But these were 2 of the funniest, most awesome, wittiest gals on the planet.
I can't make friends with people my own age who have common interests, but I can find kindred spirits in 2 sassy older women?
Pffft- I'm not complaining. I'd rather see them once a month and laugh my ass off then... well on the other hand I was just staying home- so yay!
The ladies (2 of them):