Thursday, November 30, 2006
Monday Monday...Paul will be here Monday.
Anyone else shitting themselves or is that just me?
Next blog post I make (more than likely) will have photos of our
BTW... Stephen was offered the chance to come home for an early R&R (originally he was going to come home in January) so he took it. He'll be home sometime between now and Monday.
I'm so excited I could swallow a puppy whole, shit it out and kick a field goal with it!
Update I almost forgot! Go pick up the latest issue of Sports Illustrated as Stink-Butt has two (2!!!) photographs in it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
5 daysIt's been kind of boring here lately (oh yeah, big surprise) so I don't really have much to say.
Paul will be here in 5 days... *thud*
I finally took more belly shots!
So that's all I have to offer everyone.
side note- these are all of me and my mom
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Ok! I'll update!Dear Fredericks of Hollywood and Victoria Secret:
Why do you send me catolouges (sp?) telling me to buy a little something to make my special someone melt and bla bla bla?
Are you trying to rub it in my face and pour salt in my wound that Stink-Butt will be GONE for the holidays?
I'm turning into the bitter old hag who says crap like "You pesky kids! Get off my lawn!"
Anyhoo... I know I will recieve a standing ovation for this one, but please try and calm yourselves. Yes yes ladies and gentlemen, I finally vacumed my apartment!
Ohhhh stop it!
In other news- I finally got the camera back!
hugs and kisses the long lost friend
I will take belly shots asap but for now you'll have to make do with photos of his bedroom.
*this one is a bit blurry, but that's my fault- I was being lazy. Hehe.
*this thing cost enough- that netting had better keep our cats out of the crib!
Update- Paul will be born in 9 days.
Friday, November 17, 2006
17 daysI have 17 days to get the house clean. To buy every last drop of baby things I need. To see all the movies I want to see in the theaters. To SLEEP!
I have 2 pre-ops December 1st.
I check into the hospital December 4th at 8:30am.
The C Section will take place December 4th at 10:00am.
I'm not sure if I'm more excited or scared shitless.
I'm not scared at having the baby and I'm not scared at having the C Section. To be honest I don't know why I'm nervous. I've been planning for this for 9 months now. It's just weird that it's 17 days away.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
*banging head on desk*You know there are times in one's life when they seriously consider buying a Nixon mask and going into every business that employs a person that pisses them off and bitch-slapping that employee.
Now watch, some one's going to do that and I'm gonna get blamed for it... lol I wouldn't be surprised with the way things are going lately.
Let me just give everyone the updates on the snowball effect of yesterday:
-The camera: I called again this morning with Stink-Butt on the computer so I could relay what they were saying to me to him. I have the reciept from when I dropped it off. First of all I dropped it off October 13th, which means it's been over a month. They just *now* call and tell me it's broken? Assholes.
So I'm asking them about what's broken and such and they said that one of the springs in the flashcard is bent. The camera will work but eventually the spring will come loose and get inside the camera, making it more difficult to fix.
So I ask how long it would take to fix and she said 1-2 weeks.
So I said "Oh really, and how long is that in the rest of world? Because you said it would take 2-3 weeks to get it cleaned and it's been over a month...."
"Well, if we have to order a new part... plus with the holiday rush it might take a little longer."
"That's why I brought it in when I did so I could get it back BEFORE the holiday rush"
"I'll have to talk to the technician and see if I can get your camera to cut in line."
Is she saying that there are other people who've had *their* equiptment in and have been waiting LONGER than I have? What the fuck? Are you people sharing half a brain down there?
She was supposed to call me back. Big surprise... she never did.
Oh but don't think I won't be calling their sorry asses first thing in the morning. And I will call on the hour every hour until someone grows an ounce of professionalism.
Word to the wise- don't ever take your camera into Wolf Camera Shop to be cleaned.
It's not that I care about the *camera* so much as I care that from the looks of it I won't be able to take fresh new baby photos for Stink-Butt with the good camera. Do you know how much that sucks? Seriously.
-The moron at the post office: I finally get Stink-Butt's Christmas package all put together and it's ready to be sent out. Yay, right? Uhhhuu- you'd think that.
I write more clearly on the back of my credit card See ID (because it'd faded a bit and I'm nice and want to give her the benefit of maybe she didn't see it).
I hand her my card AND my ID. She looks at the back and in a tone you would use towards a 2 year old she says to me "ok, now remember we can't take this as credit if it's not signed..."
Bitch slap #1 coming your way....
"Yes, well my husaband and I don't sign the backs of our cards be-"
"BECAUSE it makes it easier for someone to buy things if the back is signed..."
I wanted to say because of morons like you... she would've just swiped the card and not checked my ID yesterday had it been signed. So no, we don't sign the card.
And really how fucking hard is it to match my name on my card to my ID. And my face? Really, is it THAT hard.
Maybe for her it is- I wouldn't put it passed her. Fucking twat.
So I tell her I'll have to come back and give her a dirty look.
"will you be taking your box?"
Is this woman the queen of DUMBFUCKS???????
Anyway... so I get home and I find the phone number to the branch I was at and ask to speak with a manager.
"he's gone for the day"
"Oh, well when will he be back in?"
"What does this pertain to?"
"I'd really like to speak with the manager."
"We only handle PO Boxes here...."
and then whoever I was talking to on the phone HANGS UP ON ME!!!!!!!!
So I clickety-clicked myself over to USPS.com and sent THEM a long ass email about the morons they've got working at the branch here in town.
There is ONE mailing service in the US- well you know what I mean. There's ONE US Postal Service. I can't really take my business elsewhere. They know this and use it to take advantage of the people. And I will raise all sorts of hell... I am not going to sign the back of my goddamn credit card. My card, MY money. If you're too stupid to match a name and face then you are too stupid to be working ANY job. Just get yourself a shopping cart now and start your life as the crazy shopping cart lady.
On top of it all- the fucking ants are back.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Snowballs? No no- avalanche...Let me just give everyone the list of all the crap that went wrong today:
1) I go in for my 3 month teeth cleaning and mention that one of my teeth was bothering me.
They take XRays.
2 cavities right next to each other.
My dental insurance is *done* for the year. If I fix the teeth before February it's going to cost 1,400$ PLUS (if I need root canals), even if I wait for the insurance to kick in again for the new year I still have to pay like 800$ since it doesn't cover the whole thing. Military dental care sucks major fucking ass. They don't fucking cover ANYthing!
2) It was really fucking rainy all day today, and windy.... I go to Target and as I'm leaving I'm trying to steer the shopping cart and hold the umbrella (that's flipping up because of the wind), trying to get to my car. This fat ass old lady is parked not only in the fire lane in front of the store, but in the ONE spot where the sidewalk dips and you can push your cart nicely into the parking lot. Did she move after she saw me glare at her? No, of course not. Her selfish ass was too busy thinking of HERSELF and not the assload of other people the rain is falling on who are also trying to get to their cars.
3) I stop at the post office to send Stink-Butt a package. I say to the lady at the counter...
"I have the APO form in my purse, hang on."
"This package needs to have an APO form..."
"I know, here you go...." moron.
She tells me the amount, I hand her my credit card. On the back of all of our cards Stink-Butt and I have written See ID. We don't sign our cards because if they get stolen we want people to match our names on our IDs with the names on our cards.
"I can't accept a card that's not signed"
I hand her my Military ID.
"I can't accept this"
You can't accept my ID?? You can't match the name from my ID (which also has my photo, and Stink-Butt's social on it) to the credit card I just handed you?
Thank god there was a counter in the way that stupid bitch needed to be kicked in the box!
4) I go home and am cleaning up and what not when the phone rings. Our camera has been in the shop for 3 1/2 fucking weeks. They just NOW call and say
"I need your authorization to fix your camera"
"What's wrong with it??"
"The flash card is broken. It's going to cost around 200$"
"Well it wasn't broken when I brought it in to have it cleaned 3 1/2 weeks ago"
"The technician opened it up and noticed it was broken...."
"I'm not authorizing anything until I speak with my husband about this."
So not only is our camera apparently fucking BROKEN it seems I'm not going to get it back in fucking time to take newborn photos of the baby. At least that's what it seems like.
I should've said something like "oh really? Well I have about 3 brother-in-laws who are all lawyers and would love to hear about this."
5) I'm at my sister's house watching ANTM (which is so annoying but we can't stop watching lol), and we're snacking. And my fake tooth/cap falls out. It's not supposed to fall out! I have insurance on it so hopefully they can go in and fix it lickity-split. But I have this gap in my mouth.... I feel like such a hillbilly or something.
Sigh... Stink-Butt and I are not made of money (even though some people think we are, but they're fucking dumbasses and we don't like them anyway). I'm just soooo tired. I don't want to deal with all of this. I really don't.
mmm craisinsOk, here's the skinny...
1) I haven't scheduled the c-section yet. I want to. I thought I was going to last appointment, but the doctor I saw last time (I see someone different every time) wants to wait until the very last second to schedule one. Which is fine. He might turn on his own (I made the decision not to turn him manuelly) but I know my kid. I wanted to say to her "Lady, trust me. He'll be breeched next time I come in too. Just schedule the c-section." But I'm gonna go along with what the doctors say. They know best- but I know this kid and how stubborn he is.
So I have an appointment Friday- I should schedule one then.
2) My mom is coming to town on the 18th/19th. Wee! Finally someone to clean my house! Hehe. You think I'm joking.... I usually can't stand it when anyone wants to clean my house- because they may put the salt away in the right spot in general, but it's not put away the right away until I move it like a hair to the left or something. I know! I know! I need to stop that, especially with a baby coming and just relax and take the help. But aren't babies happier in a more structured enviroment filled with routine? So moving the salt shaker a hair to the left is maybe too structured, but that's because I've got a hair up my ass and to the left, lol. Anyway- but my mom and I organize our houses pretty much the same way and clean almost the same way so I feel more comfortable letting her help me than anyone else.
I'll get over it.... but if people want to help they can hold the baby while I clean!
3) I'm gonna drive to the camera shop today and demand my camera back. They said it would take 2-3 weeks and it's been 3 1/2. I'm gonna march in there and tell them that I need it back right now because this kid is going to pop out any week now and I need the friggin' camera back- unless they want to go to Iraq and explain to my gun toting Stink-Butt that the reason there are no newborn photos of the baby is because of their lazy asses.
4) I have another crush- I have too many crushes, lol. The lead singer of the band HelloGoodbye. Oh my god. He is deliciously geeky. Not like how someone like Tyra Bnaks or somethings says "oh I was such a geek in school.." sure you were. You weren't geeky or dorky- not in the way you *could* be.
I love their music, he sounds the same as he does on the album (for the most part) and he dork-hot! Hello! What's not to find attractive???
Update- this week's Way Back Wednesday theme is:
It's Birthday Week at my house! Show us your favorite present that you ever got...or just a present...need not be wrapped...
This is me opening my presents at either my 3rd or 4th birthday. The look on my face wasn't of disapointment but that all these people were gathered around me watching. That and my mom ruined my birthday cake. She will NEVER live it down- NEVER! hehe.
I wanted a regular cake- a strawberry cake. And my mom made strawberry shortcake. It wasn't a cake... it looked like it was falling apart... She will never live that down. lol
Did you play?
Friday, November 10, 2006
ok ok okMy camera is in the shop (still). So I'm playing this week's SPF with pictures I already have.
Photo #1: NO!- Save me! This was at the last Ren' Festival. That bard wouldn't leave me alone. I didn't want a song being sung to me! Of course instead of saving me stink-butt took photos.
Photo #2: YES!- Ok, I forgive him...
Photo #3: MAYBE- maybe indeed....
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Not even going to attempt to think of a title...I feel like I should post something. But my mind has been blank. Well, let me rephrase that. I have a lot on my mind but am lacking my usual awesome wittiness (mwahahaha I know- I need to get my head out of my ass lol).
I have a lot to say I just feel so damn boring.
So I'm not even going to try and make this post exciting. I'm just going to flop it all out on the table, walk away, and sit my ass on the couch.
This kid is going to have abs of steel when he's born. I can hear TLC calling me now, wanting to do a TV special on the freaky-ass baby born with a six-pack.
He's constantly doing sit-ups. Every morning his head goes up and down and he's either doing sit-ups or doesn't know how labor works.
Maybe he doesn't know how labor works. Oh my god my child is stupid already.
Ok, for one thing he's breeched, and has been the entire time. He turned sideways a couple of times but got lost and wound up breeched again.
And he's constantly trying to poke his head out through my belly. Remember in Kill Bill 2 when she was burried alive and had a to chop her way out of the coffin? And she just kept laying there working on it until she burst out? What if he's headbutting me until he busts out? Does he not know where the door is?!
Just like a male to get lost and then instead of asking for directions try and chop his way out.
Anyhoo- I found "peanutbutter!" Ok so it's sunbutter- made from sunflower seeds, but damn it tastes so much like peanutbutter! Ohhhh it's marvelous. I treated myself the other day with a bar of Hershey's chocolate dipping it in the sunbutter.
Ohhhh lordy! That's the closest I've been to an orgasm since Stink-butt deployed! lmao.
I don't have an stretch marks on my belly but I have them on my ass and hip bones. Oh yeah baby, who says pregnancy isn't sexy? Purplish squiggly lines on my ass? I'm calling Digital Playground right now. lol.
Why, especially in this country, is beauty an action? I hear constantly- "she's beautiful AND she does bla bla bla..."
Like it's some amazing feat to be beautiful. Oh what an accomplishment!!! Beautiful and she can peel a banana with her toes?! What the fuck is wrong with us?
I am soooooooo craving the food at Medieval Times. Mmmmmm.. no I take that back. I want Ren' fest' food. Why is that damn thing only once a year?
Anyhoo- I have a doctor appointment tomorrow and will possibley have to schedule a c-section then. Which, to be perfectly honest, is fine with me.
Yes it'd be great to have him naturally (ie vaginally) and experience that. But I just feel that if he's meant to be born vaginally he'll turn. On the one hand I don't want to mess with "nature," but on the other hand- oh dear lord I am SOOO getting an epidural. I am all for modern technology.
C-Sections and epidurals aren't what they used to be. It used to be that if you had an epidural you had no control over your body. But it's not that way anymore.
It also used to be that if you had a c-section you couldn't have kids after. But, obviously it's not that way anymore.
So it baffles me that when I tell people he's breeched and I might need a c-section they talk to me like I'm about to walk towards my death bed. They apologize as though I've just told them I found out I'm getting a tumor removed.
Seriously now. It's surgery... we have technology now to do it properly. I don't need to bite down on a stick and the doctor won't be using a rusty knife. I think we'll be fine.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
People are sick fucksHere are a few things people have searched for and come across my blog:
free pictures of a hermapherdite - right. I hate to break it to you, but you won't find any pictures of a hermapherdite here. And if I had pictures I would definately charge! hehe
sexy wife - What can I say. This is the place to be for sexy wives. Oh not me. But Katy and Mama Duck are linked here.... Just follow the blogroll on the right. Hehe
snowblowing sexual acts - Am I running a porn site here and never knew it?
my sexy wife - have you lost your wife? I'm pretty sure I'm not hiding her here. Then again if I'm running a shady porn opperation here I could very well have kidnapped her and made her into one of my feature ladies. Check room #45.
In other news I've decided to not do TMI Tuesday anymore.
Monday, November 06, 2006
I've got a loverly bunch of coconuts....So much to talk about. Ok, so not really- mainly I'll be pulling moronic sentances out of my ass.
1) My boobies are growing. Oh nice sure- but they feel like someone is sticking needles in them. They hurt. Sometimes you gotta be somewhat grateful your husband is deployed so you know there's no way his grubby hands will be touching your aching boobies.
"Oops, I forgot..." can only be used so many times! lmao.
2) Still getting over this cold. It'd be nice to be able to breathe through my nose again. It makes it difficult to use mouthwash.
3) This post is already the most boring post on the planet. It's hard to be witty and entertaining when 3/4 of your brain has fallen out your ear.
4) Oh! I got the new Sims2 expansion- they can now have pets! But this one house I've been playing don't have any pets. She's collecting kids, hehe. She just had a baby turn into a toddler and on that same day popped out another kid. Hehehe.
But I have another char' who has- well is obsessed with- her cat. Man pets rule- they can jobs and you can totally live off of them. It's how it should be in real life.
Our cats are some lazy ass bitches and need to start pulling their weight around here!
Oh and I learned how to make vampires (by cheating... I'm horrible I know). So everyone who passes by my house I make into a vampire. Mwahahahahahaaa
5) I bought that pre-rinse mouthwash. It's nasty.
6) This month I thought would go by fast since I have a million doctor visits and such. But my next one is on the 10th and the time frommy last appointment until the next one is going by sooooooooooooooo fucking slow.
7) I'm pretty sure I've bored you all to death. I'll let you go now.
Friday, November 03, 2006
mmm CheeriosI'm sick. I have a head cold.
To be honest I don't really feel like playing SPF.
Not that I have my camera back yet, but I'm sure I could've dug up some photos already on the computer.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
face it, I'm HOTPrepare yourself... sexy bitch photos ahead. They will cause mind numbing orgasms....
This week's Way Back Wednesday theme is:
This week's theme: the DUMBEST picture you own and are willing to post on the internet.
I warned you...