Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Being kicked in the head is totally awesome
Ok- like I mentioned to everyone before I have been waiting in nervous anticipation for my review from the I Talk 2 Much ladies.Today my wish was granted with brutal outcomings.
Now I love (how many times must I mention that I never kiss ass? If I like something you'll know) and adore the IT2M site.
They ripped my blog to shreds but I loved it.
In my defense (since I never know how to shut the hell up about anything) I want to reply to certain things:
-I come from an Italian family (have I mentioned that before? Yeah I think so)- the blog is written in English, the title is the only thing that isn't.
-I like my marquee. Karen put it in especially for me.
-Now this is going back to the post where before my review I begged for constructive critism... I put the archives and recents posts up top because it's been drilled into my brain to not have your side bar too long. Please, give me suggestions. I'm honestly asking here.
-Horizontal scroll bar? I never noticed. I'll check it out. Anyone else notice?
-I don't have money. I can't afford my own web domain. You made it sound like I was way more excited about being on Blogspot than I am. Hehe. Hell it *does* beat livejournal anyway.
-Trust me I know what morningwood means. And that was an answer to a question Memphis Steve had for me. I need to remember that more than 2 people read my blog.
-My posts have been scarce and, let's face it stupid, lately... but I guess you missed the whole "I just had a miscarriage, I've got nothing to talk about as of late" speach, actually it was 2 miscarriages within a few months of each other, but whatever. I'm sorry you reviewed me at my boringest (yes I make up words) I don't like shoving the blame on anyone else. I will shove it on me. I am boring I fully admit that.
All in all- I loved my review. Seriously.
I submitted my site and got what I expected. I never expected the IT2M ladies to get down on their knees and kiss my ass ever.
I expected to be ripped to shreds and then some. I will work on what Bitter Bitch suggested and still sit back and like my life and my blog and except the fact that I'm boring on my blog because I'm loads of exciting fun with my husband.
So if you can withstand it I suggest submitting your site. It's like Fight Club. You get your ass complete fucked up and beat down and come out in the end refreshed and feeling awesome.
We're boring and need help
Every Friday hubby and I have "date-night," but we're (ok I'm) at a stand still. We keep doing the same crap every Friday (either watch a movie or TV at home or go see a movie)- anyone have any suggestions?In other news, I bought 2 new bras from VS.com and thought they were a different kind of bra so when they came I was oh-so dissapointed.
I have trouble reading. It's not that I can't it's that I read 2 sentances and I think I know all.
This is my punishment. These bras (soryr VS, I love you but...) are like training bras for adult women.
Then again I do have child sized boobs... hehe.
Anyhoo, here's this week's
1) How often do you call in sick to work?
-Well, I'm a home-maker so the only time I can call into work sick is when I'm actually sick. Hubby would know if I were lying or not.... lol.
2) On a scale of 1-10, how well does your spouse/so/best friend know you?
-Almost as well, probably better than, I know myself. The only things we don't know about each other are certain fantasies that run through our heads. We tell each other some fantasies- but others are ours. For ourselves alone.
3) Have you ever had sex in front of or under a mirror?
-Yes. Not a *lot* but more than twice.
4) Do you get jealous of others' good fortune?
-No. I have everything I need and want and am satisfied with who I am. Now I may get pissed at women who get loads of plastic surgery and implants because I feel they should be stronger with who THEY are and it sounds like I'm jealous and hate what I have, but really it has nothing to do with that. Some can understand what I'm saying when I go off on a rant about women with fake ass boobs, and others can't. Oh well.
5) Have you ever been a voyeur? Exhibitionist?
-To a certain degree. Who hasn't gotten off by hearing/watching someone else have sex? A part of me wants to have sex in public but the "ewww, I just can't" part of me takes over. Besides sex is for hubby and I- not for the public. It's ours.
Bonus (as in "optional"): Have you ever had sex when other non-participating adults were in the room?
-Not the room, the house yes (but they didn't know we were). Do cats count? Speaking of our cats- our cat Hermione is a sick freak! She totally wants to have a 3some with us. She licked my nipple once and licked hubby's... well.... and she's always sniffing around his pants and staring at us when we have sex. She wants us.
update
Pink's new video is fucking hilarious and I love it.
Monday, February 27, 2006
Yes sometimes girls get morningwood too
The other night I had this freaky ass (not really *that* freaky) dream that I drank poisen and didn't know it and then awoke int he Dr.'s office only for him to tell me all confused like "you've been dead for 8 years...." and then he gave me a colonoscopy. So I went to go find Stephen, naturally, but he was married with kids. Married to this... boring woman. Y'know if she were a taste she wouldn't taste bad but she wouldn't taste good, she was just blah and boring and bland. And everything about them- their house, her, him, them- was bland. There were no games or computers in the house, and she didn't let him see our friend Ron anymore (even though they live where he does). I wasn't upset or angry that he had remarried but I was a little annoyed that I kept trying to talk to MY husband and she kept coming in as though she had soemthing to do with it- like I had to share that special bond between husband and wife with *her*. I don't think so.It was one of those cold-sweat dreams. I hate those.
So of course the moral of that dream is that when I die I will haunt Stephen's new wife (if any) for the rest of her life and that those silly fucking bitches won't ever compare to me. Hehe.
People who put out movies on DVD are starting to piss me the fuck off. They put out a "special edition" DVD of a movie and then a year or so (most of the time less) they come out with a new "special edition" DVD of the movie with extra special crap. So we buy the 1st SE edition and then someone has to buy the next one because it's got new and interesting things; meanwhile we're stuck with the first SE that came out- a fabulouss reminder of a completely wasted 30.00-40.00$
So people who put out the DVDs are money-grubbing assholes taking advantage of the fact that if it's new and shiny and something he already likes my husband will buy it.
At least he's already prepared me for the fact that Star Wars is more than likely coming out with a 6 dvd set of all the movies. I can't tear him away from Star Wars. Personally, though, I don't see the point considering we already HAVE all 6 and he knows everything about Star Wars anyway.
I can't win. Princess Leia has too strong a hold on him- hehe. :) jk
Saturday, February 25, 2006
damn I hate waking up sometimes
A guy Stephen works with (and is friends with) downloaded Lost, season 2 (thus far) on CDs for us so we watched about 1/2 the episodes last night.OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Totally awesome.
Last night I had this dream that Garth Brooks was singing "To Make You Feel My Love" and then Rob Thomas jumped in and sang the rest (in a duet-ey sort of manner not like a stealing the show manner) and I was like holy crap! Garth *and* Rob, that's awesome!
And then I woke up- goddamnit!
So now I'm going to stalk Rob Thomas (like I don't already? teehee) and say stuff like "so Rob, I hear Garth Brooks really wants to do a duet with you. Go ask him..."
I'm all sorts of clever aren't I?
Stephen and I found a new favorite (wll, not favorite but totally ass kicking to the Nth degree) band called Morningwood.
Shhh he thinks I don't like them cause the lead singer is a girl- but that's my plan. I make him think I don't like certain girls and then use it against him, saying stuff like "I never said I didn't like them! You never pay attention!"
BWAHAHAHA- no I don't actually do that. But I could, 'cause I'm clever like that remember?
Anyway- Morningwood is totally awesome.
I have 2 new favorite blogs. The first I saw via Snozzberries and the second, well, I don't know how I found it but she's awesome:
UUUGGGHHH-rrr
and
Lindsey Mitchell
Update:
::Finally some encouragement::
Friday, February 24, 2006
Jafaar is making me cry....
I am one of those rare breed of people who are complete and total fucking babies.If I'm alone in my house at night I check under all the beds and in the closets and in the showers thinking that someone snuck in and is waiting for the perfect moment to pounce. Lights need to be on. Every noise makes me think someone is breaking in and any second I'm going to raped and die.
I'm so pathetic.
Oh but it gets worse.. stop laughing for 2 seconds so you can laugh so hard you'll pee your pants.
Disney movies, sometimes, scare me when I'm alone at night. Yes happy-slappy-oh-my-fucking-god-it's-so-surgary-sweet-Disney movies can make me scared.
I'm so ashamed.. ok not really I just thought I'd share my stupidity with the rest of you.
Ok, let's get to this week's Stuff Portrait Friday:
It was a strange blend of things this week....
Photo #1: The inside of your nightstand drawer- Not much, just some family photos and a note pad. Oooh.
Photo #2: A good book you've read- Ok, so I went to our bookshelf to see which one I wanted to use. I love so many books, but really when it comes down to it what book(s) make me crave more of not just the writing of the author but the story? What book(s) make me gobble up the entire book the second it hits stands?
I know they're supposed to be children's books but they're so well written and the message is true for everyone. Ebrace the dark side or DIE!!!!! hehe jk
We have the 6 of the 7 out and the History of Quidditch, and Mythical Beasts and other Creatures too. Man we are so retarded... hehe
Photo #3: Your favorite lamp- Our favorite lamp???? Okayyy. Here's the lamp on my computer desk. Very Martha Stewarty don't you think?
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Does anyone else think Cameron Diaz looks like a Barbie who's head has been squished?
It feels like Friday. Damnit.Stephen isn't going to be home until 11 tonight- that's a long ass day.
After work he has band practice then goes to play Heroclix and we don't live near any of that and traffic in Atlanta is god awful.
He and a few people in his unit put this band together. He plays down how much he misses playing the drums- but I know he's ecstatic to start playing again.
I think he and I both went through the same thing emotionally about our "craft." I left the stage 18 after practically living on it for 10 years and now doubt that if I ever wanted to go back (about 20% of me wants to go back) I wouldn't be as good as I was. The way Stephen left his band was under bad circumstances, and though he's ok with it, I think he feels rusty.
When you don' tdo something for so long you start to doubt yourself.
But now he has a new drum kit (after much nagging from me for him to get it- see wives, it works! lmao) and is playing with guys he likes. I am so proud and happy for him.
Since he's not coming home until 11 that means I get to do a Strike Force
Ok, I know that I'm going to lose a bunch of you here when I start yacking about crap most of you have no clue about (my regular readers don't play these games, for those of you visiting and do play- hi).
Ok, I love doing TFs and SFs but I usually hate being on a team because people don't fucking listen!!!!
Let me try and explain the situation. In City of Heroes (which IS different from cov for all you skeptics :)) to make a good team you need to start with one of each type of char. You need a tank to taunt and hold aggro, you need a healer (pisses me the fuck off when I invite a defender and they have no healing) for obvious reasons, a controller to hold and/or buff, a blaster for damage and sometimes holds, and a scrapper for a mix of dmg and aggro hold; after you have all of those you add more scrappers and blasters and maybe if its a hard mish you invite another healer. Simple right?
People don't get it.
Inside mishes you have 2 simple rules that every player SHOULD know- one is that you stay tight and togheter; and second is that if you're pulling goddamnit they will come to you stay the fuck around the corner!
I don't know how many times I've said "stay around the corner!" People just don't listen. Then they die, get in a huff and quit. Well I wasn't the dumbass who thought he/she was soloing a team mission. Ass fuckers.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Oooh the house is clean....
I spent literally all day yesterday cleaning the house. I cleaned out the fridge (which had spilt grape-juice all over and smelled pretty rancid). I reorganized and cleaned the laundry room. I vacumed under the bed. I ironed the sheets (ahh it was lovely to sleep in last night, and yes I iron my sheets).Ahhhh, so nice. Sometimes I hate cleaning my house, and at other times I've got the stick of cleanliness shoved so far up my ass it takes a while to get out. To be honest I'd rather clean and organize other peoples' houses. I don't know why. Not that I don't take pride in my home and don't want it to be clean. But every single home I walk into (each and every one of them) I look around and this fantasy/image pops into my head of me with yellow gloves on scrubbing away.
You know how guys can have flash fantasies of girls they see at a glance and have sex with them in their minds and it all takes a matter of seconds? That's what my cleaning houses thing is like. I walk in, and whoosh- clean house!
lmao.
Anyhoo- did anyone watch Dr. Phil yesterday?
Let me get into my "crossed arms, scowl on face, you just pissed off a feminist" posistion. Ok- first off, I think if someone is goign to come into someone's work and criticize their job and how they do that job they should get off their lazy asses and try doing that job. Her husband is not her boss. She doesn't go to his job and look over his shoulder and tell him what to do right and what to do better. She doesn't know how to do his job. If he wants something done he should get off his lazy fucking ass and do it. It's not like the house was falling down in disgust. And they had 3 children (was it 3 or 2?)! This woman is a stay at home mom trying to make her house perfect for her husband while doing the ever non-stop job of being a stay at mom. Oh, and then the guy would come home and see his wife busy with the kids and sigh and whine that she doesn't want to go to dinner. I mean yeah, I'd jump at the chance to go to dinner with hubby after we have kids- but he needs to realize that being a parent doesn't end at a certain time and you can't just be like "ok! 5:00! My job's done!"
I think she apreciates how hard he works and he couldn't get it through his thick skull that she's working hard too.
Personally I think that if you're a stay at home mom or home-maker, when the husband gets off work and is home then you're both off and the house resppncibilities are even and taken care of by both husband and wife (or husband and husband, wife and wife- whatever your situation).
Even though hubby and I have had discussions about our jobs and roles in the house (and a few extremely heated arguments) that guy on Dr. Phil would make any woman appreciate her husband for not coming in and doing what that guy did.
You have to expect changes in a marriage. A marriage is not 2 single people living together and having sex and sharing bills. You change, grow and adapt. You need to expect that. No you don't lose who you are (if you do, that's wrong and you need to step back and reavaluate), you become the best version of you.
Ahhh now I have to listen to matchbox twenty's Bent. Oh I love that song.
Favorite band- they need to get back together so they can tour again- damnit!
What mbt has to do with that guy on Dr. Phil, I don't know. except that Bent is all about changing when you're married.
A Military Mom lost her son, David. Please if you can take the 2 seconds to offer your condolences.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
I'm a'sceered Betsy!
A while ago I sumbitted my site (was I driunk?!) for review at the I Talk 2 Much site.I can feel my review coming up soon.
Eeek.
Ok, I go to that site religiously (no I'm not kissing ass, I really do go there every day). What I don't get are the people who submit their blogs blindly. I just mean that there are people out there who submit their blogs and are insanely confused as to why they got a bad review. As if they were the most witty, and their blog design were the greatest. I mean, they submitted their site and put it in the hands of reviewers notorious for tearing blogs to shreds (and imo are usually right on the money with their criticisms) and then they act surprised when their blog isn't put up on a throne for all to bow to?
Personally I submitted my site to get ideas of how to make it better (ok, now I'm hinting).
But I can feel my review drawing closer, so I will sit here patiently (ie obsessed, nail biting to the knuckle, squealing in anticipation) for my review.
Ok, I'm going to do this week's TMI and that'll be all for today. Because of the pregnancy, miscarriage, and vacation, I've been sick, depressed, and gone so I haven't thoroughly cleaned my house in I don't know how long (I haven't busted out the vacume in forever- I know! *gasp*)- so today I'm "spring cleaning" and I don't have time to look around at blogs much today (so I'm sorry if I don't read yours).
1) Have you ever made obscene phone calls?
-Like crank-calling? No. Well I did, but goddamn we were bad at it! We'd pick a phone number to call and say stupid crap like "Um, yeah your pizza is ready...."
Can we say fucking stupid? As for sexually obscene? I text message hubby every now and then.... But nothing too obscene. In fact it's not obscene at all. More like a "lets have sex when you get home" type of message. Oooh that'll get him going... snort.
2) Have you ever played a game which may require you or others to disrobe?
-Yes, there's always the ever popular game of showering.... hehehe. The first time hubby and I saw each other naked however was kind of like a "well if you took your shirt off I'm gonna take mine off too, that'll show you!" Yes, we are strange....
3) Have you ever placed a personal ad or answered a personal ad?
-Nope.
4) Have you ever bought/read books to enhance sexual technique?
-Yes. At first I was like reading everything that said "this is what your man wants!" Ladies, a word of advice- throw all those out. That was a waste of time and money. The best way to find out how to be a better lover for your partner is to keep trying new things with them. If they like it, great, make a mental note- if they don't like it, great, make a mental note.
It's hard though- because when it comes to that sort of stuff I have to be the best- I need to leave all the others wayyyyyy fucking far behind. I haven't accepted the fact that I can't yet.
5) Have you ever actually measured your own or someone else's penis?
-Not really- I've asked before and have participated in a "penis measuring ceremony," but I, myself, did not do it. It doesn't matter to me really any more. I honestly have no idea how many inches hubby is- I don't need to know.
Bonus (as in "optional"): Have you ever phoned up any phone sex numbers, or participated in phone sex?
-Phone sex- yes. Those phone sex numbers- no. Phone sex becomes essential and a lot of fun when that's the type of sex you're forced to do (not forced like rape you sickos).
Update
A Military Wife's Prayer:
Lord,
Give me the strength of heart to see
The difference in duty and his love for me
Give me the understanding to know
That when duty calls, he must go
Give me the patience to know in my heart
That he is serving his country and doing his part
Give me the strength to carry on
When he's working late or must be gone
Give me a task to do each day
To fill the time while he is away
Give me others who can share
The ups and downs and who'll really care
Give me the wisdom to get me through
When I'm not quite sure of what to do
And Lord, while our family is here
Keep us healthy, safe and full of cheer.
Monday, February 20, 2006
Stephen has today off (hooray for 4 day weekends!) so we're going to spend the day playing WOW, but he's at the store now picking up shaving cream, soda, and wine so I'm blogging while watching 7 Brides for 7 Brothers.Oh yes, add theater/musical dork to the list of all the types of dork I am, lol.
My sisters and I (yes more wierd crap we did) used to twist the stem off of apples saying the alphabet and whatever letter we landed on that's what brother we'd marry (of course we all tried to land on B of F- Benjamin or Frank, hubba hubba).
Ok, so I've gotten loads of people asking me why I haven't said anything about Cheney shooting a fellow hunter on my blog. Well, what can say? I personally think hunting is wrong and immoral, but I'm not going to lower myself to levels I protest. Meaning I'm not going sit here and lay into hunters and call them all evil and what not and say "see? This is what happens."
I want to say something about the new t-shirt and logo thing I've been seeing everywhere- the "I'd rather hunt with Cheney" one, but I'm not going to.
I'm not going to be that person.
So I'll just shake my head and roll my eyes and think to myself "man the dictionary sure gets it right, thank god I'm liberal."
btw, my mom is an Italian-Mexican Catholic and therefore the queen of guilt trips- that's where I get it from. lol
Sometimes I want to "let myself go" and such just so I can get one of those make-overs on TV, lol. I mean, don't you?
I have no secrets but I want to send something in to the Post A Secret site- lol.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
You can't deny we're dorks...
When hubby and I went to Disneyworld- our favorite part of Epcot (other than the different countries)? This space video game after you get out of the Mission Space ride (which I never rode because I'm a big baby and I get sick too easily).Ok, if you've been to Epcot you know what I'm talking about. There's this game where you have 2 teams and you're trying to put colored boxes into the same color slots to "fix the ship" to make it go faster and then you have people who are making and uploading the color boxes for you and you have to work as a team.
Ok, hubby and I played that like 10 times. We are such retards. We sit and play COV and WOW all day when we're home then we go to Disneyworld to play more video games?
Man we're pathetic! Hehe.
Did anyone see that jack'n'Ass who was the first black person win a gold medal this winter olympics? No he wasn't an ass because he was the first black to win a gold this olympics (calm down you huffers and puffers). He's an ass because of the way he was acting.
Olympic athletes you always think to be a special, rare, and humble breed. They're the best and they've always been humble about it.
But this guy was a cock. Saying he didnt' need his team and acted like he wasn't happy at all about winning the gold as if his presence was enough to just be handed the gold.
Just sad.
I'd sit here and complain and bullshit about more stuff but I'm scheduled to do a respec in about 15 minutes and I need to go torture my cats.
Friday, February 17, 2006
God my legs hurt / or get the fuck away from me you goddamn people!!!!!!!!!!
We just got back from Disneyworld. Now, Disney is very professional and lovely and I adore them- but I fucking hate people. So first off I will be complaining about stupid goddamn fuckers.This is going to be a pretty long post (DW trip coverage, I missed a tmi, etc) so settle in and get a snack now....
First off, if you are going to go to Disneyworld (or any place where there are going to be masses of people) do NOT do the following:
-do NOT use the following to push and shove your way through the crowd:
.strollers
.wheelchairs
.your big fat fucking ass
-do NOT throw a hissy fit because the lines are long. You're at disneyworld for fuck's sake
-do NOT complain every 2 seconds
-do NOT make a scene
-do NOT try and inch your way passed people in line to get closer, we aren't stupid, wait in line like the rest of us, you are NOT special asshole.
To talk a bit more on those rules... as for the first one (ahem...) if you are slightly over weight because you've had kids or you have a medical condition, etc, that's fine. No one carse. I'm not saying you need to start starving yourself and running 20 miles a day. But there is a HUGE difference between being slightly over weight and not being able to walk through a doorway. If you are that heavy that is no one's fault but your own. And that is NOT a goddamned excuse to get a fucking wheelchair at a theme park. Maybe if you started walking more..... and for all you people out there starting to whine that people that big need wheelchairs because they have health problems now and wah wah wah- again, who got that big in the first place? Not my fault. Don't your fatness as an excuse to get on a fucking wheelchair and barge your way through a crowd.
There was this guy there from NY (not that it matters, I just threw in some more info- he had brown hair too...) who was making hissy fit baby scenes at every opportunity.
We were in line to get in to the Magic Kingdom (the happiest place on Earth and Disney has a well trained staff who are always professional), and his admission card wasn't working (no big deal, maybe somethign to do with the magnetic strip) so he started to act like a big loud baby. The girl, sweet as she could be, at the line said "well sir if you'd like to come with me I'll talk to you so-n-so" probably a manager so he started crying again and says in a rather rude tone "no! you bring him to me!"
What a fucking dildo.
Goddamnit I hate people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to buy out fucking disneyworld and go there by my fucking self. lmao. I swear, if I win the lottery I am so doing that (*is now remembering the South Park episode where Cartman buys a theme park, lol*)
Other than that- it was a marvelous trip tra la laaa.
For those of you who don't know I collect Disney snow globes and figurines (not all, I'm pretty picky about what I add to my collection- da-hork, that's me!) and Sleeping Beauty is my all time favorite Disney movie (Malificent being my favorite villain and char from that movie next to Merriwether). So I found this really kick ass box of Malficent sitting on her throne, holding her crow (or raven, I think it's a crow though) and her guards around her and inside the box is a tiny little pin of the 3 fairies. It's sooo awesome.
I don't care what age you are, every girl has her favorite Disney princess and you see them at Disneyworld (or disneyland) you get a twinge and a slight rush of omg! there she is! eeeeek!!!)- for me it's Sleeping Beauty.
We saw Woody and Sally there too signing autographs and it took all my strength to not run over there and wrap my arms around Woody.
You don't find a lot of just Sleeping Beauty stuff, she's usually with other princesses....
There was this one Malificent figuring for 750.$- ummm, sorry, don't have that kind of cash. And there was a whole set that was totally fucking awesome. It was the 3 fairies as one figuring, Aurora's mom holding Aurora as a baby as another figuring, King Stefan as one and Malificent as one- they only sold it as a set for 1,125$. Um as awesome as that is and as much as I wanted it- I can't fork over that kind of cash! Crazy....
Ok, let me get to the TMI I missed (sorry it took so long Lizzie):
1) Have you ever been caught in the act?
-No. Not really. But there was one time at his parents house where we came in pretty late (we were visiting) and the next morning his mom said she thought she heard us come in cause she'd heard some "noises".... *cough*
2) If your Valentine were to give you only one thing today, what would you want it be?
a clean house and a meal!
3) What is the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to you?
-hmmmm, let me think. Probably "honey, relax, I'll do it"- reow
4) Have you ever participated in car aerobics (sex)?
-no, I would but I don't want to get into an accident!
5) What was the special trait in your first lover that made you decide that they were "the one?"
-he was a vegetarian and really cared about it
Bonus (as in "optional"): Have you ever made a sex movie or let your so take nude photos of you?
no movie, but I have taken sooo many naked photos.....
Update
"...I am a liberal, not because of the way I vote, but because I have taken on the burden of loving, caring, and working to ensure that others can enjoy the freedom that I do."
Friday, February 10, 2006
Picasso loved him some boobies
It's Friday (duuhhherrrr) so here are my photos for this week's SPF, hosted this week by DallasKs.quick side note- usually I take fairly good pictures but I was being a lazy-ass this morning so I apologize for the poor picture quality
Photo #1: What you love most about your home-
I love 2 things about my home equally. 1st is my Dyson. Ever have sex with a vacume cleaner!? lmao. It's purple (a color I never liked until my Dyson), and magically delicious! It never clogs! And picks up EVERYthing! 2nd is our Picasso. No, it's not real (do I look like a billionaire to you?!). It's a plate-signed lithograph of Picasso's Family at Saltimbanques. I adore, and love Picasso's work oh so much. I could go to a museum, sit in front of one of his peices and stare at it all day. The brush strokes alone are just pure genius. The way he held his brushes. Every stroke is just magnificent. For those of you who think he just did child's art and hey I can do that- you for one don't know Picasso's body of work, and second are crazy. lol.
For those of you who dont' know what plate-signed means it just means that Picasso signed the plate that was used to stamp the lithograph. I have a fucking Picasso- the world's greatest painter.... sorry I just sometimes get all giddy and amazed about it....
Photo #2: What do you love least about your home-
This is a picture of our water heater. We live in an apt building and the hot water lasts about 10 minutes. If I need wash clothes or run the dishwasher forget taking a shower. And god forbid someone take a shower at the same time in the other bathroom... ugh!
Photo #3: What do you love most about yourself- Ok, I love a lot of stuff about my body, 3 things in particular,but 2 I can't take photos of (well I can I just don't want to share them with the public). 1st, I love my boobies. I know it may seem like I don't sometimes. That I'm jealous of chicks with bigger boobs- but yeah though I want them to be bigger I still adore my own. They're perfectly shaped (*perfectly*), they don't sag yet and they're squishy. My sisters and I have this thing for our boobs, we think it's relaxing to sit there and play with their squishiness. 2nd is my ass. Not to toot my own horn but I have an awesome ass. I just do- trust me. lol. And 3rd (the photo one) is my long ass nose. Now most people would hate having a seriously great hooter of a nose, and I used to when I was little. But then I realized something- I come from a large Italian family full of long noses and I'm proud of my family and where I come from. I love my nose now.
So there you have it; this week's SPF.
Stephen and I are leaving for Disneyworld pretty early in the morning tomorrow so I won't be posting for about a week. Don't cry- I'll be back. :)
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Trying to make up for that boring and shitty-ass last post.
Ok, first of all there was a six year old suspended from school for, brace yourselves, sexual harrassment.big sigh
Ok fuckers let me try and explain to you how this sexual harrassment thing works.
Sexual harrassment is when a man (or woman) makes a woman (or man) feel uncomfortable in a sexual way (ie- a man says "hey baby I like your shirt while brushing his fingers over your boobies at work). The woman (or man) will then tell the person "hey I don't like that, don't do that sort of thing again, it's inappropriate." and then they keep doing it- that's sexual harrassment.
A fucking 6 year old *tickling* a little girl classmate on the hip/waist is NOT sexual harrassment.
If we cry wolf for every goddamn thing that happens what's going to happen to the woman who's actually sexually harrassed?
Trust me, being stalked and harrassed is NOT fun (I had this guy stalk me at work and one time he pushed me pretty hard into a wall at work and kept telling me that that no one would know if he ripped my clothes off right then and there. I had to tell my manager every time he came in and the bosses there basically kicked him out every time).
There are jerk-ass men in the world who think a woman's ass is their own personal property. A 6 year old doesn't think like that (yet, hopefully never).
Anyhoo in other news- damn some people are stupid. Not like me who's oh so witty, charming and damn intelligent. Hehe.
I don't watch the show Bones but apparently last night they had an episode about LARPers. For those of you don't know a LARPer is a Live Action Role Player. Basically a person who plays D&D but acts out what they're gonna do. So the show made it seem like LARPers are evil and that D&D is the devil and some people take it too far.
Oh my fucking god- have you people never met someone who LARPed? D&D is not the devil's game, it's not evil.... That's just as stupid as people thinking that if you read Harry Potter you're going to hell (meet you all there!).
Come on now people, there are actual serious issues to worry about. Trust me, role playing is NOT something to worry about. Unless you're one of those parents who want their kid to be popular and not geeky at *all*.
Role playing evil..... LMAO, man that's some funny shit.
Yoda won't stop staring at me....
So now everyone knows we lost the baby. Hubby's parents were out of the country for a coference type of thing and couldn't call us back on their cells so last night they called us back. His mom asked me what was new and I just froze. I couldn't say it, so I just said "here, talk to Stephen."Not exactly the way you're supposed to talk to your MIL but I'm sure she understands the situation and such.
I wish I could think of something better to talk about- but I'm boring, hehe.
I'd ask for opinions on something but hubby reads my blog (don't worry honey).
This is how boring we are- I cleaned the house yesterday, made spagetti sauce, and played the Sims for a bit. Hubby came home, we told each other about our days while he changed his clothes. I made dinner (pasta, with meat sauce for him, regular for me). Then we watched Silence of the Lambs and then AI and then the Chappelle Show and went to bed.
Oooooh boy.
Ok ok ok- I know I make it sound like I'm bored out of my mind, but in actuality I'm not.
I love what we do and hubby and I would rather just *be* with eachother.
Plus yesterday all the girls in his office voted us the best married couple. lmao
Ok ok ok so they didn't really have a vote I'm just retarded. No, but yesterday one of the guys Stephen works with asks the girls of the office what they say about my hubby behind his back and they said they think he has the best marriage.
Poor girls, little do they know that we hate eachother! lmao jk.
Ok, I know what to say...
I fucking hate people who have "photo blogs" but all the photos are taken with a crappy point and click and they're crappy photos. Just because you have a camera and you take a photo in b&w doesn't make it artistic or even good. So don't call your blog a "photo blog" if your mommy got you a camera for Christmas and you think you're dark, deep and mysterious but deep down you just have no talent for the subject.
I love photo blogs- real ones. I love looking at photography, but I'm just sick of coming across pathetic excuses.
Oh yeah- AND, why the fuck do men get all excited when they think about lesbians, well some men.
Ok- I'll talk slow so you'll understand....
Lesbians are girls who like girls. Lesbians are turned on by vaginas not penises.
Men have penises not vaginas.
Why again do you think that lesbians will want to have sex with another woman and a man? Take out the man part and you'll have it.
Lesbians don't want to have sex with men so why do men keep thinking that they do?
Does that make sense to anyone!? Or am I just slow and don't get it?
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
this post would be better but I'm nervous and need to pee...
1) AI last night... first off, when someone says they're going to sing a Josh Groban song I will always roll my eyes and think "you moron. You honestly think you can sing ANYwhere remotely close to the level that Josh Groban can sing?" and I automatically don't like them and don't want them to go through. I'm kind of bitchy when it comes to people singing certain artists' music. I feel it shouldn't and can't be done. Well last night I shoved my foot in my mouth so far back I was stunned for a good 3 minutes.This little boy (literally, he was a child) comes in the room and says he's going to sing You Raise Me Up. *Insert doubt here*
This kid who god must've been fucking 10 (lol), sure he wasn't on the level of Josh Groban (who captured the Gods and swallowed them whole) but goddamn this kid was close. He looked like some kid on the farm and then he sang. I was shocked and now I love this kid and want him to win. This kid, yes Simon was right, is not right for this sort of competition. But the kid can sing and someone somewhere needed to hear his voice.
2) Ok, you guys know that I'm all for speaking your mind especially politically. I think we should and we have a duty to our country to do so; however there is a time and place for everything. You wouldn't have a meeting with a lawyer in the middle of busy nightclub right? Time and place for everything.
As much as I dislike Dubya I think it was extremely disrespectful to start "bush-bashing" during Corretta Scott King's funeral.
I adore the King family and have a respect for them more than I have respect for anyone else on the planet. They were apolitical. They just cared about what was right, fair, and just and that meant being kind and respectful to your fellow (wo)man. They didn't sell the left and they didn't sell the right.
I adore the King family and I hate it when people hear, not listen, and twist words around. I hate it when anyone twists another's words around for they're own benefit. But I especially hate it when they do it to Ghandi, the King family and Jesus. The people I admire more than any other.
no, I'm not Christian, you guys know that. I respect the guy, but I don't worship him or think he's a god
3) 3 more days until we leave for Disneyworld!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
mmmm threesome
The good thing about not being pregnant? Drinking soda! Ahhhhhhhhh Coke, I missed you old friend. And different flavored Smirnoff Ices, mmm tastey!However, though I'm a million times better now, I had a major breakdown last night. I couldn't, and maybe didn't want to, accept the fact that we'd had 2 miscarriages until last night when I had my "oh shit we really did" moment. You know your husband loves you when you wake him up at 1am with uncontrollable crying and he holds you until you're alright and he has to leave for work at 5:30am.
I've accepted the fact- but I'm still struggling with trying to understand it. We're both healthy, we're nice and considerate of others....
Anyway... let's get to this week's
1. How many credit cards do you own? Are they paid off?
-We have 1. And pay exacty half the bill when it comes.
2. Have you ever been to a strip club?
-No, but I've done a strip tease (ok, maybe 2...)
3. When was the last time you split the uprights?
-I think I understand the question. Sort of. I think I want to say last night but because I don't understand the question fully I'm not going to answer
4. What's the best pickup line you've ever heard?
-Is there such a thing? lmao. I think hubby just "picked me up" by being himself. The night he asked me out we were watching a movie (he was friends with my brother-in-law, err is. lol) and he genuinely loved the movie and wanted to share it's funniness with me. So he did. Maybe it was some big elaborate plan to get me go out with him but I think he was just testing my sense of humor. He picked me up by making me laugh.
5. Tell us about your most nightmareish date ever.
-Oh dear fucking god! The pain!!!! Long story- here we go. In college I was in the library studying when this guy (who looked just like Val Kilmer) comes up to me and asks me out. I said no. A week later I'm walking out of class and the same guy stops me and asks me out. But not in a "again" sort of way, but like a "he thinks he never asked me out," kind of way. So obviously he asks out anything with boobs and a vagina- strike one. So why the fuck did I say yes? Someone get a time machine, go back to that moment and slap me.
The night of the date he was an hour late and showed up in torn jeans and a stained shirt. It's ok if you can't afford new clothes- but could you at least wash the ones you have? So he took me to this seedy place where all these people who looked like they were on drugs were gambling on horse races. So then he asked it I wanted to go back to his place and watch a movie (again, time machine person, I need some slapping). So we got there and- oh I totally forgot! Before the date he told me how his sister died. So me being the girl I am I said "oh I'm sorry, are you ok?" and he was like "yeah, but was so recent the pain is still fresh."
So at his place was a picture of his sister and I'm like, again I'm so sorry she died. So he says "it's ok, it was like 3 years ago!!!" Fucking liar!
Then he tried turning off lights and lighting candles. So I was like "turn the light back on." Then he tried to make out with me and fucking cop a feel of my boobies (or maybe he was trying to see if I had any cause they're so small lmao jk). So I just went cold fish. I made it perfectly clear that I wasn't going to make out with him, let alone have sex with him. So after he realized he wasn't getting any he took me home. I thanked him (I'm a polite person after all) and gave him a small peck on the cheek in the car, he tried to lean in for more (can we say stupid?) but I backed away, said goodnight again and got out. But here's the clencher- the door wasn't even all the way shut before he raced off (so fast I had to jump back or else be run over). Good luck to the woman that finds *that* guy!
Bonus (as in "optional"): Ever done a threesome (or more)?
-No, unless an ex-boyfriend sleeping with someone else while still dating and sleeping with you is considered a 3some. Seriously though, if I weren't married my total threesome fantasy is me, Rob Thomas and Giada deLaurentiis. And maybe, if they want to join I'll invite Sean Patrick Thomas and The Donnas and Tim McGraw to join.
Wow that's a big ole orgy! That would be terrible if actually done in real life. lmao
Saturday, February 04, 2006
5 hours in the emergency room makes you have the best sleep....
Well my darlings before I start blabbering on about last night I'll just get right to the point of my story (just in case some of you don't want to hear me yack on and on to hear the end result)...Stephen and I lost the baby last night.
We're fine. No really we are.
Ok, here's what happened- as most of you know I had started spotting a bit last Monday and had been spotting off and on since then. Last night however I had to change my paper thin pad like 3 times in the middle of the night. Then the back pain kicked in followed by a shooting leg pain and I could swear I was going to throw up.
So after some discussion, Stephen called 911 to see if we needed to go to the ER- the lady said yes definately go.
So we got there and the flood gates opened. I have never bled that much in my life. The hospital gave me one of those fun diapers (what the hell did I care, I was in pain, couldn't walk and knew we were losing the baby I didn't care about my looks- then again I never do lol) and I soaked right through the diaper.
The took me to my exam room and did a pelvic exam. Right before though I shifted my weight and felt a large gush of blood come out and then I just knew.
There was this huge sense of relief. Not like "oh thank god the baby's dead," but my body was in so much pain and discomfort that after the baby had passed there was just a sense of "ahhh it's over."
I know it's not like giving birth really- but in a way it felt like it. Only we have no baby to take home.
They gave me an ultrasound just to make sure because the doctor said that you can bleed that much and it not be a miscarry (a small gleam of hope even though Stephen and I both knew the answer).
After I passed the baby all I wanted to do was go home, get into my own bed and cuddle with hubby. But it took for-e-ver!
Finally we made it home though and I swear that was the best sleep I've had in years.
You know the kind of sleep after you've cried yourself yourself to sleep and you can't cry anymore- your bed seems so much more comforting and inviting.
After such a draining experience that's when you have the best sleep.
So we'll try again, of course. 3rd time's the charm right? lol. But we won't be telling *any*one until Stephen and I see or hear something for sure.
I think we're just sick of telling people we lost the baby. Seems like we've said "we lost the baby" more times than we've said "hey we're knocked up!" Which is stupid since we've said them both an equal amount of times. It just feels like that.
Friday, February 03, 2006
I am slowly but surely boring you all to death with the same crap about blood....
1) Ok, it's probably just because I'm pregnant and my hormones are all out of wack but I'm going through this oh my fucking god worrying thing.... Ok, the fact that I'm bleeding is enough to make any pregnant woman worry. The first day was fine but every day after that too? That can't be right. But I can't let myself worry until Monday when we get the ultrasound. To be honest I'll be surprised (and overjoyed) if we see and hear a baby.There's way more I'm worried about but I don't want to go on and on about all that. I've talked to hubby about it so it's not like I'm sitting here worrying and no one knows why.
Ok, I'm sick of talking about all that crap....
2) Is there a person alive who doesn't like "Baby Got Back?" That song is fucking awesome. And funny. Hehe. Did you guys see that one Friends episode where Rachel was getting mad at Ross for singing that song to their daughter? Ok, Rachel obviously never heard that song 'cause she was all bitching about how offensive to women. No it's not! I mean there's a line in the song about how natural is better and silicone just doesn't do it, and the song is pro-EAT SOME FOOD BITCH. How is that offensive?
3) Last night I dreamed that I was feeding the baby but I had to lube up my nipple for feed her... what the fuck was that about!? lmao.
Update
Ok, I decided to not be lazy and play Stuff Portrait Friday:
#1: The game *I* play- City of Heroes and City of Villains are both *my* game. Hubby doesn't play anymore (he doesn't like killing people, fucking pansy- lol jk).
#2: Your family game- World of Warcraft is our "family" game- the game hubby and I both play. We play a ton of other games together but this is the one we play the most together:
#3: *Our* game- ok well I was confused about this. WOW is "our game," but we do like a rousing game of "hide the pickle" (hehe, well *I* think I'm funny), and there's the game Stephen plays "what can I say to make her cry with laughter?" He always wins at that game.... But I have the game of pulling his boxers down when he's walking by.... that's a fun game.
Oh wait! I get it now! After looking at other peoples' SPFs I finally understand #3- so here are *our* games (and you thought you played games... fools! lol):
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Thursday, February 02, 2006
Obviously you can't have one or the other
1) I thought I was pregnant... so why the hell am I wearing this pad? Don't worry you guys, I'm still pregnant (sick and tired as ever) but I spot a little bit every day- not enough to fill up a pad but just enough to ruin my clothes.I'm sure all the guys are loving this post so far, lol.
I mean hello! I thought I was pregnant! The reason for getting knocked up is to NOT have periods!
hehe, jk.... sort of ;)
2) So Stephen and I watched this fucking awesome documentary last night called Murderball. It was awesome. It's all about quad-rugby. Ok, these guys are quadriplegic (did I spell that right?), in wheelchairs and could totally kick our asses and then run us over with their tank like wheelchairs.
I just hope that we ever have a kid who's handicap (god forbid) that they're as strong and as awesome as those guys. They were so independent. Not a one was whining about getting in and out of their car to drive somewhere. They just fucking did it. Sure it was probably hard getting used to everything, but they didn't just lay down and say "I can't... you do it."
3) Have you guys seen that commercial of that chick listening to the Black Eyed Peas' "My Humps" while trying clothes on? Don't you think they should've and could've gotten someone who didn't have a flat ass to be in that commercial? She had no ass! She had pancake ass! I've got more gadunkadunk than she does! lol.
4) The Cranky Liberal wrote a great commentary about the State of the Union Address.
Don't just *talk* about a cleaner enviroment and hope it happens....
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Mr. Derr rides again
Ok you guys know that is NOT a political blog in any way, but this is where I come to bitch about some of the things the other side does and says. So with that in mind here's the first part of my post:In Dubya's State of the Union Address last night.... oh lord I'm not even going to bother.
All I'm going to say is- How again does bombing Iraq help us find Osama? Wait, where is Osama?
Don't have the almighty war stick up your ass? You're unAmerican and a coward. smirks or makes the famous "dubya face."
The economy? You want to talk about the economy you greedy little man? How does having a "me me me it's all for ME!" attitude help our economy? I mean I don't think I was ever the person whining about paying taxes. Our taxes help pay for things our society needs. God forbid we start thinking about others and not just ourselves and the money WE made. Are kids starving because of taxes? Or are they going to school?
I am sooo glad you think that "...our greatness is not measured in power or luxuries, but by who we are and how we treat one another"
considering you have millions and gave a big ass tax break to the other 2% of millionaires and billionaires. And don't tell me how to treat another human being, other wise you're just being hypocritical.
Let's see how many people can blame Clinton for this post....
Ok... I'm done with my rant I know I said I wouldn't get into anything. I didn't think I would. Let's move on shall we?
Let's talk about something light and fluffy.
Like My Little Ponies! Awww- I loved my My Little Pony. She was lovely. White with blue and purple and silver mane with a picture of a moon on her ass. I named her Moonbeam (I had a wild imagination... lol). I was more into MLPs and Pound Puppies than Care Bears. We had some.... but bears don't top horses!
I still have my Pound Puppy... CoCo.
It's sad when you're best childhood friend is a stuffed dog. I still get that feeling of electicity and home when I think about my Pound Puppy. I know I know that she's just a toy- but I developed a relationship with that damn dog. She was my security blanket and believe me when I say I needed her.
Did you guys ever have a toy or item that was that meaningful to you?
Update
Ok, so I was at the BlogExplosion counter thing... you people are sick! Here are a few searches people have put in and found my site:
Penelope Cruz having sex...
Come fuck my sexy wife...
"Need to vomit" + sex...
WTF!?
