Wednesday, June 28, 2006
The man of steel and an early SPFStephen and I went to see Superman Returns last night.
It was so fucking AWESOME!
Ok, anyone who knows me, knows I think Superman is one of the dumbest super heroes ever. I mean he puts on glasses and it's like "woah! Superman! Where'd you go!?"
It's a bit hypocritical of me though to say that since Wonder Woman is my all time favorite super hero; and all she does is let her hair down. But Wonder Woman was there when I was growing up and needed a role model and a hero and Superman wasn't. So that's my excuse.
Anyhoo- but this movie made me love Superman. I guess a small part of me always loved him. Sure the red underwear over the blue tights is kind of tacky, but when you see them you know it's him.
Stephen put it best- This movie makes the other past Superman movies look good.
So I think everyone should go see it cause it friggin rules.
Oh AND- they portrayed Lois as intelligent! Not some ditz with a pad of paper and a pen. Woohoo!
Anyhoo... Stephen and I will be out of town from Friday morning til the 6th. So I'm putting up my SPF early.
Photo #1: Something with a story behind it- I got this round / hat box from my aunt Melissa one year for Christmas (she had me as her K.K.)
Since then I've kept every sentimental thing in there. Except stuff from hubby, he has his own trunk. There are a *lot* of stories inside that box, too many to pick just one.
Photo #2: A Random and Odd photo- This is Stephen and I at the last Ren' Festival. The funny thing is that we didn't even need the caradboard cutouts since we look EXACTLY like that in real life. Anyhoo... I couldn't stop laughing so I just smiled. Very "kick your ass grrr chick" of me huh? lol
Photo #3: Something borrowed- Pssst... Katy... Remember that BBQ we had at your place, and I made that tapenade? You put a spoon in the bowl I brought because I forgot a serving spoon? I took it home and washed it and completely forgot to give it back to you. Then we moved, unpacked and I was like "this isn't mine! Holy crap! It's Katy's!"
So if you're ever in need of a spoon, blame me.
hangs head in shame
Week 17 pics:
Pig anal sexOk, so this post isn't really going to be about fucking a pig in the ass.
It's really weird, I'll be lying in bed and Stephen won't be in the room and the baby will move around and kick, and I really want to get up to tell him, but I know as soon as I do that he'll / she'll stop. So I want to get up and tell Stephen, but sometimes I don't because he'll / she'll run and hide and won't kick.
Stephen needs to start following me around just in case the baby kicks. lol.
But this is how bratty our child is already (lol)- we'll be laying in bed, the baby will be moving and I'll say "honey, the baby's moving" so he'll put his hand on my belly. So the baby retreats back and stops moving (at least so close). I know it doesn't mean anything really- but in some ways it makes me nervous. I mean, Stephen will be in Iraq for 9 months of his / her life- and he / she is already running away from his touch- I'm worried they'll never bond. Which is a horrible thing to think but I can't help but think it.
Whatever. I'm just being paranoid. I'm sure everything will be fine.
It's time for this week's
This week's theme: Let's play dress up! Mrs. Dallas K suggested dress-up as a theme this week...personally I will have to get creative as I didn't play fairy princess until I was 27...let's see that tea-party wear!
*This is me playing "dress up" with my mom's shorts. Like most normal (read: poor-ass) children I didn't have one of those Disney Princess dresses or anything. I had my parents' clothes to dress up in. This is me wearing my mom's shorts around my neck. Lovely wasn't it? Even then I knew how to accessorize (sp?) with just the right thing. lol.
*We are the Burger KINGS! lol. The #1 reason why Burger King was always better than MacDonalds? Awesome crowns you got to wear while you ate and then color in afterwards. That bum off the street (hehe) is my dad (also blessed by the hair gods as you can obviously see), that's my sister in the pink shirt and me wearing a fabulous green dish towel (who needed bibs when you had dishtowels!?). This should be a Burger King ad, lol.
*As an added bonus- this is my grandma (my dad's mother) all dressed up for a party she and my grandpa were throwing. Martinis anyone?
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Six Flags sucks major fucking donkey ass (long ass post)This week is Military Appreciation Day at Six Flags here in Atlanta (I don't know if it is elsewhere).
Omg- thank the fucking lord we didn't have to pay to get into the park.
Ok, here's how the day went.
Stephen and I had a doctor's appointment at 9:20 (nothing major to report they just took some blood to see if our child will have brain damage or not. Knowing Stephen and I- more than likely lol). We then headed to the park got in the HUGE line of cars to park. First off- parking cost a whopping 15.$! That's ridiculous! We get up to the toll booth thing and this like 12 year old is there. We ask her if Military has to pay for parking. She looked at us like we were speaking Chinese and said yes. And then in an ever dull and unprofessional tone said they only took cash. Oh fuck.
Sowe turn around and drive to the first gas station where the atm machine was out. Drove to the second one, got money and got back in the line to get into this crap hole of an "amusement park."
You'd think that an AMESUMENT park with a huge ass fee to get INto the park- the only thing you'd have to pay for is like food and drink. Like at Disney (the greatest amusement park in the universe).
Oh but no- not at Six Flags. The greediest fucktard of an amusement park in not only the unverse but heaven and hell too.
Not only do you have to pay for those dumbfuck carnival games where you win a toy but an assload of RIDES too! Umm you can't be both- choose! Either be a carnival or an amusement park, fucktards!
You'd think with all the money they're squeezing out of people (because they can and they're disgusting greedy assholes) that the park would be fucking CLEAN and NICE! Wouldn't you think that???
But we have to remember that this is Atlanta and EVERY goddamn person here is a moron and COMPLETELY useless. I swear this place has THE worst customer service on the fucking planet. Example... Stephen went to get he and I an Icee and a pretzle. The icee wasn't mixed all the way and they said the pretzles weren't made yet. However, they had 4 fucking morons standing around, "working" there, with their thumbs up their asses.
Example number TWO (the list goes on and on and on and on and on and... but I'll just give you these 2). After Stephen and everyone (people in his unit) went on the Superman ride (which Stephen said was awesome and the only good ride in the park) we went to go look at the pictures. There was a manager showing 2 girls something on the cash register (poor training I'll say- he didn't even look up and say hello or ANYthing), and 2 girls standing behind them looking like morons. After like 10 minutes of us wondering where our pictures are, and it being obvious, one of the girls in the back nudges the other one and says "the pictures!"
uhh y'think pokey?!?!?!?!!?! There was a whole group of us wanting to see the photos- they have like one fucking job to do and they can't even do THAT. Goddamn fucking idiots.
While I was waiting for them to get off the rides I really needed to sit down and no one would let me. I can't get to irritated about that since I don't look obviously pregnant yet. But I really needed to sit. :(
It's a good thing we didn't pay to get in otherwise I would've raised all sorts of hell in that place getting our money back.
Oh and the park has like different "theme" lands- but you'd NEVER know it.
And we ate some "Mexican" food for dinner. My mom is Mexican, I know mexican food and I know cheap Mexican food and I know garbage when I eat it. That was beyond garbage it was so nasty.
Guess what they put in the "mild salsa" to give it a kick of mild spiciness. PEPPER! Oh goddamnit. The salsa tasted like ketchup. I... ohhhh lord it was nasty.
I HATE IT HERE!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot wait till Stephen's out of Army and we leave the "hell hole of America." (and I grew up in a neighborhood worse than Compton).
Time for this week's :
1. What kind of birth control do you use?
-Um... pregnancy. lmao! I used to be on the pill because we *hate* condoms.
2. How do you put yourself in the mood?
-think about like past sex sessions or usually just try and focus on what's happening at that moment.
3. On a scale of 1-10, how inventive are you in bed?
-I don't know. I can't really compare myself to anyone because it's not like Stephen tells me intimate details of his past experiences. So I'll say like an 8 I guess.
4. What's the ratio of you initiating to your partner?
-Errmmm... I initiate like seriously 3 times out of 10. If that to be honest. I'm really really really bad about it. Like he's gonna turn me down or something. I haven't gotten it into my thick skull that unless he's asleep he'll have sex with me. lol
5. How often do you reach orgasm during sex?
-during one session? If it's really good 3+, if it's a quicky and (though partially my fault) not as good as I know it can be.. 1 to 2 times. And on a bad day, 0, but that's rare.
Bonus (as in "optional"): What's the easiest way for you to reach orgasm?
-I think everyone has an easier time reaching an orgasm if they do it themselves. I mean you know exactly where to go and you've ben doing it for so long that it makes total sense. With hubby... it's easiest (time for the tmi portion of this program) if he goes down on me first for foreplay.
Thursday, June 22, 2006
*phew* Made it...We have company over so this is the first chance I've gotten to be anywhere near the computer.
Oh I missed you old friend! Those 8 hours we were apart were murder!
Anyway... I want to learn how to make Sims clothes and such.
I am so jealous of like sites like this one. Tell me your secrets! Like how the hell did they hire *that* chick for a nanny? All the nannies I've hired were the old biddy ones who just watch TV.
I think my problem is that I'll play a character for like a few days and then *have* to move on and make another one. One day I'll learn to stick with the chars I have.
Am I boring you guys yet?
Ok, I'll move on.
We find out the sex of the baby on July 17th. Ooooh.
We're hoping for a baby elephant.
Oh! Derrr- totally forgot... I felt the baby kick the first time the night before last and Stephen felt it for the first time this morning. :)
At least I think it was a kick. It had to have been.
We're buying baby crap Saturday, like a swing, carseat, etc. I'm so excited. I've been wanted to buy baby crap since the first day I missed my period, lmao.
Speaking os which- did you know Target doesn't sell diaper bags! Of all places! Sheesh. Now I have no clue where to buy a diaper bag lol.
Babies R Us is way too expensive (imo). But a diaper bag is something to ask for when having a baby shower right?
A diamond studded diaper bag is the only one that will do for MY child!
bwahahaha- jk. :)
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
my stupidity, wbw, and other crap1) I am a retard. hehe. As most of you know, I'm doing a pregnancy scrapbook, so I ordered all sorts of crap from Scraptivity.com. I didn't realize though until after I paid and all that they're a Canadian based company and never gave me the option of overnight, next day, etc. delivery. So who the hell knows when it's going to get here! And A few things were backordered and I think I misunderstood- I thought they'd send the other stuff first, but now I'm pretty sure they're sending it when it's all in. Ugh.
Why didn't I just go to Michaels and buy all the crap I needed?
Huh? Some one smack me.
2) I think Brooks and Dunn's song Believe is gorgeous. You guys know I'm not Christian, but I do believe in a higher spirit, a God, whatever you want to call it. I pray just like any one else. I grew up in California where the vinyard type of worship music originated (if you know what that is- woot to you). I grew up in churches where we didn't sit there and let the choir sing for us- like they were putting on a concert. I grew up in a church where when you sang these songs you were *worshiping*. This Brooks and Dunn song just reminds me of being in church, after communion (I grew up Catholic) and you go back to your pew to pray and the musicians would play this lingering song and the prayer was intense. I can't think of another word to describe it. Not of those, "kneel, thanks god, sit down and look around a wait" prayers. A prayer that went on long after the song was done. When the outside world matters absolutely nothing, and all that matters is that moment and you praising God.
Didn't know a non-Christian Liberal could know those sorts of things did you? Sucka! hehe
3) Ok, it's time for this week's :
Happy Summer Solstice!! To celebrate the first official day of summer let's see some summery things...bathing suits, beaches, BBQs, water balloon fights, wet t-shirt contests... you name it!
*Summer picnics! That's me in the brown overalls, with our neighbors Renee and Marcel*
*Summer swimming! This picture is really fuzzy, so I apologize. That's me- the head that's blended in with the pool. 3 of my cousins are in the pool with us. Back row from left to right- my sister Mara, my uncle Mike, my grandpa and grandma Sanchez (great-grandparents), and my mom (in the UFO sized glasses).*
*Summer zoo trips! That's me in the turquoise and brown hair and my sister Mara is the red head.*
Did you play?
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Let's get crackalackin'!I had a 16 week doctor appointment yesterday (so technically I'm not at 16 weeks until Thursday but oh friggidin-frackedin well!). It was... interesting. Everything is fine, but I was in and out of there in like 15 minutes. I know I shouldn't feel cheated but I do in a way.
The doctor said my lab results were perfect (iron levels and such), the heart beat is strong healthy.
And apparently I've been feeling the baby move this whole time and never knew it.
Accoding to the doctor, when I feel that bubble of what I thought was gas is actually the baby moving around. I started feeling that at like 10 weeks. Crazy. I just chalked it up to gas! So I'm excited that I've actually been feeling the baby move :)
I can't wait til it start beating the shit out of my insides so Stephen can feel too. Poor guy, I feel bad that he's left out of feeling these weird ass "what the fuck is that?!" feelings.
Anyhoo, let's get to this week's :
1. Are you a member of the mile high club? (if so, details please how cause I am clueless!)
-Ha! No. I honestly don't see where and how one can have sex on an airplane. It's so small and cramped there. I don't know about you guys but I need room to move! lol
2. Do you give/get special sexual attention on your birthday/special occasions?
-They don't call it a birthday blowjob for nothin'! Hehe
3. How often do you tell white lies? Is it with or without thinking?
-with and not often. Usually like "oh this food is so yummy!" gag
4. On a scale of 1-10, how much of a pottymouth are you (courtesy of my 5 yr. old)?
-I'm a fucking 9... or 10. I have a mouth like a dirty pirate! Rar!
5. Who told you about what sex is/how babies are made?
-I figured it out on my own. lol. Cause I knew what french kissing was and that a tongue goes inside someone else's mouth, and that boys have a penis and girls have a vagina and I thought well, if a tongue can go in a mouth... HEY! That's a hole and that fits right in there- they're perfectly lined up to do that!
I shit you not that was my thought process. Little do you all know that happened yesterday hehe
Bonus (as in "optional"): Do you think most people masturbate only when they are in need of sex, or do they do it even when they aren't just for fun?
-I do it when I need a quicky and hubby is nowhere in sight. Sometimes you don't want to go through all the foreplay and the cleaning up. You just want to get it done and who can get it done faster and better than you?
Hell, sometimes I do it just because I'm bored. lmao.
Although I'm a bit jealous that hubby can do it pretty much anywhere he wants just so long as there a door to close behind him. I can't stand up and do it, I'm not talented like that.
Monday, June 19, 2006
scrapbook help from other moms and dadsOk, I thought of another page for the pregnancy scrapbook. A "Advice I Got From Other Parents" page.
So all you moms and dads out there who read my blog regularly (or who are just passing through)- please write a 1 or 2 sentance tidbit of advice for us please.
Try and keep it as short and sweet as possible please :)
You can leave it in the comment box or email me at email@example.com
And don't forget to leave your first name since I may not know it. :)
Damnit Brad Paisley! Quit making me cry!!!
umm... sooo... yeah...I am totally blank on ideas of what to talk / complain about today.
1) We bought a new board game called Descent. It's fun, we've been playing that non-stop. I am absolutely NO good at that game. I can't think on me feet in that game (I can in WoW and CoH / CoV though, so I dont' know what the deal is). I can't ever make it passed the 3rd room.
*sigh* I suck and am a disgrace to all dorks out there. :)
2) We were watching Iron Chef last night- omg, I can't help it, every time I watch that show, even if I'm full to the brim, I get really really hungry. It was battle lobster last night. I've NEVER had lobster but omg the food looked SOOOOO good.
3) I had a dream about Brad Paisley last night. Not one of THOSE dreams... I dreamt I went and bought his new album and was having a signing so I got in line and whatever (it was really easy getting to him considering everyone but me and this other girl went down one hallway and we went down the right one). So we (Brad and I) talked for a while, then he did a magic trick with the autograph he gave me (which in my dream was for Stephen...).
It was just weird.
4) Thanks everyone who made suggestions for the pregnancy scrapbook (see post below). If anyone has any more suggestions let me know :)
Update -For all the men in women who serve in the Military-
Your alarm goes off you hit the snooze and sleep for another 10 minutes.
He stays up for days on end.
You take a warm shower to help you wake up.
He goes days or weeks without running water.
You complain of a "headache", and call in sick.
He gets shot at, as others are hit, and keeps moving forward.
You put on your 'don't support the troops shirt,' and go meet up with your friends.
He still fights for your right to wear that shirt.
You make sure you're cell phone is in your pocket.
He clutches the cross hanging on his chain next to his dog tags.
You talk trash on your "buddies" that aren't with you.
He knows he may not see some of his buddies again.
You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls.
He walks the streets, searching for insurgents and terrorists.
You complain about how hot it is.
He wears his heavy gear, not daring to take off his helmet to wipe his brow.
You go out to lunch, and complain because the restaurant got your order wrong.
He does not get to eat today.
Your maid makes your bed and washes your clothes.
He wears the same things for months, but makes sure his weapons are clean.
You go to the mall and get your hair redone.
He doesn't have time to brush his teeth today.
You are angry because your class ran 5 minutes over.
He is told he will be held an extra 2 months.
You call your girlfriend and set a date for that night.
He waits for the mail to see if there is a letter from home.
You hug and kiss your girlfriend, like you do everyday.
He holds his letter close and smells his love's perfume.
You roll your eyes as a baby cries.
He gets a letter with pictures of his new child, and wonders if they'll ever meet.
You criticize your government, and say that war never solves anything.
He sees the innocent tortured and killed by their own government and remembers why he is fighting.
You hear the jokes about the war, and make fun of the men like him.
He hears the gun fire and bombs.
You see only what the media wants you to see.
He sees the bodies lying around him.
You are asked to go to the store by your parents. You don't.
He does what he is told.
You stay at home and watch TV.
He takes whatever time he is given to call and write home, sleep, and eat.
You crawl into your bed, with down pillows, and try to get comfortable.
He crawls under a tank for shade and a 5 minute nap, only to be woken by gun fire.
You sit there and judge him, saying the world is a worse place because of men like him.
If only there were more men like him…
I didn't write that, I found it on the MSSN. I agree with most of it- not all since some of it seems a little "right sided," and I feel like some of them are for people who look at the left and shake their heads at our bleeding heart ideas.
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Scrapbooking ideasI know some of you are creative and I need some ideas...
I want to make a pregnancy scrapbook and need ideas for pages. So far I have the following ideas:
-Belly growing pictures and what not
-a "daddy" page
-an "Army brat" page (since Stephen will be in Iraq).
-an "the home you were born in" page
-a boy? girl? page
-a page where it's about finding out the news (like taking a photo of a preggo test).
-A "food" page about all the crap I was craving and such.
Any other suggestions?
Friday, June 16, 2006
Sex with ants and this week's SPF...I had this weird-ass and detailed dream last night that Stephen and I went to some sort of home improvement show and there was this guy there who had trained like a billion ants and they were supposed to be awesome for your yard.
So some how I started helping him and there were ants crawling all over me- but I trained then and they knew me (and btw once they knew me either I shrunk or they grew ginormous)- one curled up like our cat Sam does when he's being too cute to stand it.
So then we went around selling our product and we went to this one lady's house and we told her that her ground had to be completely flat before we installed; So we handed her a shovel and he went in the house to have a beer (classy huh? lol).
But Stephen was there so somehow we winded up having sex in the closet (note that there was a clothes closet outside....)
Nothing better than closet sex with a million giant ants running around.
Sorry if I made anyone itch lol
Ok, let's get to this week's Stuff Portrait Friday:
Photo #1: My puzzle- I'm a bit obsessed with our 2 cats, Samwise and Hermione. They LOVE boxes so every extra box that comes in our house I tape and add to their already mounding pile of boxes / cat house there. The puzzle is where to put the next box!
Photo #2: My best...- kitchen tool! I believe that if you're going to start buying things for your kitchen the VERY first thing you should have is a good knives set. Not knives you throw in a drawer- I mean good, split a hair down the middle, knives. Ones you take good care of. These are mine.
side note- the bigger photo is a bit blurry because I've had trouble keeping my hand steady while taking photos so I apologize
Photo #3: Something old- These are 2 bears my Grandma Z made for me when I was born. She knitted them and stuffed them with pantyhose clippings.
Did you play?
Week 15 belly pics!
I decided to particpate in THIS
It's a brilliant idea and I'm sure he needs more volunteers.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Hrm...I thought of something to talk about today but I can't remember what it was. Not like it was Earth shattering by any means. Probably just about how much I fart on a given day. Hehe.
Oh yeah ok.... shakes head at the retardedness of her husaband We (Stephen and I, derr) were at Borders yesterday looking around (I bought a scrapbooking magazine and decided to make a pregnancy scrapbook for all the kids) and he comes up to me all excited and is holding a movie behind his back and says "Ok, before you roll your eyes it's a really funny movie! This movie is awesome!"
So he hands me Beyond Valley of the Dolls.
So I look at it- now I'm not stupid, I know what my husband likes, and all-female rock bands are right up his alley. So I give him a look like he's a 12 year old asking his mom for cigarettes.
But he assured me that's not why he wanted it and said it was actually a funny-as-hell movie (though I'm not too sure Hell is actually funny, hehe).
So we buy it and watch it last night.
That movie is SO fucking awful it's funny. Although I like Z-Man, aka Superwoman, he's my favorite.
The acting is terrible, the writing is like "what the fuck?!" but it's actually a weird-ass funny movie. the music in it rules though.
I was hoping they had the soundtrack on our music program but they don't bastards.
It was good- but I'm a girl and am not turned on by boobies in my face every 2 seconds (then again I'm not turned on by a plethora of penises in my face every 2 seconds. It's like "geez stop!") so this movie wasn't as enjoyable for me as it was for him (who would watch a whole parade of boobies if I'd let him lol).
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Damnit1) I can't sleep.
Which means I'll have to take a nap later, which means I'll have to cut into cleaning
2) To Anonymous- Saying it's ok for teenagers (I should just say children as they ARE children) to pose in sexually suggestive poses on the internet under the guise of "This is America and don't we have rights... blah blah blah" is just plain ol' silly and ridiculous.
Yes this is America- yes we have freedom of speach, etc... but we should NEVER use that as an excuse give up our rights as humans to have self-respect and self-worth.
What's wrong with me wanting females to have some sort of self-worth and sense of decency? The only reason I can think of that would make you think that's wrong is because you're thinking with your penis and it got in a knot when some one suggested those girls have some self-respect and maybe NOT put it all out there SOOO easily.
And commenting under an Anonymous name? If I can have the guts to come on here, on MY blog, not being anonymous and give an opinion, then you should be able to have the guts to leave your 2 cents on here and leave a name.
Unless it's you Ron then I take back the comment about coming on here with an anonymous name
3) Ok, I am going to play Way Back Wednesday this week, but kind of flip around the topic.
Rub-A-Dub-Dub! I'm doing it..."vintage" pics (since they are of us... NOT our children) as bathing beauties....
I don't have any photos of me in the bath, but here's a photo of me in DESPERATE need of a bath:
Did you play?
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
my lovely plastic tooth... amongst other crap1) Sorry for the ranting post yesterday.
To answer your question, Mer, as to what brought on such a rant- I get sick of people. Hehe. I expect a lot from people in the way of be decent human beings and not selling themselves short and MySpace seems to be a breeding ground for the type of person who has absolutely NO self. They're starting off SO fucking young on MySpace; starting off WAY too early to get into the slut rut. did I spell rut right? I can't spell. lol
2) I had another dentist appointment yesterday. He gave me my filling and temporary (temperary?) crown. It's oh so lovely. Nice and plasticy and fake looking. Thank god it's in the far back so you can't really see it when I smile or talk.
Although, if it WERE in the front, I'd ask them to make it out of wood so I could look like a pirate. YAR!
3) Speaking of pirates (and how totally awesome they are)- Ok, Stephen and I have NEVER given eachother our birthday presents on the day of our birthday. Mainly because I'm impatient and can't wait and force him to give my my present; and I get too excited about his present that I force him to accept his early.
So I forced him to give me one of my presents early (he says I'll get another present when we go out to our birthday dinner at this fucking awesome place that's a fondue restaurant- inside a pirate ship!!!).
He foudn this (it's kind of a kids game but I love it) pirate game. It comes in an awesome wood box. The pirate treasure looks REAL. The map is a cloth map and awesome. The whole thing rules.
4) Don't you hate it when you think you have a loose hair that's fallen into your pubic hair, but really it's just a pubic hair that's gotten itself unkinked and you find out the hard way that it's not a loose hair.
Lizzie finally (hehe just teasing Liz) put up this week's :
1. Stubble... good or bad? How often do you shave?
-Before Stephen went and knocked me up I shaved about once every 2 or 3 weeks (I don't grow that much hair and it's light). Now it's like I'm shaving every other day. Hehe
2. Have you ever let someone else shave for you? What parts? :)
-No... but I'd let Stephen go ahead and shave my pits. Lmao. Oh I crack myself up....
3. How old were you when you lost your "innocence" (not necessarily sex but what took you into the "adult" world)?
-7. And that's all you need to know.
4. Ever Googled an ex?
5. Have you ever flirted (or more) at work in order to get ahead?
-Oh you silly thing. I've worked in many a restaurant... and I wouldn't call it flirting, per se... But a "cutesy-you-might-have-a-chance-with-me" attitude helps and brings in more tips from male customers. You just gotta yank their chains a bit. Guys would come in make jokes, be retarded and I'd be like "bwahahaha! Omg, that's soo funny! Oops I dropped my pen! Silly me... teehee."
But you have to be careful... Subtle flirting is always best. Less is more. Don't over step that boundery. BTW- this was all before I met Stephen... lol.
Bonus (as in "optional"): How often do you spend on foreplay? How long would you like to spend?
-Not enough... more than usual.
Oh wow that sounded mean... I'm just gonna go and shut up.
Monday, June 12, 2006
I hate MySpaceBut note that I do have a MySpace page.
I fucking hate MySpace. It's just a place for moronic (goddamn I cannot think of a word to express how fucking STUPID these people are) teenagers (and probably younger) to post what they think are sexy photos of themselves.
And if you're older than a teenager and post "I think I'm oh so sexy" photos of yourself, you might AS WELL be a fucking teenager. Now come here so I can kick you in the box / balls.
How cheap are you? Exactly how much disprespect do you have for yourself that you think "oh I don't want to be as fucked up as people in the porn industry, but my self esteem is so fucking low I need post nude / semi-nude photos of myself?"
I'm sorry, if you take off your clothes in a public setting, or pose in pictures that you OBVIOUSLY want see and think about sex- then you're not only cheap ass fucktard, you're a DUMB FUCK of a fucktard for not even getting paid.
And for those of you who think that a normal girl / guy taking off their clothes in a public setting is different from porn... how? How is it different? Because most porn stars are made of plastic. Not all of them are. So tell me how it's different? Uhhuu... it's not! The only difference is that porn stars make a living at it so you think you're better than them. Well you're not. Just makes you cheaper and more of an idiot.
Oh but having people tell you that you look hot is all the reward you need right? batting eylashes
HAVE SOME FUCKING SELF RESPECT ASS MONKEY!!!!!!!!!!
Oh and to all you dumbfucks who post pictures with you and your beer and / or your drugs. You're not cool and you just look stupid.
If I were a guy, or I needed to look at people with their clothes off to get it up MySpace is perfect.... it's not porn but there are girls with their clothes off! I might think MySpace was the best place in the universe.
But as someone with self-repsect, respect for my spouse and family, and at least SOME intelligence- MySpace is a fucking waste of air and all those stupid ass people in one spot is NOT a good thing.
.... goddamn fucking stupid children. Parents- quit being so fucking blind and DUMB!!!!!
is my bad mood THAT obvious? lol
Friday, June 09, 2006
the dead goat and this week's SPFStephen is learning to play the bagpipes. Which is totally fucking awesome (and I must admit really damn sexy), but before he can even get practice pipes he has to learn on this little recorder type thing (is it called a cantor or a canter? anyway...)
And we know it'll take some time, but the noise that comes out of that thing is so fucking funny. I couldn't stop laughing yesterday. Not at Stephen, of course, but at that noise.
It sounds like a goat being raped in the ass by King Kong.
Anyhoo... let's get to this week's Stuff Portrait Friday:
Photo #1: Wide Open Space- Ok, I live in an apartment, there aren't a lot of wide open spaces here; but this is the best I could come up with.
Photo #2: Brightness- This is my knocked up ass at 14weeks 1 day. Hey my belly is as big as my ass! lol
Photo #3: Darkness- He'll be gone before I know it.
if I lay here; if I just lay here; would you lie with me; and just forget hte world?
Thursday, June 08, 2006
I may offend some people with this post...But like I always say- If you don't like it, don't read it. This is my blog and it's a personal blog, so... *neener neener neener*
The big news on Drudge is that Ms. Clinton I will use Ms. til the day I die, as women are not a product of their husbands slammed Ann Coulter.
Well, I've said it before and I don't mind saying it again- Ann Coulter is a heartless wench who has sand storm raging in her vagina and she can't seem to get it out.
I will not listen to her hateful and ridiculous bantering and I lose respect for any person that takes that woman seriously.
Thank goodness hubby has enough sense not to bring her
Which is exactly why I will not stand for ANYone bashing Republicans.
I bashed Coulter not because she's a Republican but because she's a horrible human being. Not that I think Hillary is any better or worse, I just thought it a bit silly that the big story on Drudge was the fact that Hillary bashed Coulter. Big deal!
Stephen and I have met quite a few people who can't seem to understand how we make our marriage work because he's a Republican and I'm a Liberal...
The answer is simple:
We're better than all of you.
Nyah Nyah Nyah.
I try and shut up about things I read on the internet, I really do... but I can't ever seem to.
-I will never think it acceptable to delight and rejoice in the death of ANY other person.
-I don't care (I do care but don't use it as an excuse...) if they killed a million people I don't think we should stoop to their level and then dance in the streets about it.
-I think it's silly and wrong (humanitarian-wise) to rejoice in the fact that someone else died and then say you're a proud and happy American this day because so-n-so died. I'm sorry, I didn't know being an American meant having a "fuck the rest of you" / "me me me all ME" attitude.
-I'm sorry, I just think it fucking disgusting to jump for joy at the death of someone else and then chalk it up to your "American ways."
-Go ahead and call me Un-American because of what I just said- this is one time I won't mind. I'm not a selfish person and I don't stoop to the level I protest.
I hope I never gave the impression that just because I'm on here whining up a storm about certain things that I think you guys can't come here and comment about it.
You don't have to agree with me and you can certainly tell me you don't.
man, am I a comment whore or WHAT? lol
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Ok, this baby needs to make up his mind....I'll eat a meal big enough for 3 people and be stuffed to the brim, then literally 10 minutes later my stomach is growling again. Are you hungry or not demon child!? Make up your mind!? Hehe.
I am SOO gonna tell our kids that my pet name for them when they were in the womb was demon spawn; just so they can go to their teachers and say "my mom said I'm demon spawn!"
hehe, just kidding.
I have this prenatal yoga dvd that I do in the morning before breakfast (I've done yoga off and on for like 6 years now and heard the first rule of yoga is to do it before you eat anything, so I do it in the morning. Anyway, that's not the point- the point is that the woman on the dvd puts me to sleep. One part of the program she says "now slowly step away from your chair..." and it sounds like we're crazy ass lunatics about to commit suicide or murder the chair and she's talking us out of it.
I still think it's funny that Stephen will be in Iraq when my porn star boobs come in (I'm crossing off the days until it happens! My own boobies! Oh I'm so excited! lmao) but it's probably a good thing since I know he won't be able to touch them anyway. Poor guy- it's the whole reason he knocked me up in the first place. Hehe. Oh I'm just kidding. He loves my child sized boobies....
Ok that sounds SO wrong and I did NOT mean it in the way it sounded. Let me rephrase that...
He loves me tiny little A-cup boobies.
There, that's better.
Anyway- if he's gonna see and not be able to touch he might as well be in Iraq doing it. :)
That way when he slobbers all over me I wont have to feel guilty about turning him down (again and again) for sex. Hmm, maybe him being overseas during the time the baby comes is a good thing.
My ankle won't stop itching damnit!!!!!
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
the dentist, my boobs, and other misc' crap1) You know, the dentist isn't as bad as everyone cracks it up to be. Ok, I had a root canal yesterday and the only part that hurt was the fact that they had to jab the numbing needle into my jaw line / bones. And even that wasn't that bad. :) It was weird though- bits of tooth were flying everywhere as he was drilling. I knew they were fixing my tooth, but at the same time it's like "what the fuck are you doing to my tooth!? Stop!!!"
I should've started going to to the dentist a LONG as time ago.
The only thing I dont like about the dentist is teeth cleaning. lol. That scraping! cries It gave me nightmares.
2) My boobs friggin HURT like a mother fucker. I keep hitting them, and rubbing against them with my arms. I just hope that after I have the baby and he / she sucks the life out of them and they fall like pancakes to the floor that they don't hide in my armpits. That's all I ask. They can go as flat as they want (hubby and I are both expecting them to and are prepared for my grandma boobs... at least I hope *he's* prepared) but PLEASE don't hide under my arms!
Hehe- I think it's funny (in a twisted way) that Stephen will be in Iraq when the milk comes in and I have porn star (albeit leaky) boobs. I don't know why I find that so funny but it makes me laugh every time I think of it.
Man I'm mean.
3) I have terrible allergies and the 2 things I can take (Claritin and Sudefed) don't work for me at all. So I've got my humidifier by my bed (which doesn't help either and just makes me have to cough more moisture) and have to sleep in a bed where ever I go. Of course our cat, Hermione, sheds like a friggin... thing that sheds a lot... and likes laying all over the bed and insists on laying on our laps when we're on the couch. Basically she's going where ever we're going and shedding all over the damn place. I gotta start closing the door so she doesn't rub her body all over the bed.
Thank god for my Dyson DC07- the pet addition. goes and makes out with the vacume
4) Sigh. May has come and passed... so you know what that means.
Rob has come to Atlanta, done a show, and left. And did I see him????????? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Sigh. I've never ever ever ever EVER ever ever ever (getting the point? lol) EVER missed him / mbt in concert EVER when they come to the town I'm living in.
Ok, so I sound like a teenager sure- but I don't care. They've been my favorite band for like 9 years now.
I *heart* them. lol. Rob's the ONLY celebrity I have the utmost respect for. I don't sound like myself. Ok, enough with the girlish squealing lol. I'm shutting up.
It's time for this week's !
1. My biggest sexual turnoff is __________?
-Actually a lot turns me off. Unbrushed teeth, being made fun of (even in a joking manner) during foreplay and sex, hair (lots of gross hair), arrogance, a man who thinks he's god's gift to women (ugh!), too many muscles (I like my men geeky), foreplay until the guy can kinda / sorta slip in (if it's all about you then I might as well lay there like a dead fish and let you go to town), an unshaved face (that isn't really a turn off as much as it is just annoying lol).
2. Do you think being virgins when married would make your marriage more trustworthy and/or special?
-Pssh! No... lol sorry. Ok this is how I feel about it... I knew I was gonna marry hubby the second I saw him and that we'd be the only people we'd ever sleep with. I'm not into one night stands- sex is sooooooo much better when your partner knows you, what you like, your moves, etc. And I just feel like we got a jump start on getting to know each other in the bedroom. Whether you start before or when you marry I don't care. But I seriously doubt it has anything to do with making your marriage more trustworthy. That's a load of bull. lol
3. What is the best flirting technique: innuendo, telling a dirty joke, talking about sex life, or physical contact?
-I am the WORST flirter alive. I am WAY too klutzy to be all sultry and shit. On hubby and my second date- check out this awesome sultry move- we went to Starbucks and I spilled hot coffee ALL over me. Hubby says I looked so pathetic, just sitting there with my coffee all over me. Of course I make the men melt for me by going off on one of my "damnit why are men so fucking stupid!" rants. lol. Oh yeah, they're lining up around the block for me. It's a wonder I got hubby into bed in the first place.
4. How long before you sleep together? (um, that's meant to be funny...)
-With hubby it was like... 2 weeks. Yeah. 2 weeks for intercourse, we did other stuff before that *cough*
5. What do you think the average number of sexual partners your sex has in their lifetime (so for me a female)? Do you think most people lie when asked?
-I have no idea. I've never lied about it.
Bonus (as in "optional"): When you climax, the best thing your partner can do to make it even better is ___________?
-not pull out lmao.
Monday, June 05, 2006
I would've gotten knocked up years ago if I knew all this was coming... heheLately I'd been feeling really depressed. Chalk it up to mood swings of course, but I was soooooo depressed lately. My husband is the bestestest husband on the planet....
-never once said "come on, honey, suck it up." (typical man thing he's said before.. ugh! lol)
-held me whenever I needed him to
-stopped whatever he was doing when I needed him to rub my belly (it relaxes me).
-Came home early Friday (he was released early- he didn't just leave lol. Bad soldier!) and surprised me with flowers (striped flowers!).
-He spent all of Friday night (the time we usually play video games) spending time with me. Keeping me happy.
-He usually wakes up before me on weekends and usually takes the opportunity to get a jump start on playing video games. Instead, yesterday he got up and made us breakfast. He even put our vitamins on a pretty little saucer for us (hehe).
-He CLEANED his MESS up afterwards.
-He started to get a little bit annoyed with me (I could tell) but instead of saying something like "come on honey, suck it up," he sits next to me and ever so calmly and understandingly (it's a word! I said so hehe) suggested that whenever I felt deppressed to get up and bake something. Even if we have breads, cakes, and cookies coming out the wazoo. So we bought an assload of baking ingredients yesterday while grocery shopping.
-He's always been someone who if you're a bit down his sollution is usually "just think of something worse and it'll make everything better." Now he understands that all this depression is my hormones going crazy and is out of my hands.
Don't I have the bestestestest husband on the universe? :)
Side note- I have a dentist appointment this morning. Ugh! I have to sit in a chair for 2 hours getting a root canal because one of my molars has an abscess (sp?) under it. Why don't we know magic! *whimper*
Friday, June 02, 2006
Someone cheer me up....Sure its my hormones racing with each other to the "let's see who can make her more out of wack" finish line.
But I've been all sorts of depressed and down lately.
-I think I've entered some sort of nesting stage and am freaking out thinking that our apartment is no where near ready to bring a baby home to.
Sure it's way too early to start buying cribs and such (as we're gonna get an assload of crap from our families and I'm only in my 13th week).
-The house will never be clean enough. It's disorganized. Too small to home a (tiny albeit) baby.
-I'd clean all day and night but I have less energy and more nausea than I did in my first trimester so I feel like I'm some lazy-ass homemaker / sahm who can't even bring her child into the world because I can't seem to physically get off my ass.
-And I'm pretty sure my husband would rather have sex with some Victoria Secret model and not some frumpy dumpy housewife who doesn't even look good in a bathing suit anymore.
I used to have a figure- one that did not say "awww you're having a baby, how beautiful!"
Sure my belly is beautiful but now all I've become is my belly. I'm no longer the lovely one. I don't want to be a beautiful belly with a female attached to it.
I do- but I don't. Hopefully that made sense.
Whatever. I'll shut up about that and get to this week's Stuff Portrait Friday
Photo #1: Something sparkly- You know as much as I love things that sparkle and glitter and pretty things you'd think I'd have something in my house that sparkles. Anyhoo- this is my wedding ring. Out of focus lol. I got lazy this morning you'll have to forgive me. It deserately needs to be cleaned. I haven't been able to wear it lately... the heat here and being knocked up has made my fingers swell up. I hate not wearing it. HATE IT! I feel naked with out it on my finger.
Photo #2: Something dull- I took 2 photos for this one. The first is of a dully colored statue type of thing I bought at Disneyworld. I collect Disney figurines and whatnot and that bitch there is my all time favorite villain / Disney character.
And the 2nd photo represents my life. Dull. Laundry and vacuming. Ooooh boy, alert the media!
Photo #3: Something colorful- This is a bear I've had since I was about 1. Notice the colorful, red devil eyes? Eek....
Thursday, June 01, 2006
I'm telling you! The baby wants POWER...and to take over the world!
I woke up this morning and went to the bathroom (who doesn't?) and had some cramping. And since my belly has never grown this much before I'm having a hard time distinguishing between belly growing type of cramping and call the doctor cramping. Thank goodness for midwives on call who don't mind answering my millions of ridiculous questions. So, I think everything is fine- but you'd think that pain in your belly region would cease once you got knocked up.
We had our first FRG meeting last night. Fun fun... well, as fun as FRG meetings can be. We talked about the upcoming deployment, block leave, what they're gonna be doing over there in the land of sand, etc.
They wanted volunteers to be like FRG leaders and people to organize get togethers and what-not... and I might sign up for the organization of parties and what not- but I didn't because I'm too politically correct.
I've never been the type of person to say "well the majority of us celecrate Christmas so we'll have a Christmas party...." I've always been the type of person to be "so the majority celebrates Christmas, big deal- what about the 2 or 3 that don't?" and then I'd spend way more time and energy than I need to making everyone happy and comfortable. I cannot (simply cannot) be like "well, the majority does this, so the rest of you just suck it up and do it too." I'm really stubborn like that.
And no I don't see anything wrong with taking everyone into consideration- that's how I was raised.
Growing up when the first gulf war was going on and on the news they'd give a toll on how many Americans died and my dad would always be like "what about the others? Americans aren't the only ones dying over there."
And I guess I've just carried that attitude with me throughout everything. I really, honestly, can't stand it when they give a number of how many died- but only our side.
Sure, we're at war- I understand that (or did you miss the whole "my husband is in the Army" thing?), but... ok maybe I should shut up before someone comments on this about how I'm the worst Army wife ever and am a disgrace to my country. rolling eyes
Forgive me for trying to be respectful and trying to be a humanitarian.
So bottom line- I spend a lot of time and energy making sure everyone's comfortable and happy... and being knocked up- that's energy I can't afford.
Ok- moving on.
I'm being watched.
This chick a week or so ago emailed me saying she was taking this college course where they were studying... something. lol
I don't remember- anyway and she wanted to use my blog for her study. So I was like SURE! Go ahead little missy (oh yes I used those exact words too.... Ok, so not those EXACT words)
So, we're being watched here.
Don't make any sudden moves!!!!!! :)
I need to stop watching cartoons.