Friday, February 29, 2008
P is for Park
We took Hulk-Man to this awesome park yesterday. They have giant elephants, penguins, and kangaroos!Ok, admittedly (I know, I can't spell...) I thought it was way more awesome than Hulk-Man but he still had a good time:
Why yes that sounds like a blast crawling up your vagina giant kangaroo!
I don't think Hulk-Man's too sure of this whole riding on a whale thing...
Hulk-Man for President! Waving to the public, kissing the babies, handing out candy...
Little does he know the giant penguin behind him is plotting to take over the world...
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
I like big butts and I cannot lie....
Ever since Steve moved into the house everything seems sexual to most of the girls. Well, and Steve.Even Mer told us of a story about a guy she once dated...
"He was THIS big!" she boasted.
Steve shakes his ass in front of us every chance he gets. Which is a lot mind you.
But the best was when he decided to take a sponge bath in the kitchen...
And Dixie just happened to walk in...
Sheri is still around. She only comes out at night but she's loads of fun when she does surface!
But wait- are SuZan's loins burning?
Naw, but I am on fire.
Thank goodness the firemen came out (again) to extinguish the fire.
But with all this sexual tension, the fires, Katy being crazy and thinking a flour sack is a baby....
I don't think any of us noticed the tiny bit of extra weight Mama Duck put on...
...in her belly.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
P'choo P'choo!
Being a little crazy is better than being a total fucking nutcase right?
Some of you may know his blog as it's pretty well known. I only met him for 5 minutes but he seemed nice enough. If he were just another blogger I'd think he was wonderful. But he's dating my darling neice now. I adore my neice and am extremely protective of her. So we'll see.
But, I like that she's dating a fellow blogger- that's sure to win him some points with me, mwahahaha.
Labels: Bullets
Friday, February 22, 2008
Oh boy, here we go.
Stink-Butt is sick.I mean he threw up all last night.
And Hulk-Man is getting all stuffy and cranky.
I declare myself "not getting sick until my boys are better."
Hell yes I can do that- I'm the mama. We defy rules of physics.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
I got in T-R-O-U-B-L-E
Before I get into what I did to get me in trouble let me give you some background.I was with this guy- I thought we'd get married.
He was an ass.
Emotionally abusive and a cheating manipulative fucktard.
Because of him I have issues with trust.
Fastfoward to me and Stink-Butt.
It took me a while (and one deployment) to not feel the need / urge to go around and look at Stink-Butt's computer history and be suspicious of him.
I have no need. I know that.
But yesterday all those old feeling came rushing back in and I went on a rampage. I checked his Myspace account and all those things. Finding stuff that wasn't there and exploded at him when he walked through the door.
Yeah, forget the fact that I know all his passwords and such. No, I was convinced he was hiding something from me on his Myspace page.
So- I got into a bit of trouble.
Isn't it amazing how one bad relationship can sour every one after?
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
It's all about the money
Bullet points!even though his grandpa has enough Cherokee in him to live on a reservation and his grandma has enough Mexican in her to be a wetback.
But the eyes alone say "cute celebrity baby," so I think I may hold out for a bit more. :D
Labels: Bullets
Monday, February 18, 2008
Prepare the ovaries for battle!
Sunday, February 17, 2008
The Devil made me post this
Stink-Butt made me watch the funniest fucking movie ever. It was awesome.Not because it was well made and the jokes were laughable. No- because of it's total retardedness.
A serious (er made for TV) film entitled Mazes and Monsters. All about the evils and dangers of playing games like D&D
I'm not sure these people have ever played, or sat in on a game- because if they did they'd be there for 2 (maybe even 1) seconds and get up and leaving saying "yeah, no fucking way are these people Satanists or gonna harm anything...."
But Stink-Butt and I were intrigued, we had to Wiki more about how people thought it was all Devil's work and found this.
Uh... yeah.
I'm more worried about the freaks that believe this is all "bad" and "wrong" than I am about one of my D&D friends ever EVER doing anything.
And hell yes we will teach Hulk-Man to play. Quick, call CPS! Our boy is gonna roll him some dice!
Friday, February 15, 2008
From scrapbooking to pooping
I spent WAY too much money on scrapbooking supplies the other day.I'm totally blaming my neice, Chickie-Poo, here.
I shouldn't have considering Stink-Butt still doesn't have a job.
He's depressed about it (and the fact that his computer busted and now he can't play LOTRO) and he's dragging me down.
Oh sure I could be all in a funk because it's my favorite time of the month, you know, the one time I wear underwear.
Speaking of which- it is the absolute worst to be on your period and go poop. I must use like 1/2 a roll of toilet paper trying to clean myself.
Un-eventful....
Hulk-Man can do all sorts of things, but turn a video camera on him and he suddenly forgets how.Now, how am I supposed to make money off him if he can't perform on camera?! Hehe.
In any case, here he is not doing what I ask him to. :D
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Worst Valentines Day ever....
Oh yeah, me spanking and say "don't touch!" and "no!" to Hulk-Man while Stink-Butt tries to fix his computer all day sure as hell sounds like the most romantic day of the year doesn't it?
Or maybe I just expect perfection where it's not possible. Like life with a toddler.
I'm so boring.
I've been thinking, pretty much since last post, about what to post about next.I have no idea.
Hobby Lobby is having a scrabooking sale. You totally are on the edge of your seat with this post huh?
Dungeons and Dragons maps and castles are the best for making houses in the Sims I discovered. They both use boxes.
Uhhh... yeah.
It's ok, you can sneak out the door now. Hell that's what I'm gonna do.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Holes holes and more holes
I've had this blackhead on my right arm for I don't know how long. It would NOT come out though. I tried to get it for like fucking-ever. I tried everything. I squeezed it and tweezed it- I even used one of my Biore pore strips (with out success and managed to pull the hairs from my arm. Yeah... ouch!)But finally, after my shower this morning, I squeezed that fat ass out.
Now there's a crater in my arm. And I'm fascinated.
Is it just me (probably)- or am I the only one fascinated by the crap that comes out of my body?
I swear every time I use one of those Biore pore strips (which is about every other month) I have to sit there I stare at for literally hours. I can't stop looking at it.
I'm seriously amazed at the gunk in me.
Ok, that sounds disgusting like I'm sitting here full of nastiness and puss. I'm clean- oh sure I have the occassional adult acne, but there's only so much my face scrub can remove on a daily basis.
Anyhoo- am I the only one who does that?
In other news. I have a headache- a migraine (oh god it hurts). I get one every month right before I begin the ever fun adventure of bleeding and wearing
So I guess I'm not knocked up. That's ok. I shouldn't be getting pregnant while Stink-Butt is unemployed.
But that fact doesn't stop my biological clock from pounding on my uterus. Loudly I might add.
And it hasn't stopped.
Friday, February 08, 2008
The good, the bad, and the supa-craftEEE!
Bullet time!But windowslive.com has the worst fucking customer service ever. Ever. EVER. There's no way to contact them- to just call and be like "this is the problem."
So I sent an email and instead of reading it they sent me the same goddamn email they've been sending me, telling me how to reset my password (which I don't want to do- I bought something and they said I never did- bullshit).
Why can't you just punch people without getting sent to jail?
Now I can get more crazy lady meds and the world will again be safe from my snarling hideousness! Hooray!
So Stink-Butt is terrified to touch me.
Of course you know what that means- we'll both get fed up and then I'll get preggo.
Oh sure there are condoms but who wants to go through the work of unwrapping something from a package and such? Sheesh.
No- they appeal to that other part of me. The part that LOVES Anne of Green Gables and Jane Austen and tea parties.
One of them (there are 3) showed me the coolest thing EVER. It's called (I think) Knifty Knitters. I've always wanted to learn how to knit- but since I'm a dumbass and don't know my left from my right (blame the synesthesia) I never could get the needles down. But this is the greatest things for retards like me! So easy!
I'm in the middle of making myself a pretty pink hat. And they make all sizes for different projects. I've always been totally jealous of Miss-Ann'sability to make afghans- but now I can too! cause that's what I do, try and be just like Miss Ann, haha jk
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
And the winners are....
While the RFS blog awards are going on all regular posts (including all weekly memes) will be found at my other blog1) The dirty old man award
-Mr. Fab
2) Blogger most likely to be a Walmart greeter
it's a tie!
-Avi
-Miss Ann
3) Ditziest female
-Tracy
4) Most likely to still live in his/hers mother's basement
it's a tie!
-Jesus
-Avi
5) Blogger most likely to have the most stretched out vagina
it's a tie!
-Mr. Fab
-Miss-Britt
6) Blogger most likely to be fired for sexual harassment
-One Hung Man
7) Blogger most likely to jump off a bridge if someone told them to
-A Blonde and her Blog
8) Blogger who needs to get laid
-Avi
9) Blogger most likely to be killed in a tragic blogging accicent
-Miss Ann
10) Blogger of the month
-The Dawg
special thanks to Karen for this session's buttons
Congrats to all the winners!
didn't win? Next time go kiss more ass....
Labels: RFS Blog Awards
