Tuesday, January 31, 2006
bloody hoo-hahs and the men who love them....
So I'm not too worried about spotting yesterday. The doctor said I'd have to bleed a whole bunch more and clots to come out for it to be considered a miscarriage. So I'm not too worried. Not all the way okay about it though- I did bleed during pregnancy afterall.Anyhoo- let's get to this week's
TMI:1. Have you ever been addicted to anything?
-Yes. Coke (I used to drink a 12 pack of coke a day) and now hubby's kisses. I'm so cheesey but it's true- I need a kiss fix every day. lol
2. Who wears the pants in your family?
-We both do equally. He does on certain issues and I do on certain issues. Not one of us tries to control the other and we respect the other enough to better ourselves and make the othre happy.
3. What do you do to relieve stress?
-Sex is good. I like to walk. And then if I'm really annoyed or mad at something I tend to want to hurt something. Throw, break, punch a wall, etc.
4. Do you enjoy reading sensual literature?
-Yeah, I've never liked looking at porn (to me it's all the same- she'll go down on him, he'll go down on her, he'll do her in the vagina and then the butt, ooh boy so exciting...) But I do like to read porn- it's much more exciting. Not that retarded romance novel crap where some kid takes the princess to a stable or some shit like that.
5. How often do you "blow up?"
Usually I have the regular orgasms (we are talking about that right and not blowing up dolls or something?) where you go up, reach the peak, and come down. I've had the mind blowing, black out, where the hell am I, goddamn I need a cigarette orgasm once. leave it to me to be the only one to give the "sex" answer....
Bonus (as in "optional"): Ever had a one night stand?
-Almost a few times. I would usually come to my senses and stopped before I went all the way with someone I don't know. Guys can fuck n' go and not really worry about anything if they have a condom. Girls have to think about so much more. We're the ones who might get pregnant. We're the ones who worry the next day about the guy calling, was that it, or should we call him. Sex is never "just sex." But sometimes you just want to fuck someone without all the bullshit. I've never been that type of girl though.
UPDATE
The Cranky Liberal and the rest of the Bring It On gang are helping a non-profit organization to help raise money to help soldiers buy body armor by selling bumper stickers, t-shirts, etc.
The organization is called Bake Sales for Body Armor.
If you'd like to email the creator, Tammara Rosenleaf, email her at: tammara@bakesalesforbodyarmor.com
To donate via Bring it On, go here and get a bumper sticker or t-shirt and show your support for the troops.
I know what you're all thinking- liberal? helping troops? Oh yes, it IS possible.
Monday, January 30, 2006
Well that was scary
Had my first pregnancy/Dr's appointment today and had some spotting on the way there.That was loads of fun! I'll get my first ultrasound next Monday. Hopefully everything is honkeedori.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
A threesome with Bob Sagat and the Olsen twins, Amongst other crap
Ok, last night for date night Stephen and I rented 2 movies (well, 2 documentaries if we're being picky here). Grizzly Man and the Aristocrats.Ok- the Aristocrats... watching Full House will be sooo much more interesting now that I've seen that. Hehe.
The Grizzly Man... ok I have just one thing to say to
"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Those people aren't REAL enviromentalists and give REAL enviromentalists, like me, (the people who actually want to help preserve and protect nature) a bad name.
Seriously you guys should see this documentary- this guy (who btw got eaten by grizzly bears) is fucking insane. He was approaching wild grizzly bears as though they were dogs or cats. He thought that he was *one of them!* I can't even describe to you how fucking retarded this guy was. I'm all for trying to protect them from hunters and what-not- but this guy was trying to blur the line between domesticated and wild. You can't do that. In fact I think that he actually thought that he *had* blurred that line and was excepted as a "bear."
That guy seriously needed to stop watching so many fucking Disney movies.
Oh but the best part was that he could NOT stand who he was- his true self.
Ok this guy was gayer than a rainbow and he kept saying stuff like "if I were gay, but I'm not. Yup, this guy likes women" over and over- which can only mean one thing
"hellllooooooooo! I'm gay!" Trust me you saw him you'd think he was gay too.
Not that there's anything wrong with being gay- but there's something wrong with hating yourself so much and trying to convince people that you're not who you really are.
And he was a liar. On his tapes he kept saying, over and over, how alone he was. When infact his girlfriend was there the whole time!
This guy seriously.... wow.
Update
K, I stole this joke from Meagan:
A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him. The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her (as all men will). Before she could offer her apologies for so rudely staring, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00.... on one condition." (There are always conditions)Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. Then he replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." (controlling, huh?) The woman considered his proposition for a moment, then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly, and meaningfully said....
"Clean my house."
Bwahahahaa!
Ok, One time, I don't know what made me think of this- one time in HS this chick and I and a few other people were talking about masterbation and she said "yeah if you take any less than 10 minutes to cum you're not doing it right." So I thought to myself "well that's a load of crap."
Now see in HS I was the Catholic virgin chick. I was so sweet and innocent. What? I still am. Sex? Huh? What's that? *batting eyelashes*
But even I knew that was a load of donkey jizz. See I think people mix sex with someone else and sex by yourself up. Sex by yourself is quick. You go in touch all the right spots have your moment and then you're done. Sex with someone else shouldn't be short "wam bam thank you mam" (yes I did just say that). 'Cause it's rude and selfish (unless you're in an elevator).
Am I wrong about this? I mean do you go in and caress yourself for 10 minutes before getting into the actual motion of making yourself orgasm?
What the hell is wrong with me? I'm gonna go color. Hehe
Friday, January 27, 2006
In a *really* fucking weird mood
Ok, before I tell you guys about my next crazy ass pregnancy dream let me tell you about this kid last night.Ok, so Stephen
It was just really cool. Plus there were a ton of girls there (well, more girls than usual in a game shop). Including me there were 5.
Ok, let me get to this weird ass dream.
Ok, I was in Clint and Katy's car going somewhere with them. I have no idea where Emily was but in was in the backseat with Ethan and Steven- making Ethan crack up. And then Clint and Katy started having this stupd fight about god knows what and then... out of the blue... Clint... punches Katy. Making her swerve and ... oh it was soooooo weird. I mean, the day Clint lays even a hair of a pinky on Katy is the day my husband squeezes a baby out of his penis. And then the next part of my dream was that Stephen left for Iraq and my dad tells everyone he's purusing acting again.
So I am in a really weird mood. In the dream I hadn't bought stationary and hadn't written him yet (after 2 days of leaving...lol), I just felt completely unprepared.
I wish my husband were home 'cause I'm in this really clingy mood, lol.
Update
Just another quiet Friday at my house:
lmao. I totally stole that pic from Katy btw (not in the way you might think- you sick freaks).
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Why have flesh when you can use plastic?!
Ok, as most of you know hubby is leaving for Iraq in October - which means no sdhebangdebang for a whole year (ok, who the fuck would sleep with me? I'm such a dork).So I am seriously considering buying a new toy. I have a toy but bought it for both and not just me.
Hey Katy! Can you and Amy have another sex toy party before hubby leaves so I can stock up on stuff for us?
Katy's my supplier... I get all my junk from her. :) teehee.
Well continuing the theme... my boobs are HUGE! Ok, so they're big considering how small they were before hubby knocked me up. I'm up to a low-middle B! I know! They're ginormous!
lmao- I just remembered the time that Grace, Stephen, Emily, and Ethan (the last 3 are Katy's little devils, Grace is my neice) got into her special under the bed box and dumped lube all over each other. It was just sooo wrong but sooo fucking funny.
I'm getting a lock box for our stuff.
Speaking of funny stuff....
Anyone watch AI last night? Did you see the guy who could sing country like there was no tomorrow? I love him. I seriously think he could be on the radio right now.
You see how I made that transition? Am I smart or what? I shoud write a fucking book.
I'll call it
Update
LOOK AT MY BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Isn't it beautiful? Isn't it magical?!
You couldn't knock the smile off my face with a baseball bat!
I'd like to thank Karen from Troll Baby Designs for working so hard on making me the perfect template for my blog.
I'd like to point out the top graphic- the picture of that chick is perfect. You have no idea how many times I've cross my arms and given that look when I'm mad at someone. LoL.
Beauty AND brains- that's me! lmao.
I'm just overjoyed right now.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Warning- this site is Liberal AND pro-America (god what a concept)....
Oh the funny frunny stuff I find when I'm bored and surfing the web:
- 
- 
Anyhooooo.... There are some things about Republicans I don't understand. Not because I haven't reached that level of thinking yet, but because....what the fuck!?
Hubby has tried again and again to explain to me why certain Republicans do this and not that and.... still.... what the fuck? But to each their own.
Anyhoo- I'm watching Queer Eye and there's a bunch of guys at a bachelor party (the bachelor was the one who got the make over), and his fiance popped out of a giant cake. The look on his face was like "what the fuck! Where are the fake boobs? This bachelor party sucks!"
I wish I had better stuff to write about- but let's face it, my life is boring... The kid is still inside me so I have no great toddler stories to tell, and hubby doesn't beat me or anything so I can't complain about him (woohoo!)- so yes I'm boring.
Although.... the baby hates Stephen and I. You think I'm kidding- hehe. Every time I rub my tummy I suddenly feel like I need to vomit. And Stephen! Poor hubby can't even walk passed me with out me having the need to kneel in front of the porceline god.
Stephen finally bought a new drum kit- after much nagging from me (see wives, if DOES work! lol). He got one of those electric sets- don't think gross 80's sound- but now he can play quietly, with earphones. Sounds like a real set but he doesn't bug the neighbors. For those of you who don't know- I am soooo married to a rockstar.
Yes ladies and gentlemen, I am fucking Sharon Osbourne.
Except I'm not British. Or over 50.
He hasn't played in forever- and I've never actually seen him play. So I am overjoyed that he finally bought a new set.
he loves it and I wsee his face when he plays and that makes me so happy. I'm going to start cry again.... :) hehe
I think they should make sweat flavored chips..... maybe not. Ew...
Time for this week's1. Have you ever been fired?
-Yes, but I was 12. I was in this play and decided I would quit being the professional I was and start acting like a 12 year old. I didn't show up to rehearsals, I didn't memorize my lines.... So they fired me. First and last time that EVER happened.
2. Leather or lace?
-Well not lace that's for sure. I don't like it. On my body at least. Curtains are fine. But it has to be faux-leather since I'm a veg and all. Hehe.
3. Do you enjoy watching sex scenes in movies or do they make you uncomfortable?
-maybe a little of both. Ok, here's the deal (here we go again...) I *personally* feel it wrong and disrespectful for a SO to look at porn on the side. I just do. It's how I was raised. But I do sometimes like watching movies *with* hubby. I see nothing wrong with a once in a while dirty date night.
4. What is the worst grade you ever gotten on a report card?
-an F! I'm stupid, didn't I tell you! lmao- ok, never was stupid, I was damn lazy though.
5. Describe your sexiest outfit.
Well *I* think my sexiest outfit (hubby may disagree) is - lingerie wise, I have a pink and black corset and garter belt combo with thigh highes. As for regular clothes I think it's my brown pinstriped pant suit. It makes me look taller and curvier. I think hubby probably would've picked my school girl outfit (white button up, plaid skirt, knee highs) but he seems to not like that one as much. He changes with what he likes me in a lot. Sometimes it's sweats and a t-shirt. Weirdo. lol
Bonus (as in "optional"): On a scale of 1-10, how good of a lover do you think you are?
Sometime I think I'm a 7 (an 8 if I'm giving a blow job)- and other times I think I'm a 4 'cause sometimes I feel I can't compete with porn movie type of sex hubby used to have so I feel I fall short at times. Just being honest here. Most of the time though I feel on top of my game and am a 7 or an 8. I don't think I'm a 9 or 10 because I have a hard time asking for sex (there I said it- lol) and, you guessed it, I have a hard time showing and telling him what *I* like. I've gotten so much better though.
Update
This is going to be one long ass post. Jenn, one of my Fort Carson bitches (hehe) tagged me with the 4s meme:
Four Jobs I've Had in My Life:
1. worked in a bookstore in No-fucking-where KY where the entire staff exceptme was racist. Didn't last long
2. TGI Fridays. Spare me the Office Space jokes that was the best job I ever had. Mmm power!
3. janiter. I actually like that- I could wear jeans, put on headphones and not have to help customers.
4. home maker
Four Movies I Could Watch Over and Over:
1. The Goonies
2. The Sixth Sense
3. Keeping the Faith
4. Coyote Ugly (it's fucking stupid but I love it).
I Have Lived:
1. San Bernardino CA
2. Rialto CA
3. Nashville TN
4. Virginia Beach VA
Four TV Shows I Love to Watch:
1. CSI
2. Everybody Loves Raymond
3. Friends
4. Extreme Home Makeover
Places I Have Been on Vacation:
1. Santa Barbara
2. The Carribean (how the hell do you spell that?)
4. Okiboji IA
5. Disneyworld
6. Kansas City MO and Nashville TN (where our parents live)
Four Websites I Visit Daily:
1. Katy's blog
2. PYMMOTI
3. blogspot.com
4. The I Talk 2 Much bitches
Favorite Foods:
1. my lasagna
2. my mom's enchiladas- ooohhhh yum
3. veg spring rolls
4. chocolate
Four Places I would rather be:
1. Anywhere with my husband
2. shoe shopping
3. at the beach (man I miss the beach)
4. CA
Four People I Am Tagging With This Meme:
1. Meagon
2. Kellie
3. Kelly
4. Lizzie
Monday, January 23, 2006
My husband tastes just like chicken....
What is it with pregnancy and crazy ass dreams?Last night I dreamed that I was talking to my MIL about me being a liberal (something I would never do in real life) and she disowned me (something that would never happen in real life).
And then the next part of my dream was that Stephen and I wanted to go bowling but he wanted a really good grinder to eat as a snack and that bowling allies never have good snacks. So I went to this one place while he got us a lane in the bowling alley. But Will Smith was behind me and told us all to hop on to his ATV type of thing- so I was sitting next to him and he took us back to the bowling alley and hubby asked where the sandwhich was and I said "well Will Smith said to hop on so I did!"
So then we went to this seedy looking place around the corner. There were a mass of girls running passed the food (which was like all doughnuts) in a line going out the other side. So I fell near the outside door and said something snippy and snotty and these 2 girls sitting outside dressed in all black heard me then shot Stephen and then shot me. I was totally fine, but Stephen somehow turned into like a cooked chicken leg, a peice of liver and some pile of shredded beef. So I took him into Subway, called the police, then we sat down and ate the chicken part. Then I was in our friend Ron's house and he kept yelling at me 'cause he thought I had his sparklies that were supposed to be in his top desk drawer.
WTF!!!!????
Update
Yup, this pretty much sums it up:
Saturday, January 21, 2006
I will never fuck an elephant in the ass....
You know why? Because I'm a girl. And even if I wasn't, my manhood would be too small for an elephant sized ass.Now that I've got your attention... teehee Stephen tried to kill me! LoL!
Ok now seriously we almost died (did I mention I exaggerate sometimes?). The people in front of us slammed on their breaks so we, naturally, slammed on ours. Only the car started so swerve and a tree started to come after us, and then the other side of the road wanted in on the action. But Stephen straightened out the car and we're fine. We didn't hit anything, thank Jeebus. Stephen claims he had no control.... but you and I both know that my husband has been trying to kill me since he met me! Ahhaaa! But I'm too crafty for him! Our marriage is based on pure survival!
Ok ok ok- it's late and I'm totally talking out of my ass- but we really did swerve all over the road.
It's not fun dreaming about html code
Ok, so the blog layout should be fixed. Again- if you have trouble see and/or reading anything please let me know. But I warn you- I'm going cross-eyed fixing up this blog. I close my eyes and all I see is code!Anyhoo- for those of you who play City of Villains you'll know what I'm talking about. If you don't- prepare to be bored.
Ok, so last night Stephen ran off to play Hero Clix with some of his Army buddies and I sat down for a nice game of COV (ahhh).
Ok first off my main COV char' is a lvl 19 stalker- and this lvl 7 player invites me to his team so I was like "dude, why the fuck are you inviting me?" Apparently he couldn't solo one of the first missions you do (which btw everyone I think soloed). So I was like, ok either you need to get a team your own level or I'm just gonna go in and do it all for you which I don't think you want. So without a word he bumped me from the team.
Ugh- I mean that's fine it's just you need to have a level of decency when playing the game- friggin noob. LoL.
Anyhoo- and then I discovered the wonders of the PVP areas. I'm not high enough yet to get into the 20+ lvl area- but I logged my main City of Heroes char on (lvl 50 scrapper) and went there. Oh my god it was fucking awesome. Spiders coming in the hundreds- villains trying to kill us (we totally kicked their asses lol). PVP is a lot of fun. And I like that the entire world isn't PVP- so you get the best of both.
Ok ok - sorry, I'm done boring all of you. :)
Ah yeah... and can someone please tell me where to set up the "make a donation" button thing please?
We need stuff for the baby!
Friday, January 20, 2006
Showin' my hoo-hahs to the Army
Ok you guys need to help me- it's driving me nuts that I can't fix my blog.Like I explained earlier- on some of my computers the picture of the chick with pink hair is somewhat small and over to the right- but on my laptop the picture over laps the menu section.
Ok so- I need your help- if on your computer the picture overlaps please let me know- if most people don't see it over lap I'll leave it, etc....
Ugh!
Oh yeah to all the Military spouses who've had their spouse deploy- I have a dillema....
We heard rumor that some how, some way if you make a video tape, of take pictures, etc, the whole unit wil wind up seeing it.
Has anyone had this problem- 'cause now we're scared to make any thing for him to take over there.
Thanks everyone for all your help.
Update
Ok, how does it look now?
2nd Update
Ok, I'm fixing it- AGAIN. So hopefully this will be the last time anything needs fixing. Please bear with me, it might take a little bit of time- if you come here and the blog looks like crap- just know it will be fixed soon.
What? I look perfect *naturally*!
Ok ok- time for Stuff Portrait Friday. Oooh the excitement too much for you huh? Try and calm down. Hehe.Photo #1- Your lotions:
I just threw out some lotions I didn't really ever use. These are the ones I use every day (and night- ok some are for the morning, some are for night....)
Photo #2- Your towels:
Ok, I did the same thing as Mama Duck. These are the towels in the guest bathroom.
Photo #3- Your toothbrush:
It's a spin brush. My first one. It's interesting... and blue!
And for some fun:
Your life is rated R!
What is your life rated? (MPAA Scale)
Take Other Caffeine Nebula Quizzes
Update!
Ok, as many of you know- hubby and I are big dorks and we play a lot of computer games. So 3 of our computers have really good graphics card and high resolution and what not- and those are the main computers I do all of my blog stuff on. Well I just turned on the shitty laptop and saw that my blog looks wanky on it. Now most peope don't have the crap we have on our main computers.... so please- if my blog layout looks weird to you (the picture is too big and overlaps the side bar) let me know....
It's so weird because on our other laptop (the gaming laptop) the picture looks too small and spread out.
I guess I'll jut fix it anyway- better to be a bit smaller than to overlap right?
As you can see- I'm trying to fix the blog- so just bear with me
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Hairy scary monster...
Last pregnancy I had my "morning" sickness at a certain time each day. I knew when it would come. With this one who knows when I'll be stopped in my tracks with the lovely thought of "god I need to throw up."At first it came right before lunch, then moved to early morning, now it's late evening 'til early morning (I toss and turn enough now I get to throw nausea on top of that- great).
I really don't mind. I don't *go* to work so I'm not at an office being sick. But that creeping feeling pops into my head- that we haven't had a sonogram yet so we don't know if we actually have a baby this time. Last time every single symptom I was all over only to find out we'd had an invisible baby. I want to just sit back and "enjoy" this pregnancy but I can't seem to until we know for sure.
Anyhoo... our girl cat, Hermione, is driving me nuts. I swear I'm going to throw her up a tree. lmao.
I'm already a light sleeper, but add on the pregnancy crap and it's worse. I'm very picky about my sheets and blankets (I iron my sheets people and have kicked hubby out of bed to remake it if they become uneven). So what does Hermione do every night after only an hour of finally falling asleep? Jumps on the bed, walks near my feet and sits on them. And then tries sometimes to come up near our heads and get under the covers. Ok so it may be cute- but not when you're tired and overly picky about the bed. I threw her off the bed likt 6 times last night and she kept popping up. Finally I had to kick her out and shut the door.
She's a great lap cat and she is so comforting when I'm sick and laying on the couch (she'll curl up next to my tummy and purr)- but I can't stand her laying on my feet at night.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Ohhh how stupid people are....
Ok, I went to the bank today to deposit some checks - ooohoo exciting I know, but I stopped into TJ Max and found an awesome peacock blue colored skirt for 8$.And since my jeans are now becoming too tight and the new, bit bigger, pants I bought are a little bit loose skirts are perfect. So yay!
Anyhoo- we watched the start of American Idol last night. Why, I don't know.
There's so much to hate about that show. Paula Abdul's drunken hippie comments (oh I love everyone bla bla bla), girls coming in dressed in nothing but a napkin thinking it'll make their voice better, "rockers" who obviously have no talent and couldn't get a record deal with their band so they go on AI to be "different," and the people who obviously can't sing that go through to the next round.
But you watch that show to see dumbfucks try and sing and laugh at them- that's how they hook you. They're sneaky Fox is... damn them.
There were 2 brothers on (not the fucking awesome ones) no- the dumbasses who sang "Superstar" and thought it was a Luther Vandros song.
Did the sky just turn green or isn't that a Carpenter's song?
And they couldn't even sing and yet they went through! Paula needs to get some fucking ass 'cause she'll let anyone through that serenades her.
Ohhh! But I'm so excited, 'cause after AI tonight is that "skating with the stars" show- where celebrities learn how to figure skate with professionals. Ohhhooo!
That's like every little girl's dream- to be a figure skater.
I might have pursued that dream had I not been ruling the universe.
It's hard being the queen of ALL!
hehe
Oh yeah and- I have my first OB appointment onthe 30th- wish me luck! Hopefully I won't have another invisible baby inside me! lmao
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Ahhh mazing
Ok, yesterday I went to Old Navy after Katy told us that they were having a giant sale. Ohhhh - 50% off of stuff on CLEARANCE! It was amazing. I totally cleaned up.I got like 300$ worth of stuff for under 100$.
It was magical. Ahh, retail therapy... hehe.
Anyhoo, let's get to this week's
1. What are three mistakes someone could make on the first date with you that would automatically make you turn down a second date with them?
-Arrogance/ignorance, trying way too hard to impress me, and lying.
I hate hate HATE it when guys say stuff like "yeah, I spend a lot of time at the gym" andthey have that "tone" in their voice like oh man I am so in! You are sooo out!
2. On a scale of 1-10, how important are good manners to you?
-10. Plain and simple.
3. If your so stopped having sex with you, how long would you stay?
-Well what are the circumstances in which he stops? Is it because he's getting it from somewhere else? If that's the case I'd leave faster than he can blink. If it's because he's depressed or something like that- that's something we can work out. If he's in Iraq and is physically unable to- what else can I do but wait?
4. Have you ever dated an ex's best friend or relative?
-No. But I did think my ex's dad was really hot.
5. On average, how long do you think people wait before having sex? How long do you think they should?
-I dunno, I waited like 2 weeks with hubby- lmao. My big thing about sex is that if you're mature enough to handle all the consequences that might occur (even with a condom and birth control you can still become pregnant and get STDs) then you're mature enough to have sex. And since kids/teenager's brains are not developed enough to have any sense of consequences or anything outdside themselves until about 18 or 19 (on average) I would say wait until your 20s.
Bonus (as in "optional"): How long do you usually spend on a single session of making love?
-I don't know- I don't use a stop watch. LOL. Let's just say less than 2 hours, more than 2 minutes. Hehe.
I stole the following from Lizzie. It was way too funny not to share:
So your son wants to take Ballet huh?
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Penelope Cruz I don't care that you have a nice ass!
I bought the February issue of Marie Claire (they were supposed to have the perfect hair cut and style for me- I guess they meant only if your hair is straight...) andyhoo and Penelope Cruz is on the cover. So the magazine is on the floor next to my computer desk and Penelope is being a mean bitch.She's showing off her ass (which btw totally had to be touched probably- her ass I don't think is that big or round in real life) and she's looking at me. Her face is so saying "Hey. Hey look at my ass. Nice huh? Bitch you wish you had an ass like this. Mmmhhhmmm that's my ass. All the men want it. Bitch don't even try to have an ass like this. Mmmhhmmm...."
Go look at the cover for the February issue of MC. Man, Penelope Cruz is one mean ass lady.
hehe
Anyhoo- Full House is the dumbest show ever. Ok ok ok- that's no surprise I know.
But they are the worst parents/guardians on that frigign show.
I mean, Michelle will whine and cry when she doesn't get her way and then they baby her and bubble wrap her and sugar coat everything so she'll not pout.
Oh for fucks sake!
Ok, yesterday (shut up I watch that show while drifting in and out of my daily nap) I watched the episode where Joey was gonna teach her how to ride a 2-wheeler but she fell in a bush.
Ok how hard is it to be like "well you fell down, get back up and try again." instead of being like "oh please Michelle, I'm so sorry you fell. Oh please don't be mad."
For fuck sake be a parent and get a goddamn back bone.
You do that and I'll remember that it's just a TV show- hehe.
Friday, January 13, 2006
The envelope please....
The winners for January's edition of the "Really Fucking Stupid Blog Awards" are as follows:1) Blogger you'd most like to slap:
Mace!
2) Blogger you fanticize about:
Jenna's husband Steve! that's what you get for letting someong else do all the voting- now you go fanticize about Steve!
3) The blogger that makes you think "thank god I'm not you":
Mace!
4) blogger you wish you were more like:
Beth!
5) Blog you'd like see published in book form:
Lucinda!
6) Blogger most likely to have the most sex toys:
Katy!
7) Male blogger with the best hair:
Erik!
8) female blogger with the best hair:
Katy!
9) Blogger most likely to collect unicorns / Precious Moments / dolphins / etc:
Heather-Anne
10) Blogger of the month:
Me. Because I rule. Because you voted for me *sniffle*
Congrats to all who won- you get a special award to put on your blog:
or 
For those of you who didn't win- there's always March. Or maybe it's because you didn't kiss enough ass. Or maybe it's because there was a lack in voting.
Remember people, if you wait for someone else to vote no one wins.
Congrats again to all who won!
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
And the nominees are....
Ok everyone, here are the nominees for january's addition of "really fucking stupid blog awards" :Go vote!
1) Blogger you'd most like to slap:
-Mace
-Open vote. Meaning you can vote for anyone in this category
2) Blogger you fantasize about
-Open vote
3) The blogger that makes you think "thank god I'm not you":
-Jenna
-Mace
4) blogger you wish you were more like:
-Mama Duck
-Beth
-Badger
-Greg
5) Blog you'd like see published in book form:
-Jenna
-Lucinda
-Daddy Chip
-101 reasons why I hate my husband. (Blog site n/a)
6) Blogger most likely to have the most sex toys:
-Katy
-SJ
-Jules
7) Male blogger with the best hair:
-Erik
-Open vote
8) female blogger with the best hair:
-Katy
-Heather Anne
9) Blogger most likely to collect unicorns / Precious Moments / dolphins / etc:
-Amy
-Heather Anne
-Barely Attentive Mother
-Kellie
10) Blogger of the month of January:
-Me
-Open vote
There You have it. The nominees for January's Really Fucking Stupid Blog Awards. Voting will end Thursday night. I will post the results Friday morning/afternoon.
Congrats to all those who were nominated. For those of you who weren't nominated, better start kissing some ass of the fellow bloggers for next time! Hehe.
Please send all votes to chlnature@hotmail.com
I took out the TMI for a special message because I haven't ranted and raved about anything in a while and I wanted to leave up the nominees so you guys will go VOTE (vote I said!!!).
A girl attending a Christian school in GA (I believe it was GA and all they said was "a Christian school") was expelled for kissing another girl.
Expelled.
Ahem
Well it's nice to know where that school places education on their list. Personally if I'm going to send my child to a certain school and pay an ass fuck load of money I better be sure that they're getting a good education.
I'm not trying to down play the Christian religion at all. My parents are devout Catholics and my husband is a devout Episcopalian (as devout as he can be- he tries at least lol) so I will never try and knock someone's faith. I understand that faith is important to people and to some the driving factor.
But that school- those in it who made the decision to expell the girl- are a bunch of hypocrites. Yeah I said it. A hypocrite.
You preach faith, love, understanding and acceptance because Jesus did all those things.
And yet you'd rather take away a child's education, a chance to better herself through knowledge because you can't accept the lifestyles of gay and lesbian people?
Why don't you start listening to what you preach. Remember the story of Mary Magdelene and Jesus. How she was an outcast and no one would even look at her and then Jesus came along and accepted her. The point of that story is to not judge and outcast but to accept and love. I'm not a Christian but for fucksake *I* got that message.
You're giving accepting and unjudgemental Christians a bad name with your ridiculousness.
Why don't you stop teaching that whatever you do short of sewing up your vagina and cutting off your balls you're a disgrace to God and will go to Hell- why not try preaching to have respect for themselves- that it's ok to know what you want and to ask for it?
How many women feel uncomfortable during sex with their husbands or felt uncofortable showing their naked bodies and have ever faked an orgasm and have ever not known where on their bodies they find the most pleasure?
It's becuase we're taught that we're dirty and disgusting creatures that should never have sex.
Well sex is pleasurable and not just about making kids. If it were just about that would it feel this good?
We need to stop teaching girls to be ashamed of their bodies and sexual wants. No I'm not saying throw every teenager into the arms of some guy and say "have sex!"
You can teach them to be okay with their bodies while installing in them a sense of pride and respect for their bodies.
Ok, I'm going to shut up now.
stupid, friggin, fraggen.... peice a.... grrr
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Bring on the ass kissin'!
I've decided that I need a pick me up, and no better way than to turn my blog friends agaist each other in a bloody battle for stupid awards!Remember the last vote for your blog friends session we had? I think I'm gonna start doing one every other month, starting now (that would be January).
I'm gonna change it a bit though. Instead of automatically voting, I'll open nominations- you can nominate as many bloggers as you want. Once nominations are closed I'll open the voting.
When you nominate just remember to send along the blog url of the blogger you're nominating.
For those of you who don't have my email it's - chlnature@hotmail.com
The new categories are....:
1) Blogger you'd most like to slap
2) Blogger you fantasize about
3) The blogger that makes you think "thank god I'm not you"
4) blogger you wish you were more like
5) Blog you'd like see published in book form
6) Blogger most likely to have the most sex toys
7) Male blogger with the best hair
8) female blogger with the best hair
9) Blogger most likely to collect unicorns / Precious Moments / dolphins / etc
10) Blogger of the month
My mind is slipping
I totally forgot to tell you guys this. It's too funny not to share.When Stephen and I went to KC for Christmas I went to go see Cheaper by the Dozen 2 with 2 of my SILs and their kids (ahh the things we do for family)- and the oldest daughter in the movie has a baby. Well I was sitting next to my neice Katheryn, who's 7, and she goes "that lady is too skinny! She doesn't have the fatness after she had her baby! After my mom had a baby she still had the fatness!"
lmao! So of course I told her it was a movie and not at all real.
btw- for those of you who've seen the movie, didn't Hillary Duff look like a 2 dollar hooker? WTF happened to her?
Anyhoo- I have lost my mind. Not only did I forget to pay the rent and had to pay a late fee- but I forgot to pay the electric bill and we got a notice.
Please some one tell me that they lost their mind when they were pregnant. Please.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
bad bad day
Sigh, I feel like crying. Wait, I've just spent the last 2 hours doing that.I was late paying the rent (I just totally forgot- so not only am I off my game, but the following happened)- so we were charged with a late fee. And since the rent was late the apt management doesn't take checks if it's late (only money orders or whatever). So I hiked my sick and tired ass up to the gas station (slowly, 'cause I swear I was gonna barf). I said I needed to get a money order and tried to pay with my bank card. But NOOOO they only accept cash. So I walk to the bank, walk back, pay with cash and finally pay my rent.
Oh and if that weren't bad enough- I have been calling the doctor's office every hour of every day for a week trying to get a hold of someone, anyone, to make an appointment. NO ONE answers. I keep getting that fucking voice mail!
So I can't seem to see the doctor to start the whole pregnancy appointments. I haven't even gotten my pre-natals yet.
I am completely overwhelmed and stressed (with good reason, last pregnancy I didn't find out until the middle of the 4th month that I'd had a miscarriage in the 8th week andall I want is to know something for sure and no one will help me).
And I'm doing it alone. The friends I have are in CO and DC, my mom is in Nashville, and Stephen works long hours and will start training soon and then leaves for Iraq.
I don't want to sound like I'm complaining and being like "oh I hate my life, woe is me," but everything just seemed to just snowball today and it was really overwhelming and what I want more than anything is a hug from my girlfriends.
You know it's a bad day when you start crying dropping off the rent- I don't think the apt managers knew what to do. Lmao!
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
little bunny foo foo....
Pregnancy headaches are fabulous aren't they? You can't take anything that works and they make your eyes buldge out of your head!Hehe.
Yesterday, and I don't know why but I love this about being pregnant, I was cleaning the house listening to some Garth Brooks and started bawling at Friends in Low Places. Not exactly a tear jerker by any means and yet there I was snivveling it up.
Oh and laying on the couch, bundled and scrunched up, a pot of tea close, watching TLC and snivveling.
Fun times. Hehe.
Anyhoo.... the body by victoria briefs are hte most comfortable friggin panty ever. Ever people. Feels like you're not wearing any- a huge plus for me, hehe. Plus they're "damn my ass looks fucking great!" panties.
Just a suggestion next time you need to buy underwear.
Ok, I'm gonna go lay down and try and sleep this headache off (yeah friggin right).
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
puking is fun!
Ugh, it's the first day back to work for hubby and I. The house is absolutely trashed. I hardly cleaned at all this week. I can't seem to get into my regular cleaning mode while other people, non-hubby people, are in the house. We had 3 of my sisters over, plus 1 brother-in-law and a neice stay for a few days.So I've got to do laundry and a whole list of other crap to do.
BTW I forgot to mention that my MIL got me an Empire Red mixer. It's awesome! Hubby had gotten me a black one but we decided to take that one back (since the red one is smaller and fits better on the counter) and hubby's gonna get me a different x-mas present. :) I have't made anything yet but oh the possibilities!
Anyhoo. It's Tuesday. Time for this week's
:1. Are you a lover or a fighter?
-Both. Isn't everyone both? I mean I'm not going to sit there and say "ok, whatever you want dear," and I'm not going to argue about every tiny topic.
2. Have you ever purposely tried to seduce someone over a long period of time?
Yes. My last boyfriend was an ass (to put it mildly) and after he left (to be with one of his many other women) I started to lose my mind and thought I wanted him back, so I tried to get him back. For a few years I was completely disallusioned about him coming back. Thank god I woke up! lmao!
3. Do you believe in love at first sight?
-No. I believe in lust at first site. I dunno. Maybe love. I remember the first time I saw hubby- there was definately something different there when he smiled at me. I probably started making out with him right then and there. As far as love though- I didn't know we'd be married then, I just knew something was different.
4. Did you toast the New Year? Were you toasted?
-God my family is so fucking boring. Ok, let me rephrase- my husband, and brother-in-law are so fucking boring. loll. Every New Years Eve growing up at midnight we'd take pots and pans and spoons (safe things, none of this gun crap) and bang them and scream and yell and welcome in the new year. This year we were watching South Park and no one wanted to get up and do it.Then we got distracted by the retards across the way shooting guns into the air.
5. If you could pick one resolution to come true for yourself in the new year, what would it be?
-Hmmm...maybe to be more disciplined when it comes to my health. Before if I wanted to lose weight I just stopped eating. I can't do that now. So I need to excercise more. Ugh!
Bonus (as in "optional"): What percentage of women do you think are capable of handling being in a "friends with benefits" relationship? How about men?
-A very small percent. With women, no matter how hard they try, there is an emotional factor when it comes to sex. There just is. We start becoming disallusioned and it becomes harder and harder. At least that's true with me. I've tried the friends with benefits thing. Didn't work. Sex changes everything.
Now, for both men and women, I think that the first time you have sex with anyone is special, and even guys remember their first time with fondness, and the person they lost it to with fondness. I think guys can have more meaningless sex because they're more about it feeling good physically and then just want to do it more. With women, though it feels good, we start to think oh you really really like me! I want to keep doing it with YOU. At least that's what I think.
I stole this from Greg.
So so true:
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Friggin idiot...
Happy new year my pets!There are a group of fucking dumbasses outside our apt complex shooting fucking GUNS in the air. Ok, bullets like everfything else come down. People get hit with stray bullets all the time. God damn fucking assholes. I'd kick their asses (pregnancy irritability) but they have guns....
Nothing more fun than a bunch of drunk ass retard fucks with guns.
